First time for everything

I never thought I'd be one of those nervous moms who never sends their kids anywhere out of their sight...I am.

I always felt that we took Jacob because we wanted to have a child. I don't believe in or agree with dumping my child off on someone every time I have the chance. He's my son and my job is to raise him, to take care of him. I'm not saying that to have a sitter is wrong. It's simply something we don't do. Yes, Jacob does go to day-care but, he's been with Elaine since he was 5 months old! Oddly, I was always very comfortable with her and her husband taking care of him.

Since Jacob was born, we've left him overnight just two times! Both times, for just one night and Brammie H came over to stay at our house. You know, in the three years since Jacob was born, I have never gone out by myself and left him with someone? Jeremy and I have gone out together for a little bit, a few times and left Jacob with Brammie Harper. WE've left him for the day with Uncle Dave and Aunt Jen, and WE have left him with Miss Jennifer on a few occasions. BUT I, his mom, have never left my child with anyone other than Jeremy to go and do something just for me, by myself.

I'm going out tonight with Jeremy's sister. Jacob is spending the night with Brammie and Brampa S and his big brother. I'm nervous. It's not that I don't trust them, I do - wholeheartedly. I know that Brammie and Brampa will take excellent care of my little boy and I know I have nothing to worry about. I know that Jacob will be fine. I know he'll have a lot of fun.

Of course, there are a million thoughts running through my mind. Silly thoughts. That I'm selfish, he'll miss me, I shouldn't go, and the whole list of 'what-ifs'. Plus this sinky feeling in my heart of leaving my child. Man - we should have kept the dog. I didn't feel this bad when we left him somewhere.