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Monday, February 7, 2011

Sparkles and Twinkles

There's nothing special about today.  No milestones.  Nothing important.  Just a regular old day except I miss my dad!

I look at my brother and my sisters sometimes and I wonder how things are distributed.  I don't mean monetary things or tangible things, I mean - take for instance - I'm the emotional one.  I'm the one who cries easily, not just because I'm sad, also because I'm happy.  I cry in church because of the strong memories of my dad, I cry when Pastor gives Jacob a blessing, I had said before that I can't sing the "Happy Birthday" song to Jacob without crying - it turns out I can't sing it at all, to anyone!  I typically feel things very deeply and I wonder who I inherited that from?

I was talking to my brother this morning about my dad. I may have said this before, my dad had this amazing twinkle in his eye.  Every time he smiled, it was there.  You could see it - it came out just like the cheesy "ting" in a movie.  My brother reminded me this morning about my dad's quick wit, his dry sense of humor, and how that sparkle would show up just before the zinger he was about to deliver.  It's like his eyes knew that the smile was coming and they couldn't wait for it any longer.  Sadly, none of us inherited his twinkle.

I think of my dad often when I'm with Jacob.  Sometimes, I wonder if Jacob inherited my dad's spirit - I don't know if I believe in reincarnation but, I certainly believe that my dear old dad had a hand in bringing Jacob to us.  Jacob is so much like my dad used to be.  My dad would sit on our front porch for hours and watch the cars go by.  He'd wave to folks that he knew.  He loved to go to the airport and watch the planes take off or land.  My Jacob's first word was car.  He said it while sitting on my lap watching the cars pass by.  This summer, we'll spend many evenings at the airport watching the new pilots practice take-offs and landings - as well as our skydivers go up and jump.  I can't tell you how many people have approached us saying Jacob has waved to them or said 'hello' to them on the street.  In fact, we had told my sister when she was here not to worry about getting lost, everyone in town knows where Jacob belongs.  Many people in Manistee knew my dad and would stop to talk with him when he was on the porch.

I'm sure no matter how old I get, I'll always miss my dad.  I'll always have those little moments, little memories, when I think to myself, "I wish my dad was here."  In my heart, I know that he is always here.  I know he sees all of the things I wish for.  And then I'll see his smiling face...that twinkle in his eye, and the tears will fall again.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Gail, this is so sweet. Reading it I kept getting glimpses of my Grandpa. I was only 3 when he passed away and yet, I really miss that man.

    Hugs to you.

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