41

I think I hit the ground running after vacation.  I'm pretty sure I've paused now.

I'm 41.

The week going into 41 was horrible.  Probably one of the worst weeks of my life.   I was going to work early every day so I could get home for Jeremy to go to work every day - 6 days for him that week - only one day off.  We came home, had to stop for a moron that hit a deer, maimed it and drove off, waited for the sheriff to come, peed in some strangers bathroom while waiting for the sheriff,  hurry like hell home, unpack the car, take showers, change clothes, ran to a graduation party, unpack every thing we unpacked, did laundry, worked, shuffled our kid, got a new roof (that's now leaking), the washing machine died, bought a new one, I had to come home one day and work here so Jeremy could go in, we had company both weekends (don't misunderstand - I loved that!) and had an anniversary party on the night of my birthday knowing Jeremy couldn't go with me!  With zero celebration of my birthday together.  Jacob and I stopped to see Jeremy for lunch and my order was even wrong.  I cried in the restaurant. Everything was wrong.  Holy Shit!  Can I pack anything else into that shitty fucking week!?!

Did I mention the lack of sleep last week?   Most every night I was up past midnight and awake for work by 5/6 AM.  All week. Plus the sleep I missed on vacation (how about all the emails I answered at 2/3 AM - on vacation).  Friday night I was so wound up, I took 3 nighttime acetaminophen and...it was after 1:30AM the last I saw the clock. I was up at out of bed by 7:30.

By the time I got to my brother's party, which I knew was the last thing I had to do for the week, I was done.  Burned out.  Brain fried.  I was an emotional disaster!  My sister-in-law is one of those people who you hug and you just don't want to let go...I hugged her that night and it all just fell out!  The tears just ran and ran! With every hug, they ran a little harder.  My brother, my sisters - more and more tears.  Ugh!  I should have stayed home!  No, I'm glad I went.  I'm so sorry I worried everyone.  I'm ok.   

I did finally sleep Saturday night after the party. I slept hard.  I knew that was my end.  The end of an awful week. The end of being 40.  

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. True. Turning 41 wasn't the best birthday I'd ever had.  And that's ok.  Maybe you shouldn't cry on your birthday     But. I felt more loved and more cared for on this birthday. I saw almost all of my siblings again this birthday.  And my son took me out to lunch.  Sometimes, we need to experience the not-so-good to see all the good we do have.  

Here's to 41.  

Ludington Vacation Day 5:

I got my wish.  I wanted one rainy day on this vacation. One day to be lazy, to read, to have family time and this was the day. The most inconvenient day for it to happen but, I did get my wish.  You see, I've been waiting for years, YEARS to get Jeremy and Jacob down to watch a big ship come through Manistee.  I used to watch with my dad and well...when you see just how close we are to Algoway here, you'll understand.

My favorite spot for watching was empty. We had waited over an hour for her to get underway.  It was raining and the three of us were quite wet.  But, this is my favorite shot - when her bow just peeks out from the bend.

And the bridge starts to open.

Almost there.

Coming through!

This pair of ducks swam across the channel just a little before the ship came through.  Jacob was a little nervous they wouldn't make it 

My boys and their first ship!

There were a few deckhands moving about and Jacob waved to them all, calling out "Have a safe trip!". Every one of them waved back and shouted 'hello'. They're so close you can see them smiling!

So much to see and take in.  I'm so thankful to those of you who helped me make this happen!

Have you ever seen a waterlogged porcupine living on the beach?

Also on this trip, my son got his very first Big Al's pizza.  Look at the excitement on that face!

Momma and daddy got one too!  Yum!

And our brown dog, she stayed warm and dry in our cabin.  She missed us so much though, she made sure to secure her spot in my bed for the night!

Ludington Vacation Day 4:

Quiet day today. Jacob and the kids finally got a chance to get in the lake and swim in the morning. I didn't have a camera with me.  :(

Big Daddy went out fishing and caught his first pike!  He went back into the lake as he had a little more growing up to do! The pike, not Daddy!

Jacob took a boat ride in the evening while we just hung out in the lawn chairs. There was a lot of that done today!

I did have to take a run into town and saw this beauty on our road.  She didn't spook.  Just watched my every move.

Only a few more days here.  I'm enjoying the unplanned, unscheduledness of this week. It has been nice to not have to make any decisions, attend any meetings,  worry about bedtimes or anyone getting to school on time. It's good to just be and enjoy!

Ludington Vacation Day 3:

We woke up this morning with no plans for the day.  A quick Facebook post from my nephew changed it all!  The freighter Manitowoc that we had missed coming into Manistee was due to head out of Ludington around noon. We loaded up three of the kids and went into town.

Growing up in Manistee, watching these huge ships come in/go out was almost just a regular thing.  I didn't realize how special it was until I left!

When we got there she was still unloading.  Jacob and the others watched for a bit but, you know...this need for immediate results in these kids is rather ahem...annoying.  10 minutes = "It's hot.  Can we go?"

I blabbed off some little tidbit facts I somehow managed to hang onto over the decades of NOT watching while she finished unloading.

She almost headed straight for us!

 

On the way out!

After nearly boring them to death with the ship, the kids wanted to head to the local children's museum.

Sandcastles. Get it?

It was one of the better children's museums we have visited.

An exhibit of the car ferry - the Badger.

And a real airplane!

Kelsey did a lot of this:

She's enjoying the fresh air, lots of walks and all the treats and kisses from the kids.  They have a "all dogs must be leashed" rule here and she HATES it!  At home, she roams the yard with us in freedom. She not used be leashed or tied  all the time.  :(

Speaking of treats and not used to...these are on ice for tonight. 

For use here tomorrow night.

Every night has ended with our group around the little fire pit.  Some nights bursting with laughter, some a little somber.  It's good to be together, our family. Jeremy and I are settled, not running off in different directions - now it's Jacob always running off to play.  It's good. I'm glad we came up to do this. 

Ludington Vacation Day 2:

Day 2 started with a walk to the lake - too chilly for us to swim but our brown water dog retrieved the stick a few times just like she was born to do!

We had a birthday in our group yesterday and with a few hiccups (involving a blown radiator hose, a tow truck, and a slight repair job - not to either of our vehicles!) managed to surprise her with a cake.  I LOVE to be a part of those shenanigans!

We also checked off one thing on our to -do list on Day 2.  Lunch/ice cream at House of Flavors (a local establishment).

Jeremy and Jacob split the Hot Fudge Brownie Sundae and I opted for a scoop of carrot cake ice cream (cream cheese flavored ice cream with chunks of carrot cake).  Yum!

Jacob and his sundae.

And they're done!

Kelsey enjoying her outside time.  So much to see, smell and bark at!

As I mentioned yesterday, we have The World's Smallest Shower.  Jeremy was kind enough to back in and show you just how small.  

All this and still plenty of time to relax!  :)

Ludington Vacation Day 1:

We finished baseball season with funday, packed up both vehicles - one with all of our stuff and the other with the kid, the dog, and me and trekked off to Ludington.  Kelsey paced the car for most of the trip and every 10 miles or so Jacob asks "How much longer?"  Lucky Daddy was alone in his car!

After settling into our cabin which will always be remembered for having the World's Smallest Shower, we made a list of things we needed from town.  On the way back, Jacob saw smoke from the car ferry and since we're on vacation and we missed the freighter in Manistee earlier, we parked and watched the Badger go out.  

I'm looking forward to this week. Lots of R&R on our schedule, a few things I hope we can do - I hope that work out to do.  Mostly, I just hope we have a week we remember - and not only for The World's Smallest Shower!

It really does take a village...

The old African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child".  You can read more about this proverb here.

I'm sitting here feeling guilty because I nor Daddy could accompany Jacob on his field trip today.  I know not all moms and dads can make it to everything but I, being the child whose parents NEVER volunteered, always promised myself I'd make it to most everything and contribute as much support as I can.  And I do. For the very first time, I couldn't swing this one.

I asked Jacob about the trip the other night and he, as a male gave me ZERO information.

And this is where my village comes in.  I've said it hundreds of times, I'm always grateful for our village.  I have met some AWESOME moms!  Awesome!  And I went to these moms because I was worried about sending my kid to the zoo with money.  I wasn't worried that he'd spend the money, I was worried he'd lose the money or someone would take advantage of his trusting nature (by the way - I am not expecting any of that money to return to me).  I had him all set up to hang with one of my mom friends and her son only to find out this morning - from this non-detail talking boy child - that they were already paired up!  Had I known, I could have just talked to this mom with zero worry!

Back to my village.

I remember when we first moved here, first got Jacob, I was so scared I'd never make friends, never meet people.  Someone said to me, "Don't worry, once he starts school you'll get to know all kinds of moms and you'll make friends really fast!"  I thought she was NUTS!

You know what?  It's true.  I volunteered for a few things in the school, helped a few moms with classroom things and I did!  I met some really great moms!  We started in sports and I met more really great moms and a few really cool dads too!

All my worry this morning was for naught.  Jacob is paired up with another really great mom friend and I can work a little easier today.

I remember being a kid and going to the grocery store with my mom, I'd get so aggravated because it seemed she knew EVERYONE!  Before I would agree to go with her, I always make her promise she wouldn't talk to anyone!  Now, I'm THAT mom.  Jeremy often says to me "Who was that?  How do you know them?" I just do!  I'm building my village.

Thank you - Ursula, Heather, Sarah, Mindy, Tanya, Kalynn, Barb, Amy, Dennis, Jamie and all the other moms & dads that are a part of my village. I hope you know you can count on me as part of yours!