I don't wanna be a brown dog, mommy...

is what Jacob would say if he could.

I got a fantastic deal on an adorable brown dog costume for Jacob. It's furry enough to keep him warm, yet has plenty of vent holes to keep from being too warm, has a curly little tail and droopy ears. In typical two year old fashion, he HATES it! Loathes, despises, detests, screams and cries if he has to even look at this costume! I tried to put it on him and he screamed and flailed before I could even zip it up. So, I took it off of him, went to the computer, clicked on the freecycle.com link and posted it "OFFER: 2T brown dog Halloween costume". The brown dog went to another little boy who's Daddy is now home from Iraq and his mommy got an even better deal than I did-free. Hopefully, this little boy wants to be a brown dog!

After the brown dog trauma/drama, Jeremy and are were left to "so, now what's he gonna be?"...and hmm, so are you!

See you Wednesday!

To the pumpkin patch

This is from last year's trip to Gene the Pumpkin Man.







And this is from this year.

(Daddy was checking out the power lines over the pumpkin patch - he didn't know about the hum they make)


Same pumpkin, bigger kid.

We took our 2nd annual trip to see Gene the Pumpkin Man today. This link takes you to a little story about how he got started as the The Pumpkin Man. http://www.vegetablegrowersnews.com/pages/arts.php?ns=112). This was his 50 year anniversary in the pumpkin business. He's nothing fancy but everything is orange. The only difference from last year was the addition of "50 years" stickers on anything that didn't move. You drive into his driveway, up the hill and park on his lawn. When you get out of your vehicle, you pick your orange wagon or orange wheelbarrow and proceed to roam through this man's front and back yard which is sectioned in groups of pumpkins. You pick your pumpkins and put them in your wagon. He also sells, squash, gourds, straw, Indian corn, honey, and even corn stalks. Once you have made your selections, you pull your orange wagon to the man wearing an orange flannel shirt with an orange cowboy hat, who is sitting on an orange milk can with an orange tractor seat welded onto it, you give him your money in exchange for the contents of your wagon, he laughs and jokes with you a little bit and warmly thanks you for coming.

Like I said, it's nothing fancy, I guess it's the small town girl inside, wanting to help out the little man. As we were walking back to the car, with Jacob in tow, crying "I want", he wanted to go in the big pumpkin again, I couldn't help but think about the Gene the Pumpkin Man and the little business he had here and I felt a little sad as I wondered how many more years I would have before this tradition ends, maybe we should go back to the big pumpkin one more time.

You asked for it

Some of us are early birds when it comes to shopping and I have been asked a few times about Jacob's interests as his birthday and Christmas are coming soon. I'm not soliciting, begging, requiring, demanding, manipulating, or any other malicious description you can think of me, I'm simply telling you what he's into, what he has, and giving some ideas should you need them...because I've been asked!

• Go Diego Go! - We got him the My Talking Rescue Pack and Rescue Adventures Diego. He is head-over for Diego.
• Wooden Puzzles (with the knobs on the pcs.) - likes the sound ones, letters, #'s, or colors, would be great
• Board Books - again, he likes the ones that make sounds
• Cars, Trucks, and Airplanes (like a Little People plane) - Please, not metal
• Building Blocks - he likes to stack stuff, he does have Duplos
• Dusty the Vacuum
• He's still in a 2T for clothing - could use 3T sweatshirts though.

Please, ask me if you're not sure about something. I don't want you to have to return or exchange and I promise I won't tell him! Thanks so much, for thinking of him!

Friends VS. Family

Being a friend is to like a person for who they are, even the parts you don't understand. The reasons you like them makes the things you don't understand unimportant. You don't have to understand, or do the same, or live their lives for them. If you truly care for them, then you want them to be who they are; that was why you liked them in the first place.

I'm a person of few true friends. I can probably count them on one hand. Some I see everyday, some it's been months, and one has even been a few years.

It strikes me as odd though - friendship does. Think about it a minute, you meet someone through school, through work, at a bar, from a friend of a friend, and you spend time together, have some laughs, share stories, help each other through hard times - all the friend things. You come to trust this person, you trust them through your smiles, through your tears, through your accomplishments and even through your failures. If you're a good friend, you do the same for them in return. There's nothing tying you to this person, the bond you share can be severed at anytime, yet you come to trust them with your...everything.

I look at my friends and I love them all. They have all taken time for me, thought of me, patiently waited for me to open up and let them in. I think I've done a pretty good job of reciprocating as well - I hope I do. I hope my friends know how thankful I am to have them.

I'm thankful for my family too. Family - the people you are tied to for your whole life. No matter what, you can't change the biology. You can't escape them, it's not a choice. I don't know my family very well. Result of being a "whoops" - the child born after the other kids are grown and leaving. When I was old enough to build relationships, my sisters were building their own families. They didn't/they don't owe me anything. I don't ask for anything in return.

I look at my family and I love them all. I'm sure they wouldn't believe me but, I do. My mom, goofy as she is, she's the only one I've got. My Dad, I miss my Dad, I miss my Dad a lot - I'm sorry I was so young that I couldn't see past his illness to enjoy what I time I had left with him. My sisters, all three of them...each so unique in their abilities, and their talents, their intelligence. My brother, always the advisor, the guidance counselor. My nieces and nephews, that I am so proud of for their accomplishments again as unique as they are. They're my family - couldn't change it...wouldn't change it.

It's odd though that the bond of family which is unbreakable takes the most work to maintain, contains so much anger, hurt, and jealousy, while friendship, which is essentially a choice just comes naturally. Why can't we treat our family as we do our friends? Why is that?

and I talked to her again.

Amber did get a call from her Doctor. The freaky ultrasound technician reported to the Doctor that Amber didn't have enough amniotic fluid. Amber went in to the Doctor for another ultrasound and everything is just fine! He measured the fluid in all four quadrants and there is plenty for the baby to swim around in. No worries. (I've never been pregnant - how do I know this?)

Amber did say she had a 3-D ultrasound done as well and got to see the baby's little nose, hands, and ears. She said the baby is perfect and awfully cute. Hmm!?! If she looks anything like her big brother, I'm sure she's too cute for words.

I've really enjoyed talking to her these past weeks though. It reminds me so much of when she was pregnant with Jacob...She tried to include me in as much as she could - I made her nervous by being nervous. I trusted her completely the whole time, I mean she's his first Mommy, the one other person in the world who loves him as unconditionally as we do. It's a little bittersweet, I guess, being in this spot again, feeling all of this with her again. I'm able to tell Jacob the story of his birth, the story of his adoption, and about his first mommy - I don't regret any part, any moment. I'm glad I can hold his history for him. I sometimes wonder if she's preparing me to be able to do that again.

On an up note, Jacob is finally calling me "Momma"! All this time, I have been "Da", which is what he calls Jeremy. If you ask him, "Where's Momma?", he'll point to me, but, when he calls for me, or looks at pictures, he's always called me "Da". We came home from the sitter's last night and I put him in his carseat, he gave me a kiss and "mmm Momma" is what he said. He said it a few more times last night. This morning, Jeremy went to get him from his crib and we heard him, a few times, a distinct , "Momma!". It's about dang time!

I talked to Amber

Sunday, was my day on the phone. I put Jacob down for a nap just before noon and as I putting him in his bed, the phone rang. It was my mom, whom I hadn't talked to in a little over a month. I talked to her for about 2 hours and Jeremy's mom beeped in on the call waiting. I talked to her for about a half an hour and then Amber beeped in.

Amber is doing okay. She's not as sick as she had been. She and Rob are getting things together for Nevaeh. They bought a bassinet and were looking for some clothes for her.

Amber did go for an ultrasound last week and she said it was really strange. She said the technician wouldn't turn the monitor towards her. She just clicked and took measurements, a few times she turned the monitor toward Amber to show her when Nevaeh would cover her face with her hands (brother Jacob did that a lot too). The technician finished up and told Amber she'd get the results from her Doctor. She said it was unlike any other ultrasound she's had - I guess she'd know. She's supposed to see her Doctor this week and I asked her to let me know what he says. They're saying Nevaeh is small, very small for gestation - which is a normal side effect of the prescription Amber was taking at the time of conception.

I also talked to her a little about the risk with this pregnancy. Amber stayed with us for a couple of months when Jacob was about 6 months old. She had a blood clot in her shoulder, in her leg, and by her heart. She needed in-home care and didn't have a home at the time so we let her stay with us. To reduce the clots and prevent future clots, her Doctor prescribed Coumadin. They don't know what this will do when the baby is delivered as it is a blood thinner making the risk of her bleeding to death after delivery very high, even though she isn't taking it anymore. Coumadin causes great risk to the unborn child, low birth weight, birth defects, spontaneous abortion, and even stillbirth. They highly advise you not to become pregnant while taking Coumadin and advise termination of the pregnancy. As we know, Amber doesn't use birth control - however, the original cause of the blood clots was a birth control patch.

I'm still not sure what road the Lord is steering us down. I'm not sure of the lesson I'm being taught through this. I don't know that I'll ever get an answer. I'm still praying for the will of God. I'm still praying for guidance and for strength. I'm trying to be there for Amber when she needs to talk. All in all, I'm still trying to avoid letting myself want this child while wanting everyone to be okay. I'm not sure what else I can do...

We went North but, not that far North

This weekend went by too fast! Saturday, we headed up to Rivertown Crossings for the afternoon. We paid $5 to rent a car stroller for the little man and we were off to explore. We did pick a good day to go, the temp. on the way home was in the low 90's. Jacob thoroughly enjoyed the stroller which had a little steering wheel for him to spin. He also learned how to drink through a straw on this trip. Jeremy and I stopped for an Orange Julius and of course, had to share with JJ. We had all of the momma and daddy fanfare for learning something new in the middle of the mall. At one point I looked at Jeremy and said, "What dorks we are...all proud cuz our kid can drink from a straw!" We walked the length of the mall and back on both levels before heading back out into the heat.

Jacob has a new obsession with airplanes and he thinks Jeremy and I can make them fly over on command. He has thrown tantrums on the sidewalk after our failure to produce results. After leaving the mall, we decided that security was too tight at the airport in Grand Rapids so we'd try our local airport. Wouldn't you know it, the one day we decide to go up there, not a single airplane, in or out? They did have a very big snowplow though and JJ and daddy gave it the once over. I watched them there, at the airport, and just took my own time to think by myself.

Funny the occasions I think of my father now I'm a parent, now that he's gone - funny the things I thought I had forgotten about him. I remember many afternoons (or after dark to watch them with the lights) heading out, in the green Chevy, to Blacker Airport (it didn't look like that then!!) with my dad to watch a plane take off or land. I don't know how it happened and it amazes me everyday how many things my son loves to do that my dad loved to do. Airplanes, cars, boats, and just watching the river flow. I only hope the kid learns to like the Cardinals, not the Cubs! Sorry, Dad. I don't think I can let you have that one without a fight! There are so so many times, I wish my dad was here with him though. They say one spirit dies so another can be born and either way, I know he's just smiling at his grandson wishing he were here, with him, too.

Somewhere between the mall and the airport, Jeremy and I decided we needed to cook the rack of ribs in our freezer for dinner. We did discuss on the way home from the mall our preferences for ribs. We both like a wet sauce opposed to a dry rub. We both like cooked over flame rather than baked and neither of us like dark, smokey sauce. We also agreed to trying ribs on our trip to St. Louis next year. All the times we have been there, we have never gone for ribs. After the airport, I pulled the ribs from the freezer and pried the frozen meat from the plastic and Styrofoam to get them boiling on the stove. Once Jacob was in bed, Jeremy got them out onto the grill. As much as I hate Jeremy's job and the time he spends away from home, I honestly can say - It is a good thing, to have a husband who can cook steaks to order and knows how to grill up some ribs! They were FAN-freaking-TASTIC! I think it was the quietest meal we've had, no talking -just eating. I fried up some cabbage and boiled some more with milk and butter - just like my mom used to do - and we watched some TV and tried to get the ribs out of our teeth for the rest of the night.

The chaos dwindles for all except Jacob

Jacob: Has entered the terrible two stage. It's terrible. He's throwing things, throwing fits, biting, pulling hair, he won't eat, and is just plain mean these days. You tell him "No!" and he laughes. He's even banging his head on the kitchen floor. Jeremy picked him up from day-care yesterday and asked how Jay behaved - "He was a Brat!", She said. Hmpf! I felt so badly for her. He's also drooling like a faucet making me think he's working on his last set of molars. Don't get me wrong, he still has moments where I see my sweet little boy peek out of this monster child - usually when he's asleep. They tell me 3 is much better than 2. I hope they're right!

Jeremy: Jeremy has a new boss coming up in the next couple of weeks. The previous took a position at a different location. Jeremy did apply to fill her spot however, someone else did too and they have more experience so were given the opportunity. It's okay. Jeremy is still going to advance and will be working to improve his knowledge and experience for future opportunities...as they call them. We are waiting to meet the new boss and welcome him to the west side!

Amber: We haven't heard from her. I haven't called her either. I don't typically call her. I don't want to get too attached -maybe not the right word - but I don't want to change the relationship as I don't want her to think I'm only around wanting this child. I'm assuming that no news is good news but, I will post again when I do hear from her.

Me: I finally had a long awaited meeting with my manager. I had the chance to ask some things and hear some things. I got my little pat on the back, gave him one and feel much better about my job, my position and reporting structure. I really do work for a great boss. We just forget that we need to talk once in a while. Being October, my workload should gradually get lighter until after Christmas when it'll go full force again.

Murray: Poor little dog who seems to be the topic of conversation lately. We are talking of having him take the one way trip to the vet. We know he doesn't see well. He's had some pottie accidents in the house - I don't tolerate that too well. More worrisome though - he's been darting out the door, snarling and growling. He snapped the neighbor girl. He chased after and snipped at a little boy (5 or 6) from down the street - I was there when it happened - not the kids fault at all! We have been a lot more careful not to leave him outside alone anymore. It makes us really nervous when people stop and ask "Can I pet your dog?", especially little kids.

Our little family: Jeremy finally has this Saturday off. It's been a long time coming. So long that we don't know what to do with ourselves. I think we're heading off to the big mall...it's been a long time since we have gone together. Or maybe we'll nix that idea and head north. I imagine the homeland is on fire with color - it's been along time since I've seen that too. North to Sleeping Bear Dunes, Glen Arbor. I guess you'll find out next week.