Uncertainty. We all live with it. Some of us have more than others. I don't like it but, I do know that there is still plenty of uncertainty to come into and remain in our lives. Jacob is growing everyday. I'm uncertain he'll grow into a good man, like his daddy. I hope so but, I'm uncertain. I'm uncertain as to whether we want to try (again) to conceive a biological child or leave the blessing of another child in God's hands, where we put it before Jacob was born. I'm uncertain if I can handle the emotional pain of another miscarriage. Uncertain of a lot of things.
One of us, I can't name which one, as too many of our co-workers read this site, has a job interview this week. It's a step up from the job we have now but, with a different company. It's probably a better paying job, with better benefits, as well as additional benefits. Enter uncertainty...It's a longer commute. It's more hours. It's all new people. It's in a different city. Will it be enough money for the other to quit their job to be home with Jacob, or maybe work part time? Will Jacob spend more time in day-care? What if we get into this job, and we don't like it? So, here we are, under this cloud of uncertainty...again - or is it still? Waiting to make another decision as to the direction our lives are going to take. Completely uncertain of what lies ahead.
Uncertainty. I guess, it's here to stay. Wanted or not. In some way, or so I'm told, all of our questions will be answered...all in due time. I hate that phrase!
I hate it, too. It really isn't much comfort, when you're living in an uncertain environment. It's hard not to know how things will pan out. It's scary, and we always fret that we'll make the wrong decision. And wonder how that decision will affect other areas of our lives. It's all so tightly intertwined. Even though it can be difficult to know what the right decision is, I am a proponent of following your heart. I wish you guys all the best during this time.
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