Off the grid?

Do you ever just want to cancel everything and disconnect from all of the technology?  Away from the pressure to update, speaking of updates - all the ones from Suzie LookatME on her latest expensive vacation where she bought a bazillion dollar car and ate caviar for her last 10 meals - which is the only time she ever updates, and you cringe every time her name pops up.  Everyon has one of those along with the hand full of others pretending to be someone that they're really not - when you can't help but wonder. And not to be excluded. the so-and-so sent you an hug today, this one bought a cow and that one's horoscope, it's National Father, Son, Daughter, Christian, Disease and WHATEVER else week, and this laundry detergent that you like can save your soul.  (I know I can make those go away)  I just want to say "ENOUGH!"

I'm really fighting this urge to just turn it all off. 

Some days, all of it serves me a reminder that I'm really all alone here.  I'm the wife of a restaurant manager and he is never home.  I tried a soap business that hasn't generated a single reorder (it's okay - it'll be what it'll be - I'm not trying for pressure sales).  I have a few friends left from back home that never call or plan or have never even been to my house in the past 10 years that I've lived here!  At this point, are they really friends anymore? 

Make new friends, you say?

It's difficult to find people with common interests.  But, the biggest kicker is KIDS!  It's strange how much your kids or having kids changes the process of making friends.  People with kids older than yours don't quite remember what it's like at this age/stage.  People with a lot of family around don't know how difficult it is to find a sitter that you CAN trust.  People with kids younger than yours have schedules to keep and diapers to change and more crap to haul - and you're the one who forgets what that stage is like.  It's hard to go somewhere together with a bunch of car seats.  There are bedtimes, and feeding times, and find a potty times.  UGH!  It's so hard!

And the method in which you choose to raise your kids is a topic all in its own and I'm not going to touch it with a ten word sentence!

Single friends don't understand that you have a husband or need a sitter or don't have a sitter so you either have to bring your kid or take him/her along.  Married friends with empty nests forget that you do need or like to see your kids before they go to bed or that you do actually enjoy your husband's company.  Yet none of them understand the 'my husband is home for the first or only evening this week and I'd really just like to have a conversation or sit and watch a TV program in his company because I won't see him again for the next 3 days! I'm sorry I have to miss your candle/housewares/food/cooking/wine that-I-can't-even-drink-party.  But, I'd really like to see my husband for once.

And then one day, the phone stops ringing, there's no more email, no comments, not even any 'likes' and you realize that all of these things got in the way for so long that you're now alone (and you can't even say anything interesting either!).

Yet - there are the benefits too.  A friend who found you after 20 years and you're so excited to have him/her back that brings you to tears.  The news that my uncle had passed away and now that his wife is in the hospital having surgery after she took spill.  The updates from cousins that I've never met.  A post that my niece passed her college course.  Without this technology, I would miss these great things.

Jeremy is home the next 9 nights - meaning he doesn't close and he'll be home before 10PM on all but 3 of those nights.  :)

So, I'll do what I always do.  I'll take my tissue and wipe my tears and wait for tonight when I pick up the handsomest 5 year old boy I've ever met to tell me, "Mommy?  I missed you today!"  And none of this other crap will matter.