I love fall, Thanksgiving and pumpkin pie, I love the spirit of Christmas...I HATE the time leading up to it.
I feel like everything is all in a jumble. My work slows down, Jeremy's work picks up. I start planning holiday meals and gifts and shopping and wrapping. It seems like there is never enough time to do everything I want to do.
Me, being the genius that I am, thought it'd be nice to do something different for Jacob's birthday this year and planned a little weekend away right smack in the middle of the holiday madness. I'm not sure if this was an intelligent choice or the biggest flop I've ever done, I guess we'll see.
I'm feeling a bit of holiday blues already this year. Jacob is getting older and the magic of Christmas is wearing off. We have some work to do as parents to curb this spoiled-ness we've created. It seems the world around us is more cold and distant this year. Maybe I'm just not into it.
In some ways, I'm a little downed by my, not really expectations of people but, people that should behave better...or maybe just behave. I'm so downed by people who are portraying themselves as people they truly aren't. I'm tired of people trying to live up to other's expectations and not being true to their hearts. I'm tired of people glossing over or avoiding their own problems yet quickly pointing out someone else's. I'm tired of people avoiding situations because they can't choose right from wrong and would rather just not upset anyone. I'm tired of falseness. I'm tired of fake. I'm tired of pasted on smiles. And I'm tired of lies. Let's face it, the holidays really do bring out the worst in people.
I always hoped that holidays meant spending time with family, and I think this year, I've finally taken it to heart - family isn't always the group of people you were born into, not always related by blood, family is often the people you choose to spend your time with. You'd think being the parent of an adopted child, I would have learned this a long time ago. It saddens me to have such a large family and we're not close at the holidays - or at all. It just hits me hardest at this time of year. That said, We are doing something different for Thanksgiving this year. I'm still cooking for us but, we're having dinner with family. A family that is very close to my heart. A family that I took a little time away from and learned that I love them dearly and I need to get back to them. They're not my blood family and it doesn't matter.
I hoping this little trip, this little Thanksgiving renews some love, some warmth in my heart. There is a lot missing and I want this to be my FAVORITE season again.
Oh Gail, I can relate to this in so many ways. Every year I feel like we are running and doing right up to the last minute. Last year Collin was out buying a couple of last minute gifts for us ON CHRISTMAS EVE! I vowed not this year. But yet here I am, mid-November, looking at the to-do list and wondering how on earth we're going to get it all done, again. I don't want to miss this year, I don't want to be so stressed that it isn't enjoyable. It's one of the reasons I'm saying no, we aren't traveling on Christmas day. Collin has to work the next day, yes, we could make the trip in one day, but I'm not doing it this year, my kids need time at home, we need time with our family. For once, that's coming first this year.
ReplyDeleteHoping you find some joy and love in this years' Thanksgiving celebration and hoping that fuels you through the greatest season of all :)