Time

Time. Something so big in such a small word. It's my time to put some thoughts in here.

Where has the time gone? The summer is almost over. Like every summer there seems to be a list of things that we didn't get to, or didn't go do because we always had more time to get it done. It's amazing how fleeting that can be.

It was just last week when I met Gail, it was just yesterday when I held Jacob for the first time. Now, We've been married for over five years, and Jacob is almost two. Wow! I still remember when I was young, all the "old people" would tell me how fast time would go by. I thought they were full of crap. It was 1988, I was a junior in high school. I had a whole year til I graduated, let alone getting to the turn of the century. I was still looking forward to partying like it's 1999. But what happened? Time. I graduated, I got a job. Then time took off. It's so hard to believe how long time is when you are young and how short it is when you get older.

I love my family, I love my life. I just wish there was more time.

Uncertainty - I hate that word!

Uncertainty. We all live with it. Some of us have more than others. I don't like it but, I do know that there is still plenty of uncertainty to come into and remain in our lives. Jacob is growing everyday. I'm uncertain he'll grow into a good man, like his daddy. I hope so but, I'm uncertain. I'm uncertain as to whether we want to try (again) to conceive a biological child or leave the blessing of another child in God's hands, where we put it before Jacob was born. I'm uncertain if I can handle the emotional pain of another miscarriage. Uncertain of a lot of things.

One of us, I can't name which one, as too many of our co-workers read this site, has a job interview this week. It's a step up from the job we have now but, with a different company. It's probably a better paying job, with better benefits, as well as additional benefits. Enter uncertainty...It's a longer commute. It's more hours. It's all new people. It's in a different city. Will it be enough money for the other to quit their job to be home with Jacob, or maybe work part time? Will Jacob spend more time in day-care? What if we get into this job, and we don't like it? So, here we are, under this cloud of uncertainty...again - or is it still? Waiting to make another decision as to the direction our lives are going to take. Completely uncertain of what lies ahead.

Uncertainty. I guess, it's here to stay. Wanted or not. In some way, or so I'm told, all of our questions will be answered...all in due time. I hate that phrase!

Happy Birthday Sister!

Today is my sister Gloria's (she's #3) birthday. This was taken on Mt. Hood in Oregon.

Gloria is my go anywhere, do anything, experience as much as she can, sister. The free-spirit of the bunch. I won't tell you the number but, I will say there is a 15 year difference. She is mom to Erophili, and Jaz(z). They live in Southern Ohio. She is a respiratory therapist at a hospital in Columbus (with all those Ohio State fans, ugh!). She has traveled all over the US. She's lived in Greece. Speaks some Greek. She's been to Rome. Countless other places, I'm sure I don't know them all. She can play the guitar and she sings too!

Gloria gave me most of my adventures. I tagged along with her to Traverse City, Kentucky, Oregon, and Washington. I was with her the first time I ever flew on a plane. I met a lot of great people, Cindy, Lisa, Rea, and my oldest - in time, not age, friend Emily and there are many more.

My favorite memories with Gloria are the times when she'd play her guitar and sing either Mr. Bojangles or Return to Pooh Corner, climbing on the rocks at the end of the 1st Street break wall, and riding the 3 wheel bikes in Oregon - she lost her glasses that time, instead of her keys! Oh, remember the hermit - shoot, that 's all I can remember him by - and I got a bloody nose. Ah, and the fire tower on Mt. Ranier, the blueness of Crater Lake, Haystack Rock, the redwoods, and the ice and snow on the shores of Lake Michigan in the winter...

Thank you for all of the memories, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Pictures from July 4

This is our favorite picture from July 4, 2006. My nephew, Chris (Karen's son), the policeman, and Jacob at the fireworks in Manistee. So much excitement, Jacob couldn't take it.

These are all from our trip to Manistee for July 4, 2007.

Yes, JJ is crying. He wanted to walk all by himself but Momma was too scared he'd get too close to the edge. We fought all the way down the pier and all the way back!

The catwalk, pier, and Lake Michigan at Manistee.

with Aunt Karen

Feeding the camel - No, Jay didn't like it.

Matt, the oldest grandson (Cindy's), and Jacob, the youngest.

Jeremy and Jacob on Fifth Avenue beach.

Jeremy, Jacob, and the fountain on River Street in Manistee.

Comments

When I created this, I set it up so you would have to register to comment. I have taken that out. If we get too much junk, I'll put it back. Don't be shy, the comment section is for you to communicate back to us. Thanks to those who have commented and given encouragement to keep this going.

Missaukee County Park, Falmouth, McBain, and the Clam River

This past Saturday, Jeremy, Jacob, and I went to the Elenbaas family reunion at Missaukee County Park, near Cadillac. My brother, David, his wife, Jennifer, and their daughter, Brooke rode up with us.

To my sisters and my brother, those names above are very familiar, I remember little bits here and there. I really enjoy going up there with my brother, he's kept so much of my dad's history, all of the stuff that I missed, being so far behind everyone when dad was sick. David took us to Eble's grocery store in Falmouth, the beef jerky was fantastic, not to mention the savoriness of the aromas coming from their smokehouse out back - and they sell bacon there - by the slab! He took us by the trailer dad's siblings owned, where they'd play cards for what seemed forever. We went past the golf course that an uncle managed for many years. My brother telling about the time he deposited a golf cart into the pond. I too, remember that pond but, by that time we weren't allowed anywhere near a golf cart. We spent many an afternoon fishing golf balls out of that pond. We crossed the Clam River a few times, where dad loved to fish. He knew that river like the back of his hand - except for the time he fell in a hole and was stabbed in the behind with a stick. We passed many of Houston's fields, where dad taught my brother the art of trespassing. Dad was caught on Houston's property so many times, that Mr. Houston once took his boots and my Grandpa Elenbaas had to take dad back to get them from Mr. Houston. We drove by the house where dad lived, the house that Grandpa moved to when he married Grandma Ann in McBain, we drove by the smallest chapel - it might seat 6 (where I dreamed I would marry Jason L.), though the rolling green hills, that smelled like cow pooh. Somehow, this tour never gets old.

Jacob got to swim in Missaukee Lake with his Momma and Daddy, Aunt Jen, cousins, Matt and Brooke, just as I did when I was little, with my own cousins. My Aunt Edith, dad's oldest sister, told us that when they were kids, they went swimming once a year, and when they did, they came to Missaukee Lake. Of course, we forgot the camera but, Jacob had a great time in the water. The first time he didn't cry.

A cousin of my dad's was there from Wisconsin. They took one look at Jacob and said "That one is Wilbur's. He looks so much like Wilbur!" I smiled, tried to hold back tears, and thanked them. Of course, all of the Aunts and Uncles agreed and I heard the same phrase many, many, times, that day. Another chapter in my book - This was Meant to Be.

We saw my Aunt Edith, Uncle Art & Aunt Mae, Uncle Harold & Aunt Pat, Aunt Dorothy, Uncle Ray and Aunt Angie and I hope to see them again next year. I have a picture of all 9 of them together when dad was at Orchard Hill. I'll add it to this post soon (I have some others to share too). I know, as most of them get older and pass on, the tradition of this reunion will end. It makes me sad to know that but, our generation doesn't make the same effort they do. Jacob is the only one of our kids, who won't have met his Grandpa Web but, his momma didn't really know him either. I rely on my big brother (sisters too) to teach my son and I about the Grandpa he never knew and the father I never knew. He got a pretty good start this Saturday and his momma got a pretty good refresher.

Tough

My friend, Jen, told me yesterday, that I wasn't as tough as she had thought, as she'd never seen me cry before. I started thinking about that word...tough. Then I wondered, what it really meant.

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines tough:

1 a: strong or firm in texture but flexible and not brittle b: not easily chewed
2: glutinous, sticky
3: characterized by severity or uncompromising determination
4: capable of enduring strain, hardship, or severe labor
5: very hard to influence : stubborn
6: difficult to accomplish, resolve, endure, or deal with
7: stubbornly fought
8: unruly, rowdyish
9: marked by absence of softness or sentimentality

I never really thought the word tough was a description of me but, I never looked it up to find the true meaning of the word. I guess in some ways it does describe me. I do have uncompromising determination, I am capable of enduring strain and hardship, I have labored to accomplish myself, and to get to where I am. I am hard to influence, I am stubborn - I have to be (I buy from salespeople - everyday). Sometimes, yes, I'm even hard to deal with. These things are true. I do like "tough" a lot better than some other words I have heard others use describe me in last few weeks. Words like: spoiled, manipulative, selfish, witch, and I'm sure there are many more that I haven't heard. I don't agree that I am marked by a lack of softness or sentimentality though. I won't ever be weak but, I do have a heart, it does hurt, and I do cry, more often then I'll ever show you. Tough, tough is a pretty good description of me. I do prefer words like determined, reserved, guarded, and shielded to describe me but, those words are behaviors that are learned, learned from being tough. Or at least trying to be.

Welcome to technology, Harper Family!

We stopped to visit Jeremy's mom Tuesday and she mentioned that she didn't have any recent pictures of Jacob so, we went home, emailed some, and I thought to myself, "well, if she doesn't have any recent pictures, neither does Aunt Karen, Great-Grandpa, Great-Aunt Patti, Paul and Kumiko, and ...." Then I started thinking, "I can't even remember what I've told who anymore about Jacob, work, the house, and all the other things that consume our lives"...which brought us here, blogging in the 21st century!

As Jeremy reminds me, emails and writings are not the same as actual conversation. I typically speak rather frankly. We're not writing to offend, to pick on, to point out faults, to brag, or any other malicious behavior. This blog was created simply to keep in touch with everyone, unload, share our thoughts, experiences and photos. We know everyone won't like what they read here all of the time, or interpret our words as we meant them or care to view the photos we have shared. Please, keep in mind while reading our thoughts, statements, experiences, and photos, that they are nothing more than OUR thoughts, statements, experiences, and photos. The things that make us just...Us.

So, that said, bookmark us, check us out once in awhile, even leave a comment or two...we'll be waiting.