I want a new rug.

Extra credit if you sing...

I want a new rug - one that won't make me trip
One that won't make me stub my toe
Or make me feel too un-hip.

I want a new rug - one that won't hurt my style
One that won't make my purse too light
Or make my man not smile.

One that won't make me angry
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I'd feel if it were new.
Oh yeah, brand new.

I want a new rug - one that won't pill
One that doesn't cost too much
One that gives my entryway a thrill.

I want a new rug - one that won't go away
One that won't clash with my walls
One that won't take all of my pay.

One that won't make me angry
Wonderin' what to do
One that makes me feel like I'd feel if it were new.
Oh yeah, brand new.

I want a new rug - one to update my house
One that won't make me feel to greedy
One that won't make me feel like a louse.

I want a new rug - one with no frills
One that won't make me redecorate too much
Or stained from a spill

One that won't make me angry
Wonderin' what to do
I just want it to be new.
Oh yeah, brand new...

Thanks Jen - this was really fun!

M&M's

When I buy a bag of M&M's to eat at my desk, I sort them out into little groups by each color. I only eat 3 at a time from each color - starting with whatever color has the most, working my way through each of the colors until they're gone. I don't mix the colors until the end to get my 3 at a time.

If I buy M&M's at the grocery store - the above is all void. I'll eat them straight from the bag by little handfuls - no matter the color. Same if I'm eating them from a dish.

M&M chocolate is different from other chocolate. It has a sharper chocolate taste than candy bar chocolate.

I prefer plain old, brown bag, M&M's.

Peanut Butter M&M's are okay too.

As a kid, I once fed my sister, Gloria (#3) wet peanuts from a bag of peanut M&M's at the drive-in movie, after I sucked the chocolate off and she ate them.

M&M's will melt in your hand if they have been sitting in a hot car for 10 minutes.

M&M's will also melt in a child's car seat.

My dad used to make a whistling sound when he ate M&M's.

My dad liked peanut M&M's.

I found out last night, there are now M&M's ice cream treats!

Hooked!?!

I tried to read Erma Bombeck's stuff. I tried. I love her quotes, and I find them to be quite true to life and actually humorous but, her stories just don't grab me and pull me in. I've deleted most of her from my Goodreads list - except for this one. Sorry Erma.

I started reading this new author though. Well, she's not new but, she's new to me. Debbie Macomber. She's written this Cedar Cove Series that I just love! I have 3 left to read to get caught up and the newest doesn't come out until September of 2008. I've found I can plow through a book, in about 3 hours - drives Jeremy crazy!

When I'm done with the Cedar Coves, I'm hoping to start the Navy Series, and then the Dakota Series, and then the Blossom Street Series. (Stop laughing, Em!)

And then I want to start on Emily Giffin. Ember and Kate are both reading her now and from what I gather - they're both digging her books and since we seem to have similar tastes...I'm pretty sure, I'm going to like Emily too!

I have been to the library 4 times in the past week. They're starting to recognize me and it's a different person at the counter every time. I didn't used to like the library. I had to be quiet. I couldn't find anything in there and I had to be quiet. So, have I told you - I LOVE our library!?! I can logon to our library's website and keep a list of books I want to read, I can put books on hold, the librarian will pull them, call or email me, and I come and pick 'em up, read them and take 'em back. I know this is fairly common now but, I still love it. The best thing...it's FREE! (Might be the only reason Jeremy hasn't staged an intervention)

Do I sound like an addict?

Family Reunion

My dad's family reunion is coming up here in the next couple of weeks - August 9 to be exact. My sisters, my brother, and I are the hosts this year. Hosting rotates between my dad's 8 siblings and their families with a different family hosting each year. I'm really looking forward to it - Jacob is getting bigger and can enjoy so much more. I'm also putting together games and prizes (for the kids and adults), which I didn't want to do but, I now think that's most of my excitement for going...including all the stories of what my dad was like.

Except for my mother.

Edna is for some reason creating a HUGE drama over the reunion this year more than any other. She seems to think there is a huge conspiracy against her attending these functions with my dad's family. Yeah Edna, there is...it's called D-I-V-O-R-C-E!

Divorce - it's in the dictionary - of which you have 10 of them. Like you used to tell us 'Go look it up!'

She says to me - They pick up Marion and take her. My answer: Yes, Uncle Marvin died. They invite Anita. My answer: Yes, Uncle Gordon died. Joanie is always included in everything they do. My answer: Yes, Uncle Clayton died. She says 'Your dad died too!' I know, AFTER he DIVORCED YOU!

She's been calling me about it and I know she's waiting for an invitation to go with us. I'm sorry, I just can't extend it. The last time I went to a thing with my mother, all I heard was - get me a drink, fix me a plate - which follows with I don't like this, why'd you bring me this, and why didn't you get me any of that, go get me some of that, you should have gotten it the first time - now it's gone, go get me some of that pop - I don't like that kind, I need some coffee, this - I don't know who made it but it's terrible! I almost threw up in my plate, or Oh, that's so-and-so, I want to talk to her/him, "SO-AND-SO come here and talk to me!" I can't simply ignore her either, with her two canes - she hits you with one of them to get your attention. Nice. Real Nice.

She called my dad's brother Art, this weekend. He told her she needs to let all of this go. And he's right. The divorce was in 1990. My dad died in 1999. It's 2008, lady. Let it go!

My turn - thanks for letting me get that out!

A bunch of finally

Jeremy finally had a day off to join us. I, as promised, finally got pictures of Jacob in the pool!

He uses this green tube most of the time.


Rarely uses the float belt...of course.


And practicing 'elbow, elbow, knee, knee' that he learned from swim lessons to get out of the pool. It doesn't quite work as well here but as least he has the concept.


He's too cute driving his little garage sale Jeep. He actually steers it now instead of sitting with his hands in his lap while mashing on the gas pedal. Yes, this is our front yard. We finally have grass.

I have 47 first cousins!

To most of you this may seem a little strange but I just learned this today. I knew there were a bunch...never thought there were that many!

On my Dad's side (listed in order):

Marvin had Linda and Susan

Edith has Jeannie, Shirley, Donnie and Mary

Art has Audrey, Dollene, Wilma, Steve, Gordon, Carol, and Stan

Gordon had Ron, Dennis, and Jill

Clayton had Rick, Lila, Paul, and Heather

Web (my dad) had Cindy, Karen, Gloria, Valerie, David, and me

Harold has Nancy, Janet, Mark, Sandy, and Judy

Dorothy has Michele, Michael, and Bryce

Ray has Craig, Lynne, Cheryl and Evan

My Grandfather was also remarried with 4 step-children. I know Gert has 4 kids - she's my dad's step-sister who married my dad's cousin, Claude. They were married before my Grandma passed away so it's not as scandalous as it sounds. I didn't add them in my count as I don't know how many there are or their names...and they aren't published in our family tree.

On my mom's side:

Edna with Cindy, Karen, Gloria, Valerie, David, and me

June with Linda, Jan, Kirk, Doug, Nancy, and Sandy (not sure of the order)

Betty with Randy, Jerry, and Deb

Darlene with Angie and Tammie

Susie with Chelle, Cappy, Crystal and Danielle

Jeremy...has 16 cousins (and 2 step-cousins -as we call them). 16. I would be lucky to recognize 16 of my cousins if I met them on the street!

Erma Bombeck?

After my post yesterday, I got an email from my mother-in-law. She said I missed my calling as a writer, I could be another Erma Bombeck. At first, I was a little uncomfortable being a likeness to Erma. I'd always remembered the picture of Erma from the link above - old...with all those teeth and that was all I knew of her. I remember my parents reading Erma's articles in the newspaper and liking them but, I had never read anything she'd written. Erma was old back then. What could she know?

What does Erma know? A lot of things - I'm just finding out!

Jeremy explained to me that his parents had really liked Erma in her day. I read some of Erma's quotes yesterday online and I now see the likeness my mother-in-law was referring to and I liked what I read. I thought to myself, 'hmm, I want to read more, I wonder if the library has any of her books.' I went to my library's website and they did! I added some of her books to my wish-list.

So, Mom - Thank you for your compliment. I'm always glad to be able to make you smile. I'm sorry, I didn't know yesterday what I know now. I see the likeness that you were referring to - not just all those teeth! Thank you for pointing out some new reading material as well. Maybe that writer thing might come along one day. You just never know.

Black or Blue?

I used to be really good at telling the difference between black or navy blue. I'm not sure what happened to me. I'd like to blame it on 'mommy brain' but, I think it's simply the whole aging process catching up with me.

This morning, I grabbed a pair of socks and headed to the basement to iron my work pants. I'm looking in the basement - they aren't there. I head back up to my room which is on the 2nd floor and see a pair of pants. I pick them up - 'good, they're blue' - I even held them up to the light and checked - I head back downstairs to get dressed. I pick up the socks that I had brought down earlier - shit - they're black! I go back upstairs to get navy socks, come back downstairs and pick up the pants - shit - they're black too! Back upstairs for the blue pants.

Damn!

Oh - I did find a new swimsuit. Guess what!?! It's black...or maybe navy blue...I guess, I'm not sure!

The pool is...open!

We finally got our chemicals under control and the water is clear!

Jacob and I had our first dip in the pool last night. It was cold going in but once we were in, it was great! With the temps approaching 90 today, I'll be ready for it again tonight!

In swim lessons, they used a float belt and Jacob did really well with it...to the point where he thinks he just floats all by himself. He gets mad when you won't let go of him. I tried a tube with him last night and he didn't like that one bit! I found that the school where we had swim lessons sells the float belts. I tried on 3 different occasions to catch someone at the school to buy one of these dumb belts. I finally bought one this morning (after finding the school's IT guy-who found the aquatic director-who was glad to help me as soon as he got the swim team started in their practice session). I was so excited, I had to call Jeremy to share the good news.

I've been so busy trying to get everyone else set for the pool, I've ignored myself. I have to run out at lunch for a new swimsuit for me. The one I wore last night went straight to the trash. I hate when swimsuits get to that point - when all the broken elastics stick out and your boobs don't stay in the baggy pouch created by all of the broken elastics - kinda like when the elastic is shot in your underwear. But, another 'pro' to having a pool in your backyard! I can't complain this suit has served me well though, I think 6 years is a pretty good return on a Wal*Mart swimsuit.

Hopefully, Jeremy can get some pics of Jay in the pool out here soon. He hasn't been home in the evening and well, I can't leave Jay in the pool alone. I promise, soon

"It's kinda Orange?"

The pool is up. Though not open for swimming...yet. We've done numerous filter changes trying to get the water clear and after 3 days, you can finally see the bottom - though you could see the bottom before we started!?! When you first set up the pool, you basically have to do a super dose of chemicals and wait until they run through the filter. I did a chlorine test Saturday and it's supposed to be a nice butter yellow - ours was as bright as an orange. It was more in the yellow range on Sunday. It's supposed to be really hot here the next few days and we should have our chemicals right...just in time.

My brother, Dave (#5), his wife, Jen, and their daughter Brooke stopped over yesterday afternoon. They also had Brooke's friend Vicki with them. They had been out to Dumont Lake to swim. Brooke and Vicki checked out the pool and played with Jacob while us grown-ups discussed our plans for the family reunion in August. I'm taking care of the fun/games/prizes for the event. I hadn't wanted to do the kids stuff in the beginning but, now, I think it might be fun.

I'm meeting my friend, Em for lunch today - she's loaning me a bag of books and I'm looking forward to seeing her and checking out what she has for me. Have I mentioned I have a new fetish for books? When I was in school - before high school - I LOVED to read. I read all the time. I don't think my family recognized me without a book in front of my face. As I got older and boyfriends, my interest in books went away. I've started to pick them up again with the help of my friend Ember (thanks Em!) and this site. I love this site - there is another link above to take you to what I am currently reading. Once I loaded all of the books that I have read, books I want to read, and looking at my friends lists for their picks, that I want to read - the hard part was over. No more little scraps of paper to keep track of a title I wanted to read.

We're also putting the finishing touches on Jacob's room that he won't sleep in. We're doing a vintage advertising spin on Route 66. I've been bidding on eBay for license plates from the 8 states that make up Route 66. I have 4 of them on the way. I'm still looking for an alternative method to hang these rather than nail holes in my plaster. I tried Poster Putty, it's not strong enough. I tried 3M Command Adhesives - they pulled the paint off of the wall (it's not supposed to!). I have a few more signs I want to order - like A&W Root Beer, Sinclair Gasoline, Texaco, and a few others. I don't know what my rush is to complete this - I have plenty of time. I guess I want to be able to cross something off of the never-ending 'to do' list.

I'm also trying to decide if I want to repaint my front entry/stairway/hallway. I helped my sister Karen (#2) pick out new colors (which when she's done, it'll be bea-U-tiful!) when we were up there and of course, I got the bug. I still want to keep the beachy vibe that I have going now but I want to make it a little richer/more grown up. I'm not sure if I want to go with a darker green or go tan (I'm into the tan/white thing) - which would go better with the new carpet. Makes sense, huh? Get new carpet and then paint!

Jacob still won't sleep in his bed. Jeremy got him to stay in there from about 9 to 11PM last night. Jay woke at 11PM and we spent until 2AM running him back to his room and putting him back in his bed. Before, I didn't think he was scared. I've changed my mind. So, I asked him yesterday if he was scared to sleep in his room, he said 'yeah'. I asked him if there was a mean daddy in his room, he said 'no-oh'. I asked if there was a mean momma in his room, he said 'no-oh'. I asked about mean kids, nice mommas, nice daddies and on and on. The answer always 'no-oh'. I tried closing his door - he freaks and he SCREAMS! He's scared of something and I can't figure it out for the life of me. He's started coming to our room usually after 3 AM and he's awake and he's scared. I have tried everything short of putting him back in his old room. I could - I'm afraid it might be a step in the wrong direction. For now - I guess the best thing we can do is let him sleep in the hall and put the sleeping boy back in his bed. Did I mention he won't nap in there either?

Whew! I got a lot out here. Hopefully, I can post some pool pics later this week and not talk so much!

The kids in the hall

Could someone explain to me, why we spent good money on a bed for this child when he'd rather sleep on the floor in the hallway? Oh yeah, it's because he's 2! (Yes, he is asleep.)


He didn't like the flash from the camera...

Every night we put him to bed in his bed and every night we find him here. We're not sure what the problem is. He has stopped crying when we leave his room at night but, as soon as we're gone, he heads for the hallway. We've tried staying until he's asleep but he wakes up when we leave. I have had very few instances where he's fallen asleep on the couch and we have been able to carry him up and stay asleep. He's not napping in his room either. Now he's starting to wake up in the night and come to our room. Last night he arrived at 3AM, yowling 'Momma!' I think he was cold.

I thought maybe he was afraid of the big bed, so we tried the toddler bed again and he refuses to sleep in it. I tried the mattress from the toddler bed on the floor and he refuses that too. He just stands and points to the big bed. He doesn't act scared. Jeremy thinks he doesn't want to be alone but even if we're upstairs...we still find him sleeping in the hall. I say find him because you can't hear him get out of bed but you can hear him breathing over the monitor!

Suggestions?

Instructions

Don't you sometimes wish we all came with instruction manuals? Just a little booklet that details your handling instructions to pass out to people you meet along the way. Likes warm showers, and soft pillows. Hates liver and Lima beans. Likes warm, genuine hugs. Hates cold coffee. Has huge trust issues. Fiercely independent. Stubborn and Bullheaded. Allergic to Neoprene. Doesn't always see the little things to do to make others feel special - but still values them immensely. Likes nuts to eat by themselves but hates them in cookies or brownies. Stuff like that.

It would be great to have the ability to look up the whats and the whys that make up who you are. The traits inherited from both parents and how you're supposed to manage them. Their strengths can become your strengths, their strengths can also become your weaknesses or vice versa. Like an index. Stubborn? See page 263. You get that from your mother. She got it from her father. Multiplies through each generation. To ease: don't tell it what to do, it won't do it...rather make it think it was its idea, it'll surely take the bait.

It's funny, sometimes to look from the outside at your family, at your siblings and see yourself. I see Cindy's sensitivity, Karen's creativity, Gloria's spontaneity, and David's determination - in me. I'm sure my parents see more of these similarities and differences in each of us than what I see myself. I'm sure they see themselves in us too. It always amazes me that six kids from the same two parents can be such individuals. I'm sure they're amazed everyday. I'm glad my parents realized the differences in the six of us too. They essentially parented us the same but the six of us were so different, they had to adapt to each of us. Cindy was more sensitive - she'll behave with a dirty look. Gloria was the wild one - she might never behave. I'm thankful for the parents I had. Though they never said it much, I know they are proud of all six of us and the people their children grew to be.

I think a lot about my issues with trust. I don't trust many. I don't know who I inherited it from. I have very few people who have taken the time to make their own instruction manuals for me. Friends who were patient enough to let me let them in - in my own time. I trust these people with my...everything. The ones who have hung on long enough to find that I was worth it on the inside. Thanks you guys - you are very brave and I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

I know I've been a lot more personal here lately. I have so much going around in my little mind. Typing it here seems to be my best release. I don't mean to offend or upset anyone. I'm trying to take steps to be more of a person I want to be. I do want to be more open - not so hard and closed. I've always felt like I'm peeking out the door so I can just slam it shut when I get too scared or too hurt. I need to stop doing that. I need to learn to close the door behind me instead of hiding behind it. I need to learn to open it when someone knocks. I'm trying.

Trust - what page is that on?

Happy belated July 4th!

We spent the 4th in Manistee with my sister, Karen (#2), her husband, Mike, and their kids, Chris and Jill. We had a great time with them! Jeremy said it might have been the best time he's had up there yet! Thank you, Karen and Mike for all of your hospitality, for keeping us fed, Jacob entertained and making sure he had plenty of lollipops to last the whole weekend!

We also celebrated Jill's 21st birthday while we were there. Jill - graduates Michigan State University this next year with her 4 year degree. Then she's going on for her doctorate (I believe) in Psychology. She's doing an internship this summer with a women's resource center. I'm pretty proud of her.

Jacob enjoyed the parade with the 'piece car" and the 'big tr'. He waved to them all. Thanks Grandma Dor, we can't tell you how glad we are that you live on the parade route! Having the house right there makes having a kid in diapers so much easier.

After the parade we had the annual turkey on the grill at Karen's - delicious as always. Chris had to eat and run to be to work for a 7PM to 7AM shift with the police dept. We're hoping to make it down for an open house at his police station this fall. I know Jacob will LOVE it! Jacob had a great time following Chris (or should I say "Ris" as Jacob calls him) everywhere he went. Chris is such a kid magnet! I don't know how but little kids just seem to flock to him! They ran around the house, they played ball, and boy, did Chris laugh a lot!

We did the normal tourist things while we were there. Walked the boardwalk, fed the ducks (daddy was whistling for them), went to the popcorn wagon, the flea market, the World of Arts & Crafts, the petting zoo, and of course, Big Al's for subs that we ate at the beach. We also took a drive to check out what was left of the storm damage from a month ago. They're still cleaning it up.

We swam in the pool at our hotel...Grandma Kathy (Edna) even came to watch. I couldn't believe my mother came out to the hotel. Of course, as we're leaving, she leans over and says to this woman, "That's my daughter and that's my grandson, he looks just like them doesn't he? He's adopted." I guess there isn't any shame or secret there! I didn't say anything to her then but I think we're going to have another talk about that!

We did go to cemetery too. I hadn't been in a long time. I stood at my father's grave, holding my Jacob, and of course, I cried. Jacob waved and said "hi" to his Grandpa Web. I wished Grandpa Web was here to hear that sweet little voice talking to him. The mosquitoes were so bad - we couldn't stay any longer. We took a ride over to the Catholic cemetery and waved to my good friend Joe. They extended that cemetery since the last time I was there. I saw a lot of new names that I recognized.

We did have a great visit with everyone and I'm so happy we went. I feel a lot better than I did before we left. I seem to be on a bit of an emotional roller coaster lately. No, I'm not PG! I want so many things - not material things. I want to be closer to family - emotionally not logistically. I want Jacob to be happy, to see how much he's loved. I want to be able to open myself up to more things and not be so afraid of being hurt by people. I want to be able to show the real me, the soft mushy parts - not the shy, hardened version that I always show first. I just want to be better.

I almost forgot. Jacob got his first shiner before we left. He was at day-care. Walking along, talking to his little friend (how cute is that!?!) not paying any attention and he walked into a fully loaded swing. He's fine. His eye is fine. It's some beautiful shades of purple, yellow, and green though. The best part - Early On came Thursday AM before we left. Miss Carrie says to Jacob "oh, what happened to your eye?" and my Jacob looks at her, looks at me and says "Momma!" Thanks kid! We did get a lot of looks while we were gone. Some people asked, some just looked. The bruise is fully documented though, in every picture and video from the trip! Isn't that the way it always goes?