Phoenix

A month or so ago, I took a class with Kristy Robinett to learn to use a specific oracle deck - Higher Intuitions Oracle.

From Aeclectic Tarot - Oracle decks, divination decks, meditation cards, and cartomantic or non-Tarot decks of all kinds. Oracle decks are used for similar purposes to Tarot cards, but have varying numbers of cards - from as low as 20 to as many as 144 - and may be based on any structure or any topic.

Okay - now we know what an oracle deck is!

Every now and again, when something gets me a little down and I'm not sure where to go or what to do, I pull a card from the deck (which is almost always with me).

I've been feeling a bit weighted down by some once important women in my life.  I've been carrying some BIG, BIG, emotional luggage with me and I finally grabbed the cards this afternoon and did a little pull for myself.  I shuffled my cards, repeating to myself - "What do I do?  How do I handle this?  What's next?"  And I drew a card from the deck.

Phoenix.

Sidebar - I totally LOVE these cards!  I love that there is a quote on each animal.  I love that there are key words to relate.  I just am in awe with these!

Back to Phoenix.

The quote: "When once you have tasted flight, you will always walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward:  For there you have been and there you will always be."  ~ Henry Van Dyke

(I have to paraphrase here because Kristy's work is copyrighted and I do not have her written consent to reproduce her exact words.)

Essentially, I am preparing for a new life, a re-birth.  It's time to let go of things and people from my past to enable me to move forward or upward.  It's time for me to look within myself for God to lead me and show me the direction and to have faith - to be open to new ideas and experiences.  It's time to release my fears and move on.

Hmm...

At one time, I was free.  I didn't have all of these relationships to maintain, or now to fix.  It was easy to just go along and whatever.  As I'm getting older, quality is beginning to shove herself into my every day.  I want better for myself.  I want quality.  I want the good stuff.  No more margarine - give me the butter!  I want the best parts - not what's left.  I want not just time with my husband, I want time where we talk and enjoy each other's company.  I don't want to just hang out with my son, I want laughter and memories and time to share.  I have some quality friends that I've made for what they add to my life, not what they subtract and I've left the minus friends behind.

It's time to rebuild with bricks instead of sticks.  It's time to let old habits die and build new, better, healthier ones.  I feel like now really is my time to do that and it's okay if I don't want to feed the wolf at the door anymore.  In fact, it's time for that wolf to pack her tricks and find some other bird, this phoenix is moving on!

There is a phoenix within all of us. Somewhere.  A point where we stop doing the things we have always done and shift everything back around to rise again within ourselves to be who we want to be instead of what we have allowed ourselves to be.  A time to be who we are, not who we are expected to be.

This dark cloud that has been over me most of today is now gone.  I feel clear in my direction.  I know I need to go home tonight, talk to God and start my new path. 

As I was typing "talk to God" this verse came to mind: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  ~ Jeremiah 29:11