Exhausted

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Financially. Decidedly. Wifely. Motherly. Medically. Family. Exhausted.

I spent most of yesterday getting ready for our new carpet that is coming on Tuesday. Cleaning, painting, and planning. Jeremy hauled the last of the old carpet out too. YUCK!! I ordered the window treatments for Jacob's new room. I still have to order the border and pictures/signs for the walls.

We need to replace part of our fence, three doors, and a window. We don't know how to do it, let alone where to even begin. I'm NOT hiring another contractor. Not this summer! My little mind can't take it.

We're trying to decide what to do for July 4 and my dad's family reunion this summer. Do we want to stay home for the 4th? In my almost 35 years, I've never been to a parade on July 4, anywhere but Manistee. Do we want to do something around here? If so, what? I'd like to stay in Lake City for the reunion but, where do we stay? I want something on the water but, how do I find it? I don't have the mental energy to think about going anywhere, nor do I have what it takes to get everything together to actually go!

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. I was so sleepy but, I was even more nervous. I had a feeling that something else was going to happen. Like something else was going to be dumped on my shoulders. Another responsibility. Another thing I'd have to take care of or handle. I feel like I have nothing left, like I have already put in sooo much, I have nothing more to put in. Where does it end?

I don't want to work on my house any more. I don't want to think about outrageous gas prices. I don't want to think about travels or trips. I don't want to think about too many miles on my leased truck. I don't want to look at my lawn with tiny sprouts in place of grass that my neighbor flooded this weekend. I don't want to move any more furniture, or think about the placement of it. I don't want to think about transitioning Jacob to his new room. I don't want to decide on a desk for our home office. I don't want to buy fence. I don't want to replace windows or doors. I'm so damn tired of thinking, of planning, of maintaining, of figuring, of DOing!

Could someone let me know when they invent the switch to turn off the mind? Thanks, I'm afraid I might miss it if left up to me.