A box of old CDs

Jeremy and I have been clearing out the clutter in our home for some time now. I generally keep a box on my front porch where I toss all of the little trinkets I pick up around the house and when the box gets full, we haul it out to the curb and watch it disappear.

We have too much freaking snow!

I can't keep a box on my front porch - there's about 6 inches of snow out there.

I can't haul the full box to the curb - there is no curb!  It's been replaced by about 5 feet of snowbank.

What am I doing with all this clutter?  Well, I'm storing it in my basement, what did you expect?

I've decided to have a yard sale this Spring.  I've taken a few years off.  Discouraged by people, and a lack of time to set up/take down/sit in my yard all day.  I don't know why I'm ready now.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I guess I'm looking at all this stuff thinking, "I can't just give it all away..."

Things like - Kelsey's puppy kennel, 2 televisions, an air mattress still in the box, and at least 4 boxes worth of miscellaneous junk I've picked up around the house.

Jeremy and I also sorted our collection of CDs.  Can you believe we got rid of 125 discs?  I downloaded a few to my MP3 player and added them all to the yard sale pile.  I have tried this task many times before and I've always gotten stuck in the memories of the songs, you know the "where was I when I first heard this...who was I with?"  But, this time was so different.  There was zero emotion behind the sorting.  It was simply "A" to "B", keep or go.  I haven't gone back to that box since, not even once.

The spiritualist in me wonders why I'm ready now, to leave these things, to move forward.  The mom in me knows that we need the space.  The practicality of keeping them all, well, there is none.

As I get older, I question the things that I save or why I save them.  I don't want to live in constant savings, as a miser, save the good dishes, save the expensive perfume, save a hundred cds that you'll never listen to.  Enjoy this time, this life, you won't have another.  But, it's not the things.

Not to mention I'm terrified that I'll turn into a hoarder, buried alive by accumulated stuff.

Some of us, we see our things and we attach our memories to them.  A plastic cup, a baseball bat, a few toy cars, maybe some blankets, and even a box of old cds, we hold onto these to remind us of those good times,  sad times, maybe people who have passed or moved on.  In the end, we don't need those things to remind us, our memory is quite capable.  Often times, in my experience, those who have passed come back to share that memory or bring us a new one that they prefer.

While I'll miss that old box of CDs, I can carry the memories of my dad, my friends, old loves, and my childhood with me in my mind.  I don't have to share them, explain them, they're mine to hold and to bring out whenever I am ready.  When it's time to remember, I know I'll hear each song again and I'll remember just like I'm supposed to, in my own special time and place.  And I'll know that all is how it is meant to be.