E = Elaine's Day Care

One of the hardest things for me with Jacob has always been trusting someone to watch him when I'm not there.  I struggled from the day we brought him home. The first 6 months, until his adoption papers were signed by the judge, were just pure hell for me.  I was always afraid - though I knew it wasn't possible - the social worker would come and take him away.   I was so afraid we'd do something wrong, or she'd change her mind.  The only solution I could see was perfection.  The only person I'd accept any mistakes from was myself.  I'm still a little like that to this day.  When it comes to Jacob, it's very difficult for me to trust.

I met Elaine and Tom when Jacob was only 5 months old.  I don't know that I can explain to you what I felt when I met them but, I knew this was the place and they were the people I could trust my kid with.  In the 6 years Jacob has been there, I have never once questioned my decision.  Jacob has always enjoyed going there and I've never cried to leave him there.

I can say when I met them, I was looking for day-care but, what we got was family.

I've had many occasions when Jacob was littler where someone would say hi to him and call him by name.  It used to unsettle me a bit, the whole I-don't-know-you-how-do-you-know-my-kid? thing and after many, many times of asking, I now know the answer, "Laine's".

Jacob grew up with Elaine and Tom.  They think of him as their own, as do their kids (as do we).  Jacob loves them all - Gary, Amber, Jerrod, Aubrey, Jeanie - I think Ashley and Katie were Jacob's first crushes - I seem to remember him calling one of them his "Hoe-ney".  I can't help but think of them as family .  I've never hesitated them taking Jacob - or their kids taking Jacob.  I never have.

All this time, I have never disagreed with Elaine, Tom or any punishment or lessons with Jacob.  I've actually come to rely on Tom as Jacob holds quite a bit of respect for him.  Jacob never wants Tom to know when he's been naughty to his mom!  I have always been careful to follow Elaine's rules as well, I don't mean that as I disagree with her but because she's right and because I have to have her back.  I can't undo or override what she says - ever. It's her home, her rules.  Again, not that there has been anything TO disagree with.

I almost cried last week - Jacob was being a JERK to me and Tom, Tom wasn't going to stand for it and he told Jacob that he wouldn't allow Jacob to disrespect his mother in his house.  Jacob was mad!  He stormed out the door!  He would have slammed it if he could have (dang springs!).  Jacob knew he'd gone too far.  And he knew it was over.  I didn't have any trouble with him for the rest of the night.  What choked me up - what Tom did, was something my dad would have said.  And - we all know how I feel about my dad - I was really glad to have that support.  Thanks Tom and I know my dad would thank you too!

I look back at Jacob's milestones and Elaine & Tom were there for them all.  When he rolled over, when he talked, everyone took turns letting Jacob hold fingers while he learned to walk.  She taught him please and thank you, to eat with a spoon and fork, to pick up toys and put his dishes by the sink.  I didn't do that.  But, I know through all of these things, there is love.  They truly love these kids and though they drive them CRAZY at times - they do this out of love, certainly not the money but, love.

I can't put to words how I feel about Elaine and Tom, grateful, thankful, blessed, lucky, are all at the top of the list.  Because of them, I have been able to go to work and trust that my child was safe, to know that if he was sick, I'd be called and that he'd be loved until I could get to him!  I can't label what that means to this mom, I can't put words to it, I can't price it.  But, I can tell you it means the world to me to have it!

Thank you, Tom & Elaine for everything you do for all our kids. Thank you for all of the love you give to them and the lessons you teach them.  Thank you for your patience with us parents - I know we're the biggest part of the battle.  Thank you for helping us to make our children better people.  Thank you for giving us parents the peace of mind in knowing that our children are loved and cared for when we can't be with them.  Thank you for giving these kids a part of yourselves.  They'll carry that, always.

(By the way - thank Jeanie - the words are all mine but, she chose the topic for "E")