Reciprocation? Kindness? Generosity?

Last week, I read a post on a blog that I like. The question was this: "let's say you're given the opportunity to donate some money to a desperate family who would use it to feed their children, but were only able to do so if you donated the same amount of money to someone you knew would use it to buy crack. Would you do it?"

I mulled over this question for awhile because it actually touches into my own life a little bit. So you can think on that question while I explain.

I've thought long and hard about the question above and her answer to it, I realized what I've been doing wrong, all of this time. I guess I always thought that if you did something for someone, they kind of owed you, in a way. That there always had to be some sort of reciprocation. All of my life, I had thought I had a say in what a person did with the help I gave to them. I thought I could judge them based on their decisions. I also had the idea that it was up to me what type of reciprocation was acceptable. I thought I got to pick what was 'good enough'. I was wrong. VERY wrong and I've been wrong for a long time. I don't want to be that person anymore. I'm not going to be that person anymore. I'm going to be like the brother. I'm going to give that man the $20 for a rose and not care what he does with it - because he needs that money so much more than I do!

I'm learning that reciprocation isn't as cut and dried as the dictionary definition. It's always been there but, I needed to open my eyes a little wider to see it. I see it now. Sometimes, it comes in the surprise of a new friend that you've never met, encouragement from an old friend that you really miss, or even in the tears of a mother who was so thankful for some help because she didn't know how she would clothe her three children this winter. So, you see, it does come. It comes from kindness. It comes from generosity. It comes when you open your heart, ignore those voices in your head, and just do the right thing. Speaking of the right thing, I know I hurt my sister-in-law by being such a hard ass. For that, I can never apologize enough but, I'm sure going to try. It's the right thing to do.

So back to the question. This me. This new me. The one that found her heart, and it's a big, soft heart - I would sooo give the money. But, I'm very curious. What would you do?