The 40 Day Prosperity Plan

I had posted on my social media account that I was on day 16 of this process.  It has been, shall we say 'enlightening'?

I worked in Corporate Automotive for a very long time, which means I made realllllly goooood money.  I had a lot of benefits - 3 weeks vacation, paid time off between Christmas and New Years, paid sick time, the ability to work from home - to come in early or to leave late.  All the perks.  One day, I was called into a conference room and it was all over.  "Sign here, here, and here".  I never thought it would happen to me as I watched my cumulative 23 years of car parts disintegrate before my eyes.

I wasn't happy in that job, and I don't think I truly had been for a very long time.  Most mornings, while driving my 30 minute commute, I was on the phone with my Mr., often in tears, about how much I hated all of the stress of this job.  I hated all of the emails - most from China.  I often started answering email at 4:30/5 AM.  Many mornings, I sat in my car in the parking lot for a good 10 minutes, willing myself to get out of the car and go in the door.  In fact, the end of September, he and I were discussing 'what if I just quit?'.  We went of vacation in October and I did some soul searching.  We decided I'd wait it out for at least some small severance should I be let go.

My brother was also taking an early retirement from the same company and I was struggling with the future of my employment there, without him.  He and I have always been close.  I have always been able to speak my mind, my frustrations, etc. and without him there - 4 digits away - I knew that relationship would never be the same.

All of these things we weighing on me when I was called into that conference room.  I wasn't surprised, shocked, scared...I was relieved.  I didn't cry.  My hand shook as I signed and I was done.

I made 2 calls as I left.  The first to my brother.  The next to my Financial Adviser.  And I drove home to tell my husband.

What happens after your life is rearranged for you?  You move on.

I didn't eat that first day.  I fielded the calls and texts of condolences.  I called my HR rep to thank her for her help and encouragement.  And get this - she pretended not to know me!  Lesson one in counting the people who count!

I tackled the hurdles of unemployment, continuing my life insurance, and applying for my 2 jobs a week with no idea of where to go or what to do, I only knew that whatever job I did take would pay half or 1/3 of what I was making!  Did you hear me?  I said HALF or 1/3 of my old pay!!   Fuck!

I have a lot of skills...however, none of them apparently transfer to any job I applied for as most of them I didn't even rate a "no, thank you".  And I began to wonder ' where am I going to land"  and counting the remaining weeks of unemployment.

I had always said when I left my CorpAm job I wanted to go do something to help people.  Truly help them.  Not in car parts where EVERYTHING is an emergency or I need this NOW.  I want to make someone smile, make their day a little easier, see the gratitude in their eyes - I want THAT job.

A friend reached out and said - why don't you come in here and apply? - So I did.  I was hired essentially on the spot - after 2 months of sending resumes and applications.  I was elated.  Cloud 9.  What a huge Ego boost!  And then reality jumped in and bit my ass.  I kept calculating over and over and over and over the difference in pay.  I was obsessed with the numbers.  I was FREAKING out.  The Mr. kept telling me - we're making it on unemployment!  He's not wrong.  We are.

I woke up at 4:30AM that next morning reviewing every mistake I had ever made at "that job" and well, every mistake I had made in life in general to bring me to getting fired (call it what ever you want -  you no longer have the job - you were fired).  I had started this 40 Day Prosperity Plan and as I sat there with my cup of coffee, my calculator, my favorite pen, my notebook and a raging panic attack brewing under the surface, I remembered that this....all of THIS...is not for me to worry about.  I'm supposed to be giving my burdens to my God.  God is my true provider.  8 days into this plan and I had already tried to take back the damn pen.  I was trying to make this work for me rather than letting God lead my way!  I know better.  I picked up my pen and my book, wrote out the 9th day's step and gave it all back over to God. 

Here I am on day 16 of the plan, God still has the pen, with a negative TB test, about to go take my pre-employment drug test and find out my start date.  I'm nervous but, I know this is where I am meant to be.  I know this is my path and I will be prosperous - maybe not financially right away but, I will be in my heart.