Happy 40th Birthday Jeremy!

I struggled with a great gift for my husband for his 40th birthday.  He doesn't wear a watch.  Clothes aren't his thing.  It's too FREAKING hot in St. Louis for a ball game this time of year and I can't buy tickets now for next spring!  For a guy that doesn't have much - Jeremy is the MOST difficult person to buy for. So - I'm taking a different approach.  Those of you who know me well, you know I don't pour my heart out often.  I'll tell you what I think but, it's rare for me to put my emotions out for everyone to see.  Sure, to look at Jeremy and I, and our relationship, we talk loud, we argue about everything, we poke fun at each other, and maybe we don't always seem the picture of a loving couple - maybe not even a liking couple.  To tell you the truth, I couldn't imagine one second of my life without him and I even though I did struggle at the beginning, looking back, I really knew from the moment I met him...and once I told him that's how he felt about me, that was it!  We were stuck!

I met Jeremy a few months before he turned 30 (10 whole years ago!).  I really struggled with a birthday gift for him that year too.  We'd only been dating for 3, going on 4 months at the time and I didn't think I knew him well enough to spend much money.  I had searched and searched and finally picked out a gift.  Something perfect.  Something I knew he'd LOVE.  But, it was expensive!  $300!  I was living on my own then, alone for the first time EVER - paying my own rent (no roommate), car payment, utilities, etc., not depending on any man to help me.  I'd just - I mean JUST come out of a 6 year roller coaster.  I both was and I wasn't sure if this new guy (was I ready for a new guy?) was someone, or this relationship was something to invest THAT much money into so early on.  I waited and I prayed, at the last possible second, I took the chance.  I bought that $300 gift and I gave it to Jeremy for his birthday that year.  I'll always remember the smile on his face when he opened it.  Jeremy has worn my gift everyday since.  And everyday, when I see that gift, I think of my uncertainties in our relationship at that time, which always leads me to remember my leap of faith and where the last 10 years has brought us.  We have a lot of memories wrapped up in this time - some good, some not so good.  We've learned a lot, we're still learning from each and every one.

We both, of course brought our own baggage into this relationship, as all couples do.  I had told Jeremy once - "Don't ever regret your past because every single moment of it had to happen the way it happened to bring us to where we are.  If either of us, had skipped just a second of it, we would have missed each other!"   Oddly,  until recently, I had never thought of it regards to myself  - if I hadn't dated this one, or that one - I wouldn't have crossed Jeremy's path.  I only wanted him to move forward, not regret the past - it's our past that makes us who we are...maybe I already knew it for myself.

I heard this song back in early July (when I wrote this) and it reminds me of the plan God had/has laid out for us - Jeremy and I.  How we don't always know where each step is leading us at the time but, if we look back where we have been, the path is clearly there, laid out behind as it was intended to be.

"Bless The Broken Road" - Rascall Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

I see now, my path was also leading straight to you, our beautiful son, the crazy brown dog, and every other thing in this life we have built together with all of its challenges as well as its triumphs.  I'm glad I took a chance and bought that gift for you 10 years ago and I'm still glad it was you, though I don't always show it, I think I'm the one who got the best gift!

Happy 40th Birthday Jeremy!  I love you to the moon, and back again.