Parked cars: A History

My first victim.  A 1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.  This is the exact model.

I grew up in a small town, on the shores of Lake Michigan in the 80's.  I remember I had a blue 10 speed bike and I could go anywhere on my bike and I often did.  We lived on 4th Street, kind of in the center of town and I had a little friend down on 9th Street and I'd often ride my bike down there to play.  It was only 6 blocks (I know that doesn't add up but, between 5th and 6th Streets was a little one block street - Sophia Street), and all downhill to her house.  I was there in like 5 minutes but, it was riding back home that was the problem.  It was then 6 blocks all UPHILL!!  Being the creative and innovative (lazy) child that I was, I found a route home that was a bit flatter - The back way!  Fairview Avenue!

I was only around the corner from my friend's house.  I was dilly-dallying around and the next thing I knew I was lying on the windshield of a PARKED car.  My bike had totally flipped up and over the car. It was in the street behind the car.  What a dope!  The owner of the car came running out of the house, checking to see if I was ok, wanting to call my parents - thankfully, all that I'd hurt was my pride!  Not a scratch on his car!  No damage to my bike.  And best of all, no parents were called!

My 2nd victim - the Jeep Grand Cherokee:

I was dropping the most adorable preschooler EVER off at school one morning before continuing on to work.  I was running a little later than usual and couldn't have my normal parking spot so I had to go to the back row.  I'm just pulling into the spot, as Jacob is opening the back door getting out and a bus - BIG, yellow, school bus, is coming through the parking lot as Jacob is running toward it.  Apparently I didn't put my truck into park before I jumped out to grab Jacob because the next thing I heard was "BAM!" as my truck hit the Jeep Grand Cherokee PARKED in front of me.  I was ready to DIE.  Like 40 parents standing out there waiting for the door to open and I just hit one of their cars.  Of course the mom runs over, screeching,  "It's mine!  It's mine!  That's my car!".  I sent Jacob who is all - Mom you just crashed that car! -  in and went back to look at the Jeep.  And I prayed.  Thank God - no damage, I look at my truck and there is a perfect outline of the Jeep's trailer hitch in the paint on my bumper (it's still there).  I was talking to the mom who drives this vehicle and guess what!?!  It's not hers!  She had borrowed it from her father while hers was in the shop, this was the first day she had it and I managed to hit it!  I gave her my number if they found any damage to call me.  But, OMG - that was the loudest noise EVER and ALL 80 eyes were on ME! You'd think no one had ever seen anyone hit a parked car before!  I also bumped one in the mall with Jeremy's car once but, it's not much of a story.

Alas, victim #3 and the most recent I might add.

The PT Cruiser.

Did I ever tell you I also had my foot run over and was drug through a parking lot on my knees by a PT Cruiser?  You never forget the first car that ran you over...ah, that's another story, another blog post. 

Anyway, I was walking through the parking lot at work earlier this week, and well...the parking lot at work is like the Indy 500 to some of our foreign nationality employees.  Sweet Jesus, I can't tell you the number of times I've had to jump - backwards!  Back to my story, I was walking through the parking lot, planning my course through the parked cars with my eye on the prize (the door - it was COLD!) and I wasn't paying much attention to what was directly ahead of me so when I turned to navigate the next course, I turned too soon and caught my shin on the tire of the PT which sent me sprawling over the hood, my computer bag bonking my shoulder and my other carry bag (the new Thirty-One Super Organizing Tote in Pick-Me Plaid to be specific)  flopping quite close to my head which uh, my face did plant on the windshield. I left a print! Thankfully, I arrive about 8:30AM and most everyone else between 7:30 and 8AM.  I'm even more thankful that I did NOT have coffee with me that morning as 1 - it would have been wasted, 2 - It would have been all over the car and my favorite, 3 - I would have been wearing it!

They say it all happens in threes - no more parked cars for me!  Wait...6, 6 is divisible by three...so is 9...and 12...and 15...and.....