Rest in Peace Grandma S.

Memories

© Louise Bailey

I feel a warmth around me
like your presence is so near,
And I close my eyes to visualize
your face when you were here,
I treasure the times we spent together
and they are locked inside my heart,
For as long as I have those memories
we will never be apart,
Even though we cannot speak any more
your voice is always there,
Because every night before I sleep
I have you in my prayer.

I'll never forget the first time I spoke to her.  I answered the phone one afternoon, shortly before Christmas and she said to me "Hello, this is Nancy S. and I'm Jacob's grandma."  We became fast friends.  I trusted her immediately with my child and I came to love her like a mother.  She introduced me as her daughter and I was honored.

There were a few late nights she'd catch me on Facebook and she'd just know I was sad.  Soon after, my phone would ring and she'd have me laughing in a matter of minutes.  I always knew when my phone rang after 10 PM that it was her!

We had so much in common, she was from Shelby and I from Manistee.  We both loved being "up north", close to the lake.  We liked to sew and craft and we talked about everything under the sun.  She'd take my arm and say "Me too!  Me too!".  We were never short on conversation - or on laughs!

She helped me to get back to church.  It was one Sunday morning, in church with them, I actually saw the ray and felt the warmth of light from a Heavenly beam shining on me.  I felt all of my angst, and all of my anger with God disappear and my faith in Him came back to me. I remember looking at her when I saw the ray to see if she was seeing it too.  I looked to see if anyone else was seeing it!  I asked her if she saw or felt the ray, she said no but, she was so happy for me to have found my faith again.  She said she was a little jealous that I got the ray and she didn't!

Jacob spent the night with her a few times and, it was there we discovered his love for toy vacuums.  He met his sisters and brother while with her.  And he often asked to go see her and we didn't go.  I feel bad, after her strokes, we lost contact.  I was afraid to visit her, not knowing what condition she was in.  I was afraid Jacob wouldn't understand.  She was in and out of different hospitals and care homes so often, that I couldn't keep track of where she was.  She'd be doing better and then worse!  We did finally visit her at home a few weeks ago - just before Jacob's 7th birthday.  She was in good spirits that day and it was a glimpse of the woman I had known.  We talked for quite some time.  I'm so happy we went to see her that day.  I'm glad to have that last memory of her.

Jacob and his Grandma, Halloween 2011.

We celebrated her life today. It eases our pain to know she is finally free from hers.  Rest in peace, Nancy.  We loved you more than you'll ever know!