No such thing!

“Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.”   ~ Marc Hack


My sister (and it doesn't matter which one, she knows) shared this quote today and as quotes often do, it made me think...


Love, flaws, incapability...and to believe I must hide those about myself, well, to tell you the truth, I'm not good at hiding and I'm not perfect.  I am flawed, my family is flawed, my parents are flawed - and if you don't already know it, you are flawed too.  Can I put an exclamation after that period?


It seems so many of us are struggling with our inner demons these days.  So much talk of depression, of sadness and we all have that to some degree, I guess maybe some of us are simply better able to (or more capable) pull ourselves up and out of it than others. It doesn't mean that I am better than you because I can do that - and I pray to tell you there are some days when it is REALLY hard!  I'm not better than you because I can sit at a computer and type my feelings in words or stories and you can't.  I'm not any better at all.  I'm just me. You are just you.  If God wanted us all to be the same, he would have created us the same.


It's not as easy for me as some may think.  I have my down days, I have my struggles.  I'm 41 years old and I rarely speak of my childhood and recently, some of it has come around to smack me square in the face.  I've had a few days where it's pushed me right down into the dirt.  It takes time for the mind to sort, some never do, and process all of the information swirling around and at times it takes the heart and the actions even longer to catch up.  Thoughts/words/emotions/expression/remediation are not always immediate results.  They take a little time to form.


I'm learning to be a better person.  I'm learning to listen more and speak less.  To give more than I take, not to tear people down but, to lift them up.  To talk rather than yell. To not judge or form opinions of others. I'm learning to just be and enjoy.  I'm trying to make this my normal.


I have to tell you, there is no such thing as perfect.  Perfect does not exist.  I know I'm not it.  I'm not the perfect sister, daughter, mother, or wife.  My house is not perfect, my car is a mess, and I can't grow a damn thing in my yard.  But, one thing that I am, is me.  Just me.  I am silly and weird.  I'm serious and I'm goofy.  I'm a lot of fun and a pain in the ass!   I do a lot of great stuff and even more really dumb shit!  But, you can love me, or not.  You can spend time with me, or not.  You can laugh with me or think I'm an idiot.  You can be my friend or not.  It's not that important to me.   It's just not.


In the end, when the sun goes down, I am who I am and you'll be who you are.  If we don't mesh, we don't mesh.  And that's ok.  Will our lives be forever changed because we're not what we have deemed as perfect.  I don't think so as I believe there is no such thing in this world as the perfect this or that, can't we just stop looking for it?  Please, can we?