Remembering Missy

I lost a friend last week.  It's always hard to lose a friend.  It's harder yet to lose a friend to mental illness.  It's even harder yet, when a friend chooses their own end.  We are left feeling as if we missed something, missed all of the signs.  Feeling as if we could have helped.  Feeling the "if we had only known".  Wondering if she knew how much we all cared for her.  Knowing it wouldn't have made a difference.  Feeling angry because she didn't reach out.  Angry because we didn't reach in. The minister at Missy's funeral explained her illness quite well (and I'm kinda paraphrasing here).  Missy didn't believe in any one religion, she believed in parts of all of them. Depression is a horrible darkness that blocks out God's light.  As bright as Missy's light was, Missy couldn't fight the darkness any more.

I'm told Missy could sing.  And by 'sing', I mean SING!  I never had the privledge to hear her.  Only little bits here and there when she was goofing but, her ex-boyfriend sang this song at Missy's funeral.  He said it was a favorite of hers to sing, he said every time they brought out the guitars Missy asked to sing this, he said either she sang it for or with her mother and he was singing it that day for Missy's daughter.  I emailed and asked Eric if he could share it with me because when I heard this song, I knew.  I knew Missy was wrapped in Jesus' arms.

"Come To Jesus"
Mindy Smith

Oh, my baby, when you're older

Maybe then you'll understand

You have angels to dance around your shoulders

'Cause at times in life you need a helping hand

Oh, my baby, when you're prayin'

Leave your burden by my door

You have Jesus standing at your bedside

To keep you calm, keep you safe,

Away from harm

Worry not my daughters,

Worry not my sons

Child, when life don't seem worth livin'

Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

Oh, my baby, when you're cryin'

Never hide your face from me

'cause I have conquered hell and driven out the demons

I have come with a light to set you free

Worry not my daughters,

Worry not my sons

Child, when life don't seem worth livin'

Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, my baby, when you're dying

Believe the healing of His hand

Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival

Here in Heaven you will finally understand

Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival

Here in Heaven you will finally understand

Worry not my daughters,

Worry not my sons

Child, when life don't seem worth livin'

Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

Rest in peace my friend. I will miss your beautiful smile and your infectious bubbly laugh. I will miss the broccoli for lunch.  Every.  Day.  I will miss the way you seemed to float into a room.  I will miss the way you magically appeared when I least expected to see you. I will miss your spirit and I will miss your light.  Until we meet again...