Searching for the light

 I've been working on a lot of things lately. I've written before that I struggle with religion and church. I want to find a church home but, the more I think about it the more I struggle with organized religion. I'll always be a Missouri Synod Lutheran - if not in practice then in my heart. My dad made that choice for me 37 years ago, it was his wish, it's how I was raised and what I was taught.   I feel maybe as if that's one thing that he gave me/that he left me after his death.  It's my one tie to him, the one thing we had in common, all I have of him besides his looks.  I do think church has changed since my dad's time.  I struggle with a church family that only wants you for your wallet. You know, we haven't attended our church in almost 5 years and our pastor hasn't once called to check on us? Yet my phone still rings for a driver or a  dish to pass for a funeral, special meetings to ask for more money, you know - the church's needs.  What about our needs?  Is that the Christian way? If so, that's not the type of Christian I want to be.  It's not what it was when my dad chose for us.

I haven't been writing. This spiritual struggle isn't easy to discuss, let alone write about. I haven't been writing because as soon as you say religion - everyone turns and bolts. As soon as you say "spiritual" everyone says "oh yeah, like Tom Cruise?" It's hard for me to say that I'm working on taking steps more towards spirituality because it's really against everything I know or have been taught but, I'm also wondering if everything I know or have been taught is what this is!?!

I was given a note the other day and I want to share it.  This note, if you think about it, and take it back to organized religion - it fits but, it fits the spiritual avenue as well.  Christ said "I am the way, the truth and the life (I've also heard 'light'), believe in me and you shall have eternal life."  He said in John 8:12 "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."  He never said "Come on in!  Dump the contents of your wallet in this here dish and get outta my house!"

WOW!  Do you know how many bible verses refer to God or Jesus as light?  Just sayin' is all.

I'm not saying that I don't believe in the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit.  I do, I most certainly do.   Can't I just believe in a higher power? Is that enough to give me eternal life with my creator?  Does it have to be tagged?  Does it have to be Lutheran or Catholic, Baptist or Methodist,  Buddhist or Muslim, Jewish or Pentecostal?  

Anyway, back to the note - the words are from the note, I added the photos from Photo8.com (they have a lot of great images free for use btw)

1.  The Heavenly Father is LIGHT

2.  The pyramid refocuses Light.

3.  Seek and you will find the Light.

4.  Serve the Light and you will find your freedom in the Universe.

I won a book!

I registered for a giveaway on Goodreads about a week or two ago thinking how fanatastic it was for these people to be giving away books and what a great way to expand my ever-growing library at a low or no cost.  I never thought I'd win a book but, I did!

I got an email notification last Thursday saying I had won and my book would arrive in a few weeks (4 to 12) so imagine my surprize when I found it in my mailbox yesterday!

I opened the package, and there it was Communion by Kim Fay!  BUT - there was an envelope taped to the plastic wrapping on the book - an envelope with my name on it - my name, spelled correctly! 

I opened it and found this note:

"Dear Gail,
Many thanks for your interest in Communion!  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
With warm regards,
Kim Fay"

The AUTHOR!  The author sent a personal note!  To me!  Wow!  I can't wait to start reading!  :)