What we've been doin'

This time of year is always so busy for us - for everyone! The month between Thanksgiving and Christmas is nothing but a whirl. Maybe that story is better told in pictures...

Yes, those are underwear. On his head. They're clean - I think.


Playing games with the "girls" at Daddy's work on Thanksgiving.


The fixer man at G & G H's.

Cowboy.

Kickin' it at home with Daddy.

the Police Station from his birthday.

"Mommy, I wost my candy cane!"

And...the GIANT firetruck from his birthday!

Some trains.

We had police cupcakes instead of cake this year.

Blowing out the candles with Daddy and Grandpa H.

Leaving for our horse drawn wagon ride (and my dirty truck!).

Our wagon. The horse on your left is Bird, on the right is Lark.

It was sooo cold!

After the wagon ride, we visited Santa. "Can I sit in your chair?"

Two rounds in the horse drawn wagon + 1 visit with Santa = a pooped out kid!

And the next night, the kitty crashed out too!

As always, more to come on Flickr!

We have also been driving all over our little town to look at "Christmas" (Christmas lights on houses). Last night, we took a trip up to 5/3 ball park, home of the West Michigan Whitecaps - to see Nite Lites. You drive around the whole ballpark/parking lot and they have all of these light displays - such as Santa in a helicoptor, a train and plane. Santa playing baseball and football. A lot of angels and a nativity scene. It took us about 20 minutes or so to drive through and look at everything. Jacob enjoyed it as did we. I can't say the 2 1/2 hours there and back in the backseat of my truck was enjoyable for me. We also took a little side trip to a neighborhood in Grand Rapids to see some more lights. And WOW! We saw some lights! Jacob, he fell asleep in the car on the way home. :(

I do have his 4 year and Christmas pictures too. I'll scan and post them soon.

Thoughts and Prayers

I'm temporarily going to interrupt my regularly scheduled programming.

Friends of Jeremy's parents lost their son in a car accident last night.

Authorities believe Eric lost control of his truck due to a medical event. He then struck a tree. He was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident. Eric was only 30 years old and leaves his wife, Sarah, 2 young children, Ethan, 4 and Claire is 3 or close to it.

Please, keep this family in your thoughts and prayers. They sure need them.

Happy 4th Jacob!

My little boy is turning four today and I look back at all of the things I have given up, have changed or no longer exist since becoming a mom. Most of them, I don't miss.

I am no longer allowed to go to the bathroom by myself. EVER. The door is rarely even shut.

Every shower I take, I'm greeted with - "You're in the showder Mommy?"

I cannot flush the toilet for myself. I have had him walk in and try to lift me from the toilet saying, "Hey! Get off of that poop!"

I cannot take a "quick trip" anywhere. Every trip from our house in a car involves a drive through the police/sheriff station or Fire Department.

I have to check my oven for cars, or pans of marbles before baking.

I don't get to bake alone. I always have a helper and egg shells in my cakes.

I've also gotten used to a small amount of grounds in my coffee.

I have to check ALL pots and pans before use.

I have a step stool in front of each toilet.

And there is nothing, NOTHING in this world that prepares you for sitting on cold porcelain at 3:00AM with your bare ASS - because he left the seat up!

I no longer take steps when I walk through my house in the dark. I tend to shuffle to make sure I don't step on a toy. Little cars and building blocks hurt the most, though a good toy siren in the dark will make you pee in your pants.

My bed. We bought a bigger bed - a king - then added another person to it.

Sleep.

At least one sip from any beverage I ever have. Sometimes, I lose the whole beverage.

The car radio.

My butter cream frosting bath gel/shampoo/bubble bath from Em for my birthday. "I wanna fmell wike a cupcake!"

A throw blanket my in-laws gave one Christmas.

Freedom to go and do as I please.

Telephone conversations always consist of a little voice in the background yelling, "I wanna talk!" followed by, "Who is that?"

A drawer in my fridge that now always contains juice pouches, juice boxes, pudding cups, and an occasional yogurt.

I get to yell things like, "Wait until your father gets home!" or "Don't make me stop this car!" or "Quit jumping on that cat!" and I sound just like MY mother did.

Maybe "given up" isn't quite the right phrase, I've gladly traded these things. Traded them for phrases such as "Mommy, you're my best friend.", "Mommy, can we talk?", "I love you sooo much!", and "Mommy, wook at this face!" or "Thank you, Mommy!"

I have become a better speller.

I swear less. That came into play on a road trip where Jeremy missed a turn and Jacob piped up with "sonuvab*9$%".

I now know the difference between a police siren, an ambulance siren, a firetruck siren, and a volunteer firefighters vehicle siren.

I have never worried more, feared as much, or cried as hard. I have never smiled more, laughed harder or loved as unconditionally.

I often tell Jacob, that I am luckiest mom ever.

He asks "why?",

"Because I have you. Because I have You." and then he looks at me as if I'm batshit crazy while I cry...again.

Happy Fourth Birthday, my sweet boy! It's all worth it and I love YOU!

In love

I've been in love a few times, I mean, I've had a couple of serious relationships, I'm married and I have a kid. I love them both but, once in a while, something comes along and next thing you know - love strikes again.

If you haven't had the experience of this stuff, well, I feel sorry for you. It smells fan-freaking-tastic! Though there is a set going on a popular Internet auction site for $5.99. Ah-hmm...Jeremy?

It's really much more affordable when taken from the hotel in which you stayed. It's a perk, that I already paid for, right? And well, we all know that I do have a rather nice collection of hotel shampoo, conditioner, soap, pens, paper, phonebooks, cups, coasters, and anything else that is small enough to take yet won't result in any extra charges to the room. There's no point in hiding it.

Heaven's Special Child

I'm a daily reader of Dear Abby. I like her wit, her matter-of-factedness, and sometimes her inspiration but, mostly I like when she shares poetry of others that pertains to something I'm familiar with.

The author of this poem, Edna Massimilla, wrote it after her daughter -- a child with Down syndrome -- was born.

Abby said "I have always found its message to be very moving and, when I spoke to Edna, she told me it was written to emphasize that every creation is for a purpose. She's in her 90s now and still writing poems and songs -- especially for children with disabilities."

I have a niece with Cerebral Palsy. Thankfully, hers is a fairly minor case. She does walk, play and communicate - though as she grows only the Lord knows what is in store. It's been very important for Zoe to be normal. I admire her mother for that. I had to share.


HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.

It was time again for another birth.

Said the Angels to the Lord above --

"This special child will need much love.

"Her progress may be very slow,

"Accomplishment she may not show.

"And she'll require extra care

"From the folks she meets down there.

"She may not run or laugh or play,

"Her thoughts may seem quite far away.

"So many times she will be labeled

"'different,' 'helpless' and disabled.

"So, let's be careful where she's sent.

"We want her life to be content.

"Please, Lord, find the parents who

"Will do a special job for you.

"They will not realize right away

"The leading role they are asked to play.

"But with this child sent from above

"Comes stronger faith, and richer love.

"And soon they'll know the privilege given

"In caring for their gift from heaven.

"Their precious charge, so meek and mild

"Is heaven's very special child."

"Go For It"

It is amazing how stubborn a 3, almost 4, year old can be. And they are almost always just as funny.

While getting Jacob ready for bed we decided that I would read a few books to him before hand. Gail kept asking Jacob for a hug and a kiss. The stubborn one of course kept refusing. She promptly reminded him that it was her that brought home the cupcake that he had for a snack earlier, still no hug and kiss. Then she was the grumpy old troll and wouldn't let him past her to the books until he sang a song for her. After another wonderful rendition of Itsy Bitsy Spider I said "Jacob, you know what I'd do right now?".

"What daddy?"

"I'd give mom a big hug and a kiss right now."

"Go for it daddy! Go for it!."

Hesitant

I've been thinking a lot over the past two weeks. I thought about letting this blog go and never coming back to it. I thought about starting a new one that no one could ever see. I thought about never writing another word again. I've barely updated Facebook. I haven't been emailing. I can't hide forever but, I'm still hesitant to say anything at all.

Jeremy and I often say to each other, "Perception is reality." I feel as if the perception I have given of myself or this blog isn't my reality. I feel as if I don't always use the right words or come across with the tone I intend to convey.

I'm a sensitive. My feelings get hurt easily. More so, by those closest to me. You see, I don't trust many people. I'm not a fake. I believe in quality friends, not quantity friends. I try to do good things for those I have chosen to let in. I don't always have the means but, I always have the heart. I don't like to be portrayed as bossy, know-it-all, bitter, or my favorite - spoiled. I don't like to be that person. A lot of times I am, though it's not always for me - it's me trying to make something the best that I can for someone else. I want to make someone else happy, to make them feel better, to know someone does care for them.

I would do anything for anyone (within reason, of course) at most anytime. I love to make people happy. I love to give them things because I want to. Most people, I find are quite appreciative. I'm not talking about thank-you notes or reciprocation. I'm talking appreciation - there is a difference. You can see appreciation in the light of some one's eyes, the excitement in their voice, or pictures they send. It's hard to continue to do for anyone, no matter who they are, without appreciation. And when the light finally goes out, you can't do for that person anymore. It doesn't matter how many thank you notes come with it. If the appreciation isn't there, why give the gift? Even if the gift is the friendship.

If I've learned anything here, I've learned that I am very blessed to have really great people come into my life - by their choice. A wonderful husband and soulmate, longtime friends, and some new friends too. I have a greater appreciation for Jeremy's parents. I've softened my heart considerably in regards to someone I have admitted an extreme jealousy over. I'm working to accept these things and to move on as they are without expectation.

I'm going to work harder on perception going forward, though I can't control what anyone takes away from what I write. I'm going to plan my words more carefully from here. I'm going to still try to be me. It's good to be back.