My Thanksgiving

On Saturday, we were coming home from visiting Jacob's birth parents, and from the backseat I hear,

"I...wuv...you. I...wuv...you. I...wuv...you"

We've been working on getting Jacob to say that by himself for quite some time. I never thought that when he did finally say it, I'd cry like a big dumb girl. I did!

Being the parent of an adopted child is THE toughest challenge God has given to me. I love Jacob more than I ever thought my heart was capable of loving and his adoption or the possible effects of his adoption terrify me more and more as he grows each year. I live in fear of the words "You're not my REAL mom!" I flip/flop back and forth as to whether it is healthy or unhealthy for him to have a relationship with his birth parents. I think this is a struggle I will face everyday. A decision I can only make on a day by day, case by case basis.

I've been thinking of this Bible passage from 1 Kings 3:16-28:

16 Then two women who were harlots came to the king and stood before him.
17 The one woman said, "Oh, my lord, this woman and I live in the same house; and I gave birth to a child while she was in the house.
18 "It happened on the third day after I gave birth, that this woman also gave birth to a child, and we were together. There was no stranger with us in the house, only the two of us in the house.
19 "This woman's son died in the night, because she lay on it.
20 "So she arose in the middle of the night and took my son from beside me while your maidservant slept, and laid him in her bosom, and laid her dead son in my bosom.
21 "When I rose in the morning to nurse my son, behold, he was dead; but when I looked at him carefully in the morning, behold, he was not my son, whom I had borne."
22 Then the other woman said, "No! For the living one is my son, and the dead one is your son." But the first woman said, "No! For the dead one is your son, and the living one is my son." Thus they spoke before the king.
23 Then the king said, "The one says, 'This is my son who is living, and your son is the dead one'; and the other says, 'No! For your son is the dead one, and my son is the living one.'"
24 The king said, "Get me a sword." So they brought a sword before the king.
25 The king said, "Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other." 26 Then the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for she was deeply stirred over her son and said, "Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him." But the other said, "He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him!"
27 Then the king said, "Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother."
28 When all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had handed down, they feared the king, for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to administer justice.

I know some take issue with Jacob having a relationship with his birth family. I have prayed to God over and over about the right thing to do, how to handle this. I guess, He has been leading me to this passage. I know now my Jacob has 2 mothers that love him. Neither of us could ever divide him.

Jacob's birth parents chose us to love him, to support him, to raise him, to give him better than what they could. Yes, this woman gave away her child but she gave him to me to be his mother. ME! Could you think of a more precious gift to give someone? Could you think of a higher honor?

From this point forward, rather than show disgust toward Jacob's birth family, please say a prayer for them, for Jacob, and for us. A prayer that we make the right decisions in making positive relationships for him. A prayer that Jeremy and I raise a good man who doesn't hate us or think we took him away from his 'real' family. A prayer that Jacob sees his adoption as a positive growth experience in his life. A prayer of strength to Jacob's birth family as they do truly hurt. A prayer of thanks to Jacob's birth family for allowing us to bring Jacob into our families to give him the support, the love, and the care that they couldn't provide. For that is truly something to be thankful for!