Injustice

My blog friend Aubrey, posted this the other day and it's been haunting me ever since. I read it after she first put it up. It struck a a huge note with me. I shared in a piece of the injustice Aubrey talks about and my heart goes out to our friend who is making her way through a miscarriage. I had a good friend lose his job last week - after his wife lost hers this fall, and they have a little boy about to turn 1. My nephew lost his job too, just a few days ago. I left Aubrey's site without comment. I went back several times to read her words again and again. I wanted to comment but, I had a hard time finding the right thing to say.

Injustice - to use Aubrey's description. All this sickness, the economy, it's the only word that fits. It's not right. It's not fair. It's just not nice. All of these things happening for so many people I know. It's becoming increasingly difficult to enjoy the coming holiday.

I have to tell you, I've been holding onto more injustice in my own heart. Waiting and praying for good news to come to a very special friend of my father, of our family. I knew he was sick. We found out last week. The diagnosis came yesterday and I just couldn't share it with the happiness of Jacob's birthday post.

My father was in the Army and in basic training he met a fellow Michigander that happened to be a Lutheran just like him. They went to Korea together. Larry was my dad's best friend, the best man in my parents wedding. Larry hunted with my dad - and later he took my brother when MS claimed the use of my father's legs. Larry and his wife, Doris, were my sister Valerie's Godparents. Larry and Doris attended every family function with us until Doris passed away - then he still came by himself. They came for baptisms, track meets, graduations, weddings, and sadly, the funerals of both their Goddaughter and his best friend. Larry stood in for each one of us kids when my dad's health held him back. He even sat with my sister Cindy in the hospital waiting room for a few surgeries. The kids all know him as Grandpa Larry. We have been so blessed to have him fill my dad's shoes - as a dad and as a Grandpa. He's never turned us down when we needed him. He just proudly filled the slot. I can't tell you how special he is to our family and how grateful we are to him.

Larry was admitted to the VA hospital in Ann Arbor last week. His daughter and son are sending updates as they come. Larry has been diagnosed with acute myleoid leukemia. I've done my reading. For an 81 year old man, the prognosis doesn't look promising. Though he's been in good health, this cancer is particularly unfriendly. The prognosis even with the chemo is that remission can only be obtained on the average of 6 months, and chemo the second time is usually futile. He's also having severe headaches for which the Doctors cannot find a cause. He is having a surgical procedure done to see if the leukemia is in the brain and then if they find it they inject with chemo immediately while they are in there.

The hardest part was telling Jeremy about Larry's diagnosis. Repeating the news made it all too real.

I last saw Larry at Jacob's first birthday party and Jeremy asked me if I wanted to go see him again now. I don't. I want to remember Larry sitting in my living room, bouncing the youngest grandson of his best friend - the grandson my dad will never meet - on his knee and just beaming with pride. Thankfully, I do have photographic proof of that moment! I want to remember Larry telling me how proud my dad would be of Jacob, and me. I want to remember Larry telling me how much Jacob looks like my dad, that his adoption was meant to be. I want to keep that picture of Larry in my heart. I want to keep that healthy, happy, proud Larry, who once bounced Jacob's mommy on his knee...and Cindy, and Karen, and Gloria, and Valerie, and David...