Likes/Dislikes: I'm Pushing Pause

The intent when I started this was 30 days of continuous posting and I'm a few days behind.  I had planned to make them up this morning but, after this morning my heart isn't into writing today.

Some of you may know that Jeremy has been having some trouble with his hip and his leg.  He'd been in a fair amount of pain and was on medication for that pain - which made him loopy and which has now subsided.  He was seeing a Dr. and through X-rays, we did find that the ball joints in his hips are more oval as opposed to round, the Dr. didn't know where to go with results of the x-ray - she mentioned hip replacement, she mentioned a surgery to round out the ball joints.  She said she really didn't know and referred Jeremy to an Orthopaedist.  Now Jeremy is scheduled for an MRI this week and to see the new Dr. after that.

What I didn't know until this morning is he's also been experiencing some other - call them symptoms, I guess though I don't know of what but, we're hoping between the chiropractor, maybe some Reiki and his Doctors, we're hoping to find some relief for him until we can get some answers from the Orthopaedist as to what is causing the numbness, the weakness, and the instability of his leg.  He didn't tell me until now because he didn't want me to worry or be afraid.  What he didn't know, is that I already knew there was more going on than what he was telling me, I was already worried and I was already scared.

My Dad had MS - Multiple Sclerosis all of my life.  I never knew the man he was before that crippling disease took him over.  Of course, my worst fear is being diagnosed myself  or having my husband diagnosed or my Jacob.  It's a fear I've carried in my back pocket all of my life.  It's a fear I cannot shake.  My faith is stronger than ever, and I know my Lord would never give me a bourden that I cannot carry.  He knows I'm strong enough.  He knows I can.  He knows I don't want to carry this.  He knows I already do.  And I know that He carries me.

Of course, we're both scared.  We don't know what is happening or why.  If this is something more serious or a nothing really. We don't know how or if it will change anything, or what it will happen with his job, my job, money,  if he'll have to have surgery, or about a thousand other questions.  We just don't know.  Like most things, the not knowing is always the worst.

In the meantime, we will be watching what we eat, trying to exercise/get out and move more in order to lose a little weight - take some stress off of our joints.  I have my jobs both here, and at home.  I have to make sure my child isn't scared, reassure and support my husband...and myself.  Please, ask God to watch over us, to strengthen us, to walk us through this.

I'll be back to finish my Likes/Dislikes when my load is a little lighter and I'm feeling creative again.