Sunday night, I was lying on the couch feeling...hmm...out of sorts. Jacob came in and asked me, "Mommy, okay?"
"Yes, Mommy is okay."
"Mommy fick?"
"No, Mommy isn't sick."
"All better?"
"Yes, Mommy's all better."
"No hurt?"
"No, Mommy's not hurt."
"Old." He said. He gave me a nod and off he went.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Breaking it Better
A couple of weeks ago, we took J to Toys R Us to get a Pumper(firetruck). We walked through several aisles all along J looking around going "Ooooh!". We finally get to the trucks and see firetrucks. We started pointing them out, pushing buttons, and asking him which one he wanted. He kept pointing to the trash truck. No matter what we showed him, he kept going back to the trash truck. We thought about it, and I believe just decided that if it makes him happy, then screw the fire truck, trash truck it is. Now, mind you, it is a pretty cool trash truck. You flip the lever up and the arm lifts the dumpster and dumps it into the top of the trash truck. You push some other buttons, and flip other levers and you get trash truck noises. Jacob has truly enjoyed playing with this since he got it.
Now, as all toys tend to do with a three year old boy, the trash truck took a ride down the basement stairs. I figured it for a goner and I left it in the basement. (Our rule is if it goes down the stairs, it is lost until tomorrow. None of the games of going up and down.) Last night Mama brought it upstairs, Jacob was pushing the buttons and we hear:
"Pull over and stop the vehicle now!"
"We're in pursuit, need air support!"
"1487-694 Henry David Zebra. No wants, no warrant."
And of course, sirens.
All the sounds you would expect to come from the first police trash truck in existence.
Now, as all toys tend to do with a three year old boy, the trash truck took a ride down the basement stairs. I figured it for a goner and I left it in the basement. (Our rule is if it goes down the stairs, it is lost until tomorrow. None of the games of going up and down.) Last night Mama brought it upstairs, Jacob was pushing the buttons and we hear:
"Pull over and stop the vehicle now!"
"We're in pursuit, need air support!"
"1487-694 Henry David Zebra. No wants, no warrant."
And of course, sirens.
All the sounds you would expect to come from the first police trash truck in existence.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Backfired
This morning, as I was getting ready for work, Jacob and Jeremy were playing in the bathroom. Jacob was whining at something Jeremy did that he didn't like.
I said, "Jacob? Is daddy a jerk?"
No answer
I tried a different approach, "Jacob, who's a big jerk?"
"You!"
I said, "Jacob? Is daddy a jerk?"
No answer
I tried a different approach, "Jacob, who's a big jerk?"
"You!"
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
In honor of 12 years of employment
Things I have learned or seen in the corporate women's restroom.
I never use the first stall in our bathroom. If someone is at the sink and they look to the right - they can see you, in all your glory, sitting on the pot.
A woman with red shoes who always chooses the first stall to sit on the pot, do her *business*, and have a lengthy conversation on her cell phone with someone in a foreign language.
The automatic air freshener that is so strong when you first walk in that you can taste it but it doesn't mask any odors.
A man. Yes, a real man.
When the door to stall #4 slams, it opens the doors to stalls 1-3.
As long as we're talking about the stalls - why is there only one can of spray for 4 stalls?
Why is there only one plunger?
There's a rolling cart of feminine products hidden in personal make-up bags. On top of this cart is a basket of company supplied feminine products. Across from this cart is a machine to deposit your quarter for a feminine product but the machine has never worked. Guess that explains the basket...
I will say no more of the items I've seen in the toilets or wiped on the walls.
But I do wonder why the floor gets wet around the toilet in stall #3.
The one thing I really don't understand - the undersides of the toilet seats are stained yellow where they are over the water. The cleaning ladies say it's from the chemicals they use BUT those chemicals leave the toilet water a lovely shade of light blue. Hmmm?
Here's to 12 more years!
I never use the first stall in our bathroom. If someone is at the sink and they look to the right - they can see you, in all your glory, sitting on the pot.
A woman with red shoes who always chooses the first stall to sit on the pot, do her *business*, and have a lengthy conversation on her cell phone with someone in a foreign language.
The automatic air freshener that is so strong when you first walk in that you can taste it but it doesn't mask any odors.
A man. Yes, a real man.
When the door to stall #4 slams, it opens the doors to stalls 1-3.
As long as we're talking about the stalls - why is there only one can of spray for 4 stalls?
Why is there only one plunger?
There's a rolling cart of feminine products hidden in personal make-up bags. On top of this cart is a basket of company supplied feminine products. Across from this cart is a machine to deposit your quarter for a feminine product but the machine has never worked. Guess that explains the basket...
I will say no more of the items I've seen in the toilets or wiped on the walls.
But I do wonder why the floor gets wet around the toilet in stall #3.
The one thing I really don't understand - the undersides of the toilet seats are stained yellow where they are over the water. The cleaning ladies say it's from the chemicals they use BUT those chemicals leave the toilet water a lovely shade of light blue. Hmmm?
Here's to 12 more years!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
FRONT ROW
I've heard a lot of talk about this Front Row thing lately. It started when I caught a snippet while changing channels on the TV. I saw it again as an article from a religious magazine wanting me to subscribe. I had a friend mention it to me. I saw a quote from it in our church newsletter. I even had another friend who was leaving my company mention it to me on his last day at work. I couldn't take it anymore! I went on a surfing expedition to find out exactly what this whole FRONT ROW thing is all about.
FRONT ROW
Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is worthy of having a FRONT ROW seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships and family!
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life. Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
(thanks Oprah)
FRONT ROW
Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is worthy of having a FRONT ROW seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships and family!
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life. Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
(thanks Oprah)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Censorship
We all have these blogs now. We post our little blips that we think everyone wants to hear. We post news about our little families, little trips here and there, and our pictures of happy moments. We get excited as we find out more and more people are reading our happy little events. We send the links to our blogs out to everyone we know and we watch our blogrolls grow and grow. It's all fun and happiness - for most.
I have enjoyed having a blog. I've always tried to write from my heart and be honest with myself. I've shared my happy moments, my holidays, my photos, and I've shared some not so happy moments. I've shared the worst day of my life.
As time goes on, more people read, more people comment, I find myself holding back. I find that some people, though meaning well, don't comprehend the hurt that sometimes lies within a post and they say stupid shit. I find that some people try to read between the lines and look for hidden meanings within a post and they say stupid shit. I find myself being scared to write - again.
When I was living in my mother's house, there was no such thing as privacy. It was Edna's house and Edna had access to all. I liked to write when I was younger. Her house was not a home with praise or encouragement or pride in us kids. My writing was never encouraged. My writing was something Edna feared. She feared that I would 'lie' and she would look bad. As a result, every written word in Edna's house was taken and read by her. I started a story once, Edna found it while I was at school, she took it, and she read it. She screamed at me for hours but kept my papers. I found them again after moving back home in my early twenties. She wrote all over the pages with a red pen, making editor marks. She wrote in the margins - 'lies", "never happened", etc. I took those pages and I burned them upstairs in the bathroom sink. I never wrote again until I started this blog.
I hesitate to post a lot more than I used to. I hesitate to offend people. I fear that Edna will again find and banish my words. I'm afraid to come across as a sympathy seeker. Or an Ugh, she's posting about that again. Well folks - that's all about to change!
All that said...This is my blog. I don't force you to read it. From here on out, I am going to say what I have to say (no, I'm not going to do anything that's just plain mean about anyone -except maybe Edna). Talk about what I want to talk about. I don't care how you feel anymore. If you feel the need to call my mother and read to her from this blog, just remember there will be a special little corner in hell reserved just for you. From now on, I will talk about things as they meet my needs. I will probably repeat myself. I may even contradict myself a time or two but I'm done feeling censored. I'm in control of what I write - You are in control of what you read!
I have enjoyed having a blog. I've always tried to write from my heart and be honest with myself. I've shared my happy moments, my holidays, my photos, and I've shared some not so happy moments. I've shared the worst day of my life.
As time goes on, more people read, more people comment, I find myself holding back. I find that some people, though meaning well, don't comprehend the hurt that sometimes lies within a post and they say stupid shit. I find that some people try to read between the lines and look for hidden meanings within a post and they say stupid shit. I find myself being scared to write - again.
When I was living in my mother's house, there was no such thing as privacy. It was Edna's house and Edna had access to all. I liked to write when I was younger. Her house was not a home with praise or encouragement or pride in us kids. My writing was never encouraged. My writing was something Edna feared. She feared that I would 'lie' and she would look bad. As a result, every written word in Edna's house was taken and read by her. I started a story once, Edna found it while I was at school, she took it, and she read it. She screamed at me for hours but kept my papers. I found them again after moving back home in my early twenties. She wrote all over the pages with a red pen, making editor marks. She wrote in the margins - 'lies", "never happened", etc. I took those pages and I burned them upstairs in the bathroom sink. I never wrote again until I started this blog.
I hesitate to post a lot more than I used to. I hesitate to offend people. I fear that Edna will again find and banish my words. I'm afraid to come across as a sympathy seeker. Or an Ugh, she's posting about that again. Well folks - that's all about to change!
All that said...This is my blog. I don't force you to read it. From here on out, I am going to say what I have to say (no, I'm not going to do anything that's just plain mean about anyone -except maybe Edna). Talk about what I want to talk about. I don't care how you feel anymore. If you feel the need to call my mother and read to her from this blog, just remember there will be a special little corner in hell reserved just for you. From now on, I will talk about things as they meet my needs. I will probably repeat myself. I may even contradict myself a time or two but I'm done feeling censored. I'm in control of what I write - You are in control of what you read!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
From college to preschool
I met with an academic advisor at the college yesterday. It did go well. She'd like me to take a math class first (I HATE MATH!) on campus. Yeah - I think she missed the 10 times that I said I have an almost 3YO at home and my husband works nights!
The advisor gave me some study guides to take the placement exams. She'd like me to take these tests to see what courses I can test out of. There is no charge for the testing. Once I take the tests, and get more information on tuition reimbursement from my company, I'll decide if I'm going to further my education. Basically, if work won't pay it, I'm not doing it.
This morning, Jeremy, Jacob and I went to evaluate a preschool for Jacob. We're having a heck of a time figuring out where to send this kid next.
We've been working with Early On for almost a full year. They're fan-freaking-tastic! Jacob loves Alex and Miss Carrie. The problem here is once Jacob turns 3, Early On can't work with him any longer and he'll still need speech and occupational therapy. We've had to eliminate most of the preschools in our area as either Jacob's birthday is after the December 1 cut off or they only accept pottie trained kids. We basically have two choices. We either take Jacob in for drop-in therapy at the Intermediate School District or we take him to the EDCC preschool (don't ask me what those letters mean) where we went this morning.
I liked the school, the classroom, the teacher, the therapist - all that. But - wow! There are about 12 kids normally in this class. Ages 3 to 5. Of the 10 that were there today, I'd say about 2 of them made me wonder why they were there. The other 8 though, had obvious development issues. Most of the children were further behind than Jacob and older. There was one little boy that broke my heart. He came in late wearing a too small sweater and too short pants. His glasses, thicker than mine. I overheard the teacher say "They always bring him so late and he misses so much!" I do pray that he has parents who love him and are doing their best rather than the other alternative.
So, lots of news, lots of decisions to make, and lots of praying going on. Jeremy and I have a lot of talking to do, though his schedule doesn't allow for it right now. We'll keep you posted.
The advisor gave me some study guides to take the placement exams. She'd like me to take these tests to see what courses I can test out of. There is no charge for the testing. Once I take the tests, and get more information on tuition reimbursement from my company, I'll decide if I'm going to further my education. Basically, if work won't pay it, I'm not doing it.
This morning, Jeremy, Jacob and I went to evaluate a preschool for Jacob. We're having a heck of a time figuring out where to send this kid next.
We've been working with Early On for almost a full year. They're fan-freaking-tastic! Jacob loves Alex and Miss Carrie. The problem here is once Jacob turns 3, Early On can't work with him any longer and he'll still need speech and occupational therapy. We've had to eliminate most of the preschools in our area as either Jacob's birthday is after the December 1 cut off or they only accept pottie trained kids. We basically have two choices. We either take Jacob in for drop-in therapy at the Intermediate School District or we take him to the EDCC preschool (don't ask me what those letters mean) where we went this morning.
I liked the school, the classroom, the teacher, the therapist - all that. But - wow! There are about 12 kids normally in this class. Ages 3 to 5. Of the 10 that were there today, I'd say about 2 of them made me wonder why they were there. The other 8 though, had obvious development issues. Most of the children were further behind than Jacob and older. There was one little boy that broke my heart. He came in late wearing a too small sweater and too short pants. His glasses, thicker than mine. I overheard the teacher say "They always bring him so late and he misses so much!" I do pray that he has parents who love him and are doing their best rather than the other alternative.
So, lots of news, lots of decisions to make, and lots of praying going on. Jeremy and I have a lot of talking to do, though his schedule doesn't allow for it right now. We'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Back to School?
I was on my way to work Monday morning and I heard an ad on the radio for a local university. I thought to myself, 'Self, it might be the right time for you to go back to school'. I had a discussion with my manager on Monday as well. He was looking at training and goals for my yearly evaluation. He said to me "You know, a college course would look really good on here." and I said "Funny you should mention that."
I have an appointment with an advisor at that local university this afternoon.
If I can get all of the planets in alignment to my advantage, I will start taking classes for an Associate's degree in Business Management.
My company has tuition reimbursement, which will cover the cost. If I can get a 100% online course that takes place in the evening, I'll be all set. I love the idea of online courses! I'm terribly shy and HATE big groups of people that I don't already know.
I'm also not 'sold' on this school. If anyone has any ideas - I'd love to hear them.
I have an appointment with an advisor at that local university this afternoon.
If I can get all of the planets in alignment to my advantage, I will start taking classes for an Associate's degree in Business Management.
My company has tuition reimbursement, which will cover the cost. If I can get a 100% online course that takes place in the evening, I'll be all set. I love the idea of online courses! I'm terribly shy and HATE big groups of people that I don't already know.
I'm also not 'sold' on this school. If anyone has any ideas - I'd love to hear them.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Social Butterflies?
Jeremy and I have been entertaining ourselves with Facebook these days. We might need to get another computer!
I don't know how I got started with it but, it's been a lot of fun. A few old friends from high school have found me - one, I never in a million years would have expected to connect with again - and I keep adding to my list. I've added a few gizmos and gadgets here and there that I've been tagged on as well. I'm really enjoying making these connections again. I like the anticipation of opening my email and finding a friend request or even better, requesting someone I haven't talked to in years to be a friend or finding friends I thought I'd never see again.
Jeremy has been a lot more active with his than I. He's posting pictures and adding friends like a madman. He's found a few old friends too. I think he's enjoying it more than he'll ever say.
If you're out there, look us up!
I don't know how I got started with it but, it's been a lot of fun. A few old friends from high school have found me - one, I never in a million years would have expected to connect with again - and I keep adding to my list. I've added a few gizmos and gadgets here and there that I've been tagged on as well. I'm really enjoying making these connections again. I like the anticipation of opening my email and finding a friend request or even better, requesting someone I haven't talked to in years to be a friend or finding friends I thought I'd never see again.
Jeremy has been a lot more active with his than I. He's posting pictures and adding friends like a madman. He's found a few old friends too. I think he's enjoying it more than he'll ever say.
If you're out there, look us up!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Smart Mommy
I went to the eye doctor a few weeks ago, planning to make the switch back to glasses from contact lenses. At my appointment, the Doctor told me that if I hadn't already planned to go back to my glasses, he was going to encourage me to do so.
I've worn contact lenses since the 9th grade. I'm going to date myself here, and tell you that's been over 20 years! According to the eye doctor, my eyes have developed an allergic reaction to the material used in making contact lenses and I should give my eyes a break from them.
At work, when I'd wear my glasses, my friend Brian, would always ask me if I was feeling smarter. I'm a little vain when it comes to glasses and was very nervous about wearing them full-time. I picked up my new glasses last night and went to get Jacob from day-care, he looked at me, cocked his little head and pointed at my glasses. I couldn't resist asking him, "Does mommy look smart in her new glasses?" He gave me a big nod and said, "Nnnn-yeah!"
Later last night we were discussing if he wanted a "woo-woo (fire truck)" party or a "choo-choo" party for his upcoming birthday cake. He said "woo-woo par-tee!"
I said, "Yes, my son. As long as you think Mommy is smart, you can have anything you want!" I know my day is coming when he thinks I'm dumber than a box of rocks!
I've worn contact lenses since the 9th grade. I'm going to date myself here, and tell you that's been over 20 years! According to the eye doctor, my eyes have developed an allergic reaction to the material used in making contact lenses and I should give my eyes a break from them.
At work, when I'd wear my glasses, my friend Brian, would always ask me if I was feeling smarter. I'm a little vain when it comes to glasses and was very nervous about wearing them full-time. I picked up my new glasses last night and went to get Jacob from day-care, he looked at me, cocked his little head and pointed at my glasses. I couldn't resist asking him, "Does mommy look smart in her new glasses?" He gave me a big nod and said, "Nnnn-yeah!"
Later last night we were discussing if he wanted a "woo-woo (fire truck)" party or a "choo-choo" party for his upcoming birthday cake. He said "woo-woo par-tee!"
I said, "Yes, my son. As long as you think Mommy is smart, you can have anything you want!" I know my day is coming when he thinks I'm dumber than a box of rocks!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Obama in '08
My man won it!
Jacob went with us to "bote" last night. He was very excited. He sat beside me while I filled out my ballot and politely emptied the contents of my billfold all over the table. He kept asking "I bote?"
Yesterday morning, I asked Jacob, "Can you say 'Obama'?" He looked at me and said, "Ohh, Momma!" I think his daddy has been campaigning against me.
Jacob went with us to "bote" last night. He was very excited. He sat beside me while I filled out my ballot and politely emptied the contents of my billfold all over the table. He kept asking "I bote?"
Yesterday morning, I asked Jacob, "Can you say 'Obama'?" He looked at me and said, "Ohh, Momma!" I think his daddy has been campaigning against me.
Monday, November 3, 2008
"Did mommy scare the poop out of you?"
Some of you may know that we occasionally get books from Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. One of Jacob's favorites is The Gruffalo. Lately he is showing some fear of the dark, although he still wants mommy and daddy to take him in dark rooms and whisper to us that it's dark. Tonight we were all in the kitchen, Jacob looked outside and whispered "dark" while nodding his head. He then whispered over and over "Fuffalo(Gruffalo)". Mommy asked him if the Gruffalo was after him. He whispered "Yes." and started shivering and walking out of the kitchen. Mommy then disturbed the silence with a "BOO". Jacob started to whine and ran to mommy with arms out and said, in that same whiny voice "Poopie". After I was done laughing I asked "Jacob, did mommy scare the poop out of you?". While giving mommy a big hug he said "Yes."
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Thank You
Whew! I'm so glad this week is over.
Em, Kate, Matt, and Michelle - Thank you so, so much, for your thoughts, prayers, emails, support, and the beautiful flowers. I don't know what I would have done this past week without your encouragement! Thank you for being here for me when I needed you most.
Karen and Gloria - Thank you both for your emails. And the compliments on my writing. You both gave me different perspectives and different views. The post about Valerie was the hardest thing I have ever written. I hope I brought you back to some of your wonderful memories of our sister, instead of the pain from one of the worst days of our lives. We all went through the same thing at the same time but we all have different memories of the events from those three days. Though, I did cry like a big old baby, I was glad you took the time to share your memories and your hurt with me. Thank you.
David - Thank you for the note you left on my desk last week. I don't have the words to tell you how important your words were to me. I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings. I'm sorry for hurting yours but, I'm not sorry I was angry. You may not always be my favorite brother, and I'm sure this won't be the last time I ever get angry with you. There isn't anything you can do about it- whether you like it or not, you'll always be my only brother.
Jeremy - my best friend, the only one allowed to see me at my most vulnerable. Always the one to pick up the pieces and put me back together again. Thank you so much for being here for me, for catching all of my tears. I'm still very glad it's you!
I'm very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. It's all UP hill from here! :)
Em, Kate, Matt, and Michelle - Thank you so, so much, for your thoughts, prayers, emails, support, and the beautiful flowers. I don't know what I would have done this past week without your encouragement! Thank you for being here for me when I needed you most.
Karen and Gloria - Thank you both for your emails. And the compliments on my writing. You both gave me different perspectives and different views. The post about Valerie was the hardest thing I have ever written. I hope I brought you back to some of your wonderful memories of our sister, instead of the pain from one of the worst days of our lives. We all went through the same thing at the same time but we all have different memories of the events from those three days. Though, I did cry like a big old baby, I was glad you took the time to share your memories and your hurt with me. Thank you.
David - Thank you for the note you left on my desk last week. I don't have the words to tell you how important your words were to me. I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings. I'm sorry for hurting yours but, I'm not sorry I was angry. You may not always be my favorite brother, and I'm sure this won't be the last time I ever get angry with you. There isn't anything you can do about it- whether you like it or not, you'll always be my only brother.
Jeremy - my best friend, the only one allowed to see me at my most vulnerable. Always the one to pick up the pieces and put me back together again. Thank you so much for being here for me, for catching all of my tears. I'm still very glad it's you!
I'm very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. It's all UP hill from here! :)
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