Happy New Year!

Most people wait until The New Year to look back, to reflect on the past year.  This year, I've been so looking forward to October 1 for my calming down, my new beginning.  Now that it's finally here, I can't help but look back on this past year to see how far I've come.

I have a new boss this year.  I was with the old one for almost 10 years.  Though I like him, my job responsibilities had grown so far away from him that I almost felt like his lack of understanding of my systems etc. were holding me back.  No fault of his nor mine.  He manages component qualifications not financials.  I am happy where I am.  My new boss is certainly a different personality and I am interested to see what our 2nd year brings.

Jeremy and I both have had some changes at work this year.  I've worked more overtime than ever, spent more money than ever and well, Jeremy's had some new experiences at work as well.  I'm not going to go into details here because I don't know if I can...but, let's just say we're on the other side now, waiting for new insurance to kick in, and a change in paydays, 401K, etc.  It's been a trying few months but, we're all ok!

This also marks 1 year since I broke off the relationship with my mother.  Some say 'how could you do that?, She's your mother." and on and on.  I've heard them all.  I do love my mother.  I really do.  I miss the person she once was.  I am proud of the values she gave me, the lessons she taught me. I'm proud of the person she shaped me into.  I am not angry with my mother.  I am sad for her.  I am sad that she would rather wallow in self pity than enjoy her family, her grandchildren.  I'm sad she'd rather count her pennies, than give anything enjoyable to herself.  I'm sad that she would rather count what she's given away than count the gifts she's been been blessed with.  I'm sad that she prefers to count her friends than be a friend.  I'm sad that she can only see the pain in her past, rather than the joy in her future.

I'm looking back at myself this last year.  I've learned so much about myself about where I want to go what I want to do.  I have met some exceptional people.  I had the opportunity to meet and study with psychic/medium/healer Echo Bodine who helped to restore my faith in God.  Who taught me to listen to that "Still Small Voice" within me and my God will lead me everywhere that I need to go.  I also had (and narrowly missed) the opportunity to meet and attend "An Evening of Spirit" with James VanPraagh.  Through these people, and of course some cleaning and clearing of some not so positive people from my life, I've learned more and more who I want to be.  And I want to be happier, healthier, more fun.  I want to laugh more and enjoy my life.  I want to have great friends that I love - that love me for me and all the dumb shit I do.  I want to laugh.

Most of all, when I turn 80, can't walk and barely talk, I want to be able to look back at myself and I want to smile.  I want to remember laughter and happiness. I want to remember loving and being loved.  I want to remember the blessings I've been given.  And I hope to be a counted blessing.

I wish for all of you to take some time and (sorry Kate - I'm saying it again) just breathe.  Think about the things that really matter to you.  Think about what is truly important.  Think about the things you say or do and the memories they make.  Do you have room to improve?

It hasn't been an easy year, it's been a learning year.  It's been a purging year.  It's been a cleansing year.  I'm ready to move forward to a new year.  I'm ready to give this new year the best that I've got, and I hope that is what it gives back to me. 

Wishing you all love and light.  Happy New Year!