I'm sorry to inform you, Howard, the serial killer fish, has died. We found him lying on the red rocks in the bottom of his tank yesterday morning. Visitation will not follow. Flushing has already taken place.
He was a pretty fish with a fluffy, yellow tail. We fed him, he swam. Maybe we should have changed his water...though it wasn't cloudy and gross or even stinky. Maybe he was lonely...then he shouldn't have killed his friends. Whoops!
Did you know that people actually take their dead fish back to the store for a refund...? Really! They do! Could you imagine!?! Um...yeah, I killed my $1.99 goldfish and now I want my money back. Unbelievable.
I think we're done with fish.
How about a dog!?!
ummm... I returned a fish once. It was a algae-eater and I put it in a dirty tank, hoping he would it clean it for me. He did, and then he died. I brought him back to the store in a baggie, leaking algae all the way. If you squeezed him... Well, you can only imagine.
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