Happy 4th Jacob!

My little boy is turning four today and I look back at all of the things I have given up, have changed or no longer exist since becoming a mom. Most of them, I don't miss.

I am no longer allowed to go to the bathroom by myself. EVER. The door is rarely even shut.

Every shower I take, I'm greeted with - "You're in the showder Mommy?"

I cannot flush the toilet for myself. I have had him walk in and try to lift me from the toilet saying, "Hey! Get off of that poop!"

I cannot take a "quick trip" anywhere. Every trip from our house in a car involves a drive through the police/sheriff station or Fire Department.

I have to check my oven for cars, or pans of marbles before baking.

I don't get to bake alone. I always have a helper and egg shells in my cakes.

I've also gotten used to a small amount of grounds in my coffee.

I have to check ALL pots and pans before use.

I have a step stool in front of each toilet.

And there is nothing, NOTHING in this world that prepares you for sitting on cold porcelain at 3:00AM with your bare ASS - because he left the seat up!

I no longer take steps when I walk through my house in the dark. I tend to shuffle to make sure I don't step on a toy. Little cars and building blocks hurt the most, though a good toy siren in the dark will make you pee in your pants.

My bed. We bought a bigger bed - a king - then added another person to it.

Sleep.

At least one sip from any beverage I ever have. Sometimes, I lose the whole beverage.

The car radio.

My butter cream frosting bath gel/shampoo/bubble bath from Em for my birthday. "I wanna fmell wike a cupcake!"

A throw blanket my in-laws gave one Christmas.

Freedom to go and do as I please.

Telephone conversations always consist of a little voice in the background yelling, "I wanna talk!" followed by, "Who is that?"

A drawer in my fridge that now always contains juice pouches, juice boxes, pudding cups, and an occasional yogurt.

I get to yell things like, "Wait until your father gets home!" or "Don't make me stop this car!" or "Quit jumping on that cat!" and I sound just like MY mother did.

Maybe "given up" isn't quite the right phrase, I've gladly traded these things. Traded them for phrases such as "Mommy, you're my best friend.", "Mommy, can we talk?", "I love you sooo much!", and "Mommy, wook at this face!" or "Thank you, Mommy!"

I have become a better speller.

I swear less. That came into play on a road trip where Jeremy missed a turn and Jacob piped up with "sonuvab*9$%".

I now know the difference between a police siren, an ambulance siren, a firetruck siren, and a volunteer firefighters vehicle siren.

I have never worried more, feared as much, or cried as hard. I have never smiled more, laughed harder or loved as unconditionally.

I often tell Jacob, that I am luckiest mom ever.

He asks "why?",

"Because I have you. Because I have You." and then he looks at me as if I'm batshit crazy while I cry...again.

Happy Fourth Birthday, my sweet boy! It's all worth it and I love YOU!