I have been struggling for so many moons to get back to church, a church we like, that likes us, is kid friendly, not old, not liberal, not conservative, not right/left wing, not formal, not too informal, obviously looking for the perfect balance. Insert laugh track here.
Okay, I admit it. I'm old school when it comes to church. I really want the boring, hard core, traditional Lutheran service that I grew up with where I know how it works, I know all of the people, and I know all the words. I've been holding out for that church. Well, I can tell you, that church, no longer exists!
I have said this before, I am a baptized Lutheran. My dad chose it, and leaving it is not an option for me.
I've been depressed with our local church for some time. I can't make it a secret. I really was. The thought of walking in the door made me wish I had a script for Xanax! In the beginning, I enjoyed the time we spent there, I met wonderful people. But, 1 - There is no life there. It's OLD. 2 - there aren't many kids (ie: no kids programs). 3 - It's always the same people that volunteer for the same things but, if you volunteer, you have to do it the same way they have always done. 4 - It's a little church that wants to do so much - I have never seen so many social activities in one place! The problem is - there aren't any geared toward kids and there aren't any kids for my kid to do them with!
Well, you know what happened? God turned on the light for me and said, "Your ideal is no longer. Find my house, stop dinking around and get your butt in there where you belong!" Yes, that's what he said. And that's what I finally did.
We, and I mean all 3 of us, went and checked out a potentially new church yesterday. And you know something, I liked it!
I liked the pastor. And there are kids! And they have Sunday School. And they had the little pinewood derby car races the week before.. Of course, there are plenty of Grandmas, don't get me wrong, I like the Grandmas (so does Jacob) and they were friendly enough. This church, we were new, that's obvious but, we weren't fawned all over, we weren't promised anything, we simply enjoyed the service and we were allowed to leave at the end - no questions asked.
Jeremy and I, as Lutherans were allowed to partake in communion at this service, they ask that visitors not confirmed in the beliefs of the Lutheran church do not. I, of course, teared up at about the time we were given the communion wine. This may sound strange to you but, I had this completely overwhelming sense of my Father with me, saying "Yes, this is it! This is where you are supposed to be. This is what you were missing! This is what I wanted for you when I chose this faith for you.", only it was more than just my earthly father, it was my heavenly Father as well. I couldn't stop crying. So much so, I couldn't focus on my prayer after taking communion (I typically pray a moment when I return to my seat) - I couldn't stop the tears. And in front of a whole congregation of strangers nonetheless! Honestly, and not out of cruelty, I don't think anyone noticed.
I left there thinking 'yeah, I liked it, we'll see' but, the more time passed, I'm pretty sure we've found our new church home. We still have Sunday School to check out and to transfer membership but, yeah, I think we're home.
