Bookclubs: What I have learned

I had joined a book club with some friends and though I like the idea of a bunch of friends reading and talking about books, I found that I am better suited to just have friends that read. I'm sorry to say - I quit the book club.

I learned I am not able to continue to or force myself to read a book that hasn't grabbed my interest somewhere between the 2nd and 5th chapter. If it doesn't grab me by then, continuing to read it feels like a chore. I don't want to read if I don't enjoy what I'm reading.

I don't enjoy books that make me think too much. I like to be told a story and escape to that story or lose myself in my imagination. I like to imagine the stage the story is set to. The clothes, the homes, the cars, the people, they only exist in my mind.

I'm more of a 'show me once and let me do it' type person. I don't do well to study or learn a lesson in a book. I don't look at books as a way to enhance my knowledge or make me smart. I just like a good story. Sometimes a lesson might sneak in there too.

I have also learned that I am not good at discussing what I have read. I can tell you if I liked a book or not but, I'm not good at expanding on it. I'm also incredibly shy at times and I get very nervous speaking in front of people. Any people.

Based on these things, I felt it wasn't fair to the others in the book club to be reading the books I had selected, while knowing I couldn't read theirs. I feel a little guilty for not being able to keep on with a book club but at the same time, I felt guiltier about the stacks of books that I have waiting for me at home, my growing book lists, both on Goodreads and at my library, and having to purchase books that I don't want to read - or worse taking the time to read the books I have no interest in reading. I know that's the whole premise of a book club and more how I knew I didn't belong.

I'm not sorry I quit. I guess I feel like I agreed to something, then backed out - and I'm sorry for doing that. I don't mean to come across as the 'I only want to read my own books and no one else's' type, and...Well. Maybe. I guess that is the truth. All the more reason I don't belong.