I disagree with this statement.
I do not believe any one person is responsible for another person's happiness, worth or self worth. I live my life for me not for anyone else. I'm responsible for my actions, my morals, my thoughts and my deeds. I choose. No one else has that power over another person. No one should have that power over another person. It's taken me a long time to realize that I control this life. I control who comes in and who goes out of it (sometimes), I control how I react or if I don't. Sure, I have responsibilities to my family - my husband, my son. My husband does not dictate to me what my responsibilities are to him. I choose them based on my morals and principles. It's my responsibility with my husband to teach my child to love himself and embrace who he is. To make his own way and follow his own path. To stand up for his beliefs and to compromise when he can. I wasn't taught that.
Enough soapbox talk.
There are many people in my life that I love dearly, that I couldn't imagine a moment without. People who help to make my life GREAT!
Jeremy and Jacob, of course. I could do it without them. I don't ever want to but, I could. I love my husband and my child but, neither of them make my life worth living. I do that. They are part of me but, they don't make me. I couldn't ask for a better partner or friend than my husband. I cherish almost every moment with him. There are a few he could keep to himself. :) And my Jacob, oh my Jacob. This kid is my sun and my moon. And he is me. All of my faults - he has every one! But, he also has my heart. He loves BIG and he hugs tight! Like my mom, to lose one of them would render me a different person. I would survive it but, I don't think I'd want to.
My family. I have lost one sister and I don't want to lose any more, I have three, very different, very awesome sisters and my one and only big brother, I couldn't imagine this life any differently than what it is. They're my siblings, some days are great, some not so great but, they're still my family and no matter what, I love them all. Seriously, did you really think you could take 5 fiercely independent, (I mean this in a good way and I'm speaking of myself here too) stubborn, opinionated and determined people, put them together and have us all never, ever disagree, never argue, never get angry? Wow! You must be naive! We can and we do disagree but, at the end of the day, they're still my family. I don't care. I still love them! God knows I love them! And they love me too! Right? You guys do love me? Don'tcha? Hello?
My in-laws. It's been a very tough road. Like magnets, no matter how hard you try two Norths won't come together nor will two Souths. At times, you can let yourself slide and flip to make an attraction but, some things you just cannot compromise, can't flip. I have learned a lot of lessons with them and I have many more to go. I hope one day it gets easier to flip direction and come together more often. I do appreciate them and I haven't given up all hope.
My friends. Man, do I have some amazing friends. It's a short list. It's a distinguished list. I like quality, not quantity and I've picked some great ones. Some new, a few old but, really, really terrifically, great people. I wish some of us had remained close and I'm sad for some that I have lost but, alas that is another post (coming soon in this challenge).
I'm sitting here counting all of you and I'm glad you're here. I've pulled out a few memories and smiled. I've thought of a few others and choked back some tears. Even though I can't say you have made my life "worth living for", you sure have given me a ton of laughs, a bucket of tears, a bushel of good times, and just a little pint of sadness. I wouldn't trade a moment of it. I cherish it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment