Reflections in the leaves

I love fall.  I love the cooler temps, sweatshirts, sweaters, falling leaves, the crispness in the air.  I love the color in the trees, the warmth of candles, and the perfect excuse to eat pumpkin pie every chance I get!

With all of these things that I love at this time of year, I can't help but think of the memories of loss as well as the chances I've had to create new beginnings. I guess that is why fall is so important to me - remembering my losses and the opportunities I've been given, and what I've learned from both the losses and my successes.  The thing that make each of us who we are.

I just finished reading Mitch Albom's Have a Little Faith (which was a great book) and in it, was a poem or a quote by Robert Browning Hamilton ~

"I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er word said she
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!"

Sure we remember the fun times we've had and the joy in them but, think for a minute about the tough things you've been through and what you learned from them.  Had I not buried my sister (her funeral was November 1). I wouldn't understand how important it is to tell someone how you feel about them at every opportunity because you might never see them again.

Had my Dad not suffered with Multiple Sclerosis all of my life and most of his, I might not have learned compassion for others and to do the things you love to do while you can because they can be stolen from you  - no matter how healthy you are.

Had I been able to bear a biological child, I would have missed the opportunity to have the sweetest, most adorable son on the planet.  And it terrifies me to think of the life he could have had without me.

Had I had the ideal parent, I might not have learned to love and appreciate every. single. moment. with my child.  I wouldn't have learned to take the time to appreciate the joy in my child when we do things together.

Had my parents not divorced when I was so young I might not have learned what it takes to make my marriage as happy and as solid as it is.

Had I not wasted 6 years in an awful relationship, I wouldn't have learned what I wanted the relationship with my life partner to be like...

"I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er word said she
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!"