It only takes a minute to do it...

I promise that's all it takes to have an opportunity to save a life.

I'm not a good blood donor, needles ARE NOT my thing, but if I have died and gone, I want to be cremated anyway so, why not give my organs and tissues to someone who needs them.

I urge you to sign up if you haven't already. I also ask you to discuss this choice with your families. I know it's difficult to do but, I'd rather have the conversation now, than for them to wonder later or miss out on a chance to continue a life for someone else.

Please join me or us rather, as Jeremy just signed up too.

http://www.giftoflifemichigan.org/

***If you're totally sickened by the thought of organ donation - I'm sorry you feel that way. I again, didn't intend to offend.

**And in case you're wondering how this came about, I had to renew the registration on my truck.

23,863 flags, waving in the breeze

I'm listening to the office chatter this morning about parades, backyard BBQ's, yardwork, and trips taken over the weekend. I'm thinking about a discussion Jeremy and I had yesterday morning how we want to teach Jacob that Memorial Day is more than a day for BBQ, boats, parties, and an extra long weekend. Those things are okay and we did some of that too but, we wanted to remember the real meaning behind this day.

We started with a parade in downtown Allegan. All three of us sporting our red, white, and blue! I felt out of place, I tell you, I think we were the only ones! Jacob clapped loudly for the Veterans as they marched past us. I was so proud! Though he didn't have nearly the same excitement for them as he did for the Allegan Fire District trucks!!!

Shaun led in the aerial ladder truck and Jacob went crazy! "Shaun! Shaun! Shaun!" Next, was Bruce, the chief and Jacob's new best friend, in the District's new pumper. Jacob was waving big! Bruce stopped the whole parade and waved Jacob to come out to give him a high-five! After Bruce, came the Rescue Truck, a water tanker, the Ambulance, and the last police car. Jacob cried when the parade was over.

After the parade, we picked up some flowers, a flag, and Grandma Harper for a trip to Fort Custer National Cemetery where Jeremy's grandfather (Grandma's Daddy) rests.

IF you have never been to a National Cemetery on Memorial Day or Veteran's Day, I urge you to do so. In this cemetery, the headstones are flat to the ground to ease in maintenance, so on a normal day, it looks like sections and sections of grass. On Memorial Day, it's a field upon field of American flags. Flags in honor of a man or woman's service to our country. The effect, the impact, the reality in numbers (23,863 to be exact), is breathtaking. Picture that number I just gave you, as flags waving in the breeze. Like this. This cemetery also has The Avenue of Flags, a row of 152 flag poles along the main road of the cemetery, as well as an additional 50 flag poles, one for each state flag, in a semi-circle at the road end. It is an amazing view. I will post some picks on Flickr tonight. (I haven't downloaded anything from the D60 yet!)

Grandma placed flowers for Grandpa/Great-Grandpa Coleman. My Jacob decided to leave him his flag. Though the moment that stole my heart - we told Jacob to tell Brampa good-bye, and my son, my precious, sweet, little boy, lay down on the grass, on his tummy, and kissed the grass by the bottom corner of the headstone and said "Buye Brampa!" One of those moments to be forever etched in my heart.

I hope to make this an annual visit. I hope to keep the true meaning of Memorial Day as a valuable lesson to us every year. Sadly, the number of interments at Fort Custer will have grown by next year and there will be many more flags. I hope my son learns to respect the lives of the men and women that fought and died for his freedom as well as those fortunate to have served this our country without seeing combat. I hope we can teach him the value and the meaning behind the flags.

Today we remember

Daniel Benson Nolff - who gave his life in service of our country on October 29, 1966

We also thank the members of our family who fought for freedom under our flag.

Claude E. Harper -- POW WWII

John L. Coleman (July 24, 1994) -- WWII

Richard Elenbaas (Sept. 4, 1970) -- WWI

Web Elenbaas (Sept. 4, 1999) and Larry Hagen (Dec. 26, 2008) -- The Korean Conflict

Henry "Butch" Nolff (July 4, 2003) -- Vietnam (escorted my Uncle Dan's remains home for burial)

And those who also served.

J. Alan Coleman, USMC

Don Harper, US Army

**I know there are many more I have missed. I apologize. Your service is none less important than anyone else, I simply was not certain of who served for what branch and/or where. I felt it best not to post any information rather than incorrect/incomplete information.

One fish, two fish, red fish, DEAD fish!

Howard is a serial killer fish!

(If you didn't remember we bought fish Mother's Day weekend.)

I don't know what kind of fish Howard is but, we now call him Jaws. Howard killed Albert. Howard killed Nemo #2. And we suspect Howard forced Nemo #1 to commit suicide by jumping from the bowl to the strainer in the kitchen sink drain. I think he kept whispering to Nemo #1 "Jump. You know you want to. Just jump before I peck you to death." Much like Hannibal Lecter convinced Mulitple Miggs in the next cell to swallow his own tongue.

After Howard killed Nemo #2, Jeremy and I noticed he was following Albert around the bowl charging at him and nipping him. The next morning, Albert was on his side, floating lifelessly amongst the plants. He was gone. We suspect Nemo #2 met a similar fate. We found him behind the castle.

Jacob asks what happened to his fish, then answers himself, "Daddy frowed him in the darbage!" We also had to educate Daddy on the proper etiquette for fish funerals. "Daddy, dead fishies get flushed. We do not throw them in the garbage!"

38/25

That's how it's written on my TICKET! The FIRST speeding TICKET I have ever gotten!

In case you hadn't figured it out - I got a SPEEDING TICKET last Friday on my way home from work!

I came into town a different route than I normally take and I know this route is 25 MPH for a greater distance than the other routes. I don't do 25 MPH very well. I came over a little hill and I saw the County Sheriff car sitting there. I knew I was going too fast and I knew he'd clocked me. I hit my brakes but it was too late.

He whipped out of his 'hiding' place and came out behind me, slow at first than shot right up to me, followed me for a good amount of time before hitting his lights. I pulled into the school parking lot and I waited.

"Hello. I'm deputy H. from the Allegan County Sheriff Department. I'll need your license, registration, and proof of insurance, please. My radar clocked you at 38 MPH in a 25 MPH zone. Were you aware you were speeding?"

"Yes, as soon as I saw you, I was aware of it."

He went back to his car, and I waited, and waited, and waited.

He reappeared at my window and said "Ma'am, I'm going to give you a break today. I do have to give you this citation but, I only wrote it for 5 over. It must be paid in the next 10 days. Please, watch your speed."

"Thank you." What else could I say!?! I was speeding. I knew I was speeding. I fully deserved the ticket. My smart-ass husband thinks it was a long time coming.

I drove the remaining 2 blocks to my house, where Jeremy and Jacob were on the front porch. I also had to wait for the ambulance they had come out to see. They met me at the back door. Jacob was yelling "Mommy, Mommy, I saw a woo-woo!"

I said "So did Mommy for about 10 minutes while he was behind me, writing Mommy this $90 SPEEDING TICKET "

"Mommy? You saw a woo-woo too?"

One small note...

I was feeling sorry for myself yesterday. I was feeling inadequate, used, alone, unappreciated, misunderstood, taken advantage of, misread, misguided and 9000 other emotions. I have a few people in my life that bring out all of this confusion for me and I hate it. I hate that I let them get to me. I think - they just don't understand me, I really don't understand them, and I always come out feeling like I'm trying to mix oil with water. It merges for a few moments but it begins to separate as quickly as it came together. I try to keep these type people at arms length but being a person who is either all or nothing, that's very difficult to do with people who are by definition, supposed to be close to me or are tied to me. I had to dump all of that crap somewhere and it came out here.

As awful as I felt yesterday, the good Lord gave me what I needed to hear. Not once, but twice.

We had a few errands to run last night and when we came home, there was a message from my friend Lori. I knew something was wrong. I only overheard her voice while Jeremy was listening to her message and I knew. Our friend Joe, the one who died, his dad has inoperable colon cancer. They found it in an exploratory surgery, they couldn't take it out so they closed up and left it. He'll begin a chemo regimen and see what happens from there. It wasn't the news that she gave me - it was that she knew me well enough to not email such news to me, to not leave me a message, she knew she needed to tell me herself. She just knew. Although the conversation was short, and my feelings weren't ever mentioned, she told me what I needed to hear from a friend.

And # 2.

Oh, late last summer, when we decided to make Jay's nursery into our office, I decided I'd try to get a nice table to put our computer and all it's stuff on rather than spend money on a big desk and hutch. I went to my Freecycle site and posted a "WANTED". A few hours later, a woman responded that her daughter had a trestle table she was no longer using and I could have it. We made arrangements for pickup and I made plans in my little head for this table/desk.

I headed out to pick up this table in my shiny, clean, barely a year old Explorer (this link is exactly my truck!). I'm heading out to the scene of Deliverance all by myself. I follow the directions to this trailer in the middle of nowhere with no address on it, cars and various parts, broken toys, a lamp, and broken laundry baskets strewn all over the yard. I bravely leave the safety of my truck to go knock on the door. As I'm going to the door the smell of old pee, kool-aid, stale cigarette smoke hits me. I knock and two dirty faced kids, with scraggly hair and soggy diapers come to the door followed by a man sleeved in tattoos wearing basketball shorts. I said "I'm looking for 1234 Anystreet?"

"yeah" he grunts.

I managed to squeak, "Um, I'm here for a table..."

"unh. Jane - she's here for the table." And here comes Jane wearing jeans and a sports bra with her 3 kid pierced and tattooed belly jiggling it's greeting.

Jane and the grunter come out on the porch after yelling at the kids to stay put and start taking stereo speakers off of this beyond filthy, spider web/spider baby sack covered table. I'm thinking to myself - Shit! That can't be it! But it is.

They load this table covered in sand and spilled juice, top side down and slide it over the TAN carpet in my explorer. I'm driving home with my windows all wide open trying to alleviate the stench of this table. All the while thinking WTF am I going to do with this now!?!

Jeremy and I unloaded it with wrinkled noses, cleaned up my truck and I set to washing this table with a bucket of really strong pine cleaner. I took the top off, it wasn't any good, and set it to the trash. We put the bottom of the table in the basement while I looked for a new top. And there it sat until just after my garage sale. I finally told Jeremy to put it on the curb and see if someone takes it. It's a game for us - put something on the curb, he says it'll be gone in 10 minutes, I say no, it'll be gone in an hour and we wait to see who's right.

Last night, I was talking to my sister and our doorbell rang. A man gave Jeremy an envelope and left. In the envelope was a homemade card. On the front, two pictures - 1) an older man in an electric scooter watching TV- 2) just the TV on a table, the bottom was that trestle table we'd put on the curb. Also on the card was a ribbon "One person can make a difference..." inside - "and that person is you! Thank you!"

Also inside was this letter:

Good Day to you and your family,

Dad's vision and physical health has diminished greatly and television plays a large part in enhancing his life. In order for this to happen he has to sit 4" in front of the television. The other day while we were visiting, I noticed the leg of his table was crooked. He mentioned he had rammed it with his scooter trying to get closer to the TV. When Richard tried to fix it the leg just came off (just glued). I'm so glad this happened while we were there otherwise Dad could have had a TV in his lap. Last Saturday we were going there w/the soul purpose of building/creating a new table that his chair would fit under and be safe. We passed your house and noticed the topless table stand on the side of the road. We checked it out and put it in the trailer. If nothing else, Dad would have a creative thought for it. Much to our surprise it was EXACTLY what we needed. We had everything else but w/ the strong structure, shape and height of the base it all came together in a couple of hours. As you can see by the pictures, his chair fits under it nicely and the width gives him room to rotate w/o knocking anything over on himself. Thank you for sharing what you did not need. Besides helping w/the creativity of the table, it gave my father a couple of wonderful hours sharing his carpenters skills w/ my husband.

Thank you,

signed

I cried as I read this letter. I read it to my sister and I know she did too. I needed this letter yesterday. I can't explain the peace I felt after reading it. I knew that I had a purpose here - even through all those horrid emotions I had felt. I knew that I was being led. All those months, I was on my way to purpose. Simple but, still a purpose. I wanted to share my peace with you.

What fits?

I think a lot about people's perceptions as of late. I think about how I come across to people. I know I'm difficult at first but, I like to think once I let you in, it's worth it.

I don't have very many friends, though the ones I do have, are rich in history. False friendships are not my thing. I don't count acquaintances as friends. I also will not pursue a possible friendship. I don't like to put effort into friendships - I believe they should be natural - they should just flow. Friendship shouldn't feel like a chore.

I remember being 7/8 years old and I wouldn't speak to one of my sister's very best friends. I barely uttered a word outside of family, for that matter. I simply hid behind my sister and peeked out as this girl spoke to me. I was that shy! I'm not shy anymore - well, most of the time I'm not. I'm quiet while I observe you and try to figure you out. A lot of the time, I don't feel like talking to people (mostly people I don't know). So I don't.

I'm stubborn. I have to learn for myself.

I'm independent. I can take care of myself and I don't appreciate being treated as if I can't! Yet I do expect a man in my presence to be chivalrous.

I'm not dumb. I'm not stupid. I'm not ignorant. I may not speak straight from a dictionary but, I am rather intelligent - more common sense than book smarts. Treat me like I'm an idiot once, and I'm done with you. I don't take well to people who lack common sense.

I can't stomach an excuse. Benjamin Franklin once said, "He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." I do know the difference between a reason and an excuse.

I have a sharp tongue. Edna says it's from my father (actually she says "you have your father's sharp tongue and you know how to twist it too") but, I think it's from her. I don't always think about what I say before it exits my mouth - especially when it comes to my mother. Sometimes it's easier to edit yourself on paper/on screen but, like Jeremy says email is often misinterpreted.

I have high expectations. I expect my child to behave. My furniture to last. My lawn to be mowed. My kitchen chairs to be pushed in. I get let down a lot. :)

I'm an organized F. R. E. A. K. I am a place for everything person. I have to tell you - I hate having people help pick up Jacob's toys because then I have to sort them to the bins where they belong!

I don't settle. If something is not exactly what I want. There is nothing that "will do"...unless what I want is something that isn't already made or too expensive. Then I'll make do.

I take most everything to heart. Matter of fact - breaking one of my little rules here is enough to set me into a spin. But, we all have these little rules about ourselves. These little lists of things we like or don't like or the things we want or expect. Don't we?

I think a lot about where I fit or more the case, don't fit. I do okay with my family but, there is such an age difference in us. My life now, was 20 years ago for my sisters - their marriages are 25+ years old. Their kids are grown (sorry girls - I don't intend to make you feel senior). Most times, I feel I travel alone. I tell Jeremy often that "I just don't fit." Then I wonder, Do I expect too much? or Am I just being a tight ass?

I think of the ways we were all raised by our parents. I think of the things we learned from watching them, or in my case from watching my siblings, mostly. I think of the way these relationships all intermingle in our friendships or marriages. I think of my set of rules and how different it is in comparison to Jeremy. Night and Day, by the way. I'm amazed at the Lord's weaving between Jeremy and I. For all of our differences, I'm amazed that it works.

I've been thinking a lot of friendships or relationships that have worked or don't work out for me. A lot about people who are in my life and why they're here. People I want and people I don't. Those here by choice, those here by marriage or birth. I don't intend to be difficult. I certainly don't intend to hurt. I simply don't know where I fit.

Gizmos, Gadgets, and the weekend too

I came home last Thursday to find my Shark Steam Mop (purchased with my garage sale proceeds) had arrived. I've been waiting for this thing! You have to know that I'm an old school, scrub the floor on your hands and knees with a bucket and a rag, kind of girl. A mop - does not clean the floor! I liked the idea of using steam. Steam. That's gotta make it clean, right? It does. Though, I thought (or hoped) the pad would be really dirty after using it on my kitchen and bathroom floor but, it really wasn't bad. Either my floors were cleaner than I thought or this mop doesn't work! I did surf my kitchen in white socks just to be sure (No, not in my underwear but still in Risky Business style) - the socks are still white. When you're done 'mopping', you throw the white pad in the washer machine! I highly recommend him! **I didn't purchase mine from the link, I found a much better deal elsewhere.

Also Thursday, I found out that Jacob's birthparents were plotting and saving to hire a lawyer in attempt to make their "little family complete". Meaning undo Jacob's adoption. However, God is watching out for us (as always) and they had a huge fight between themselves last week, the police were called, and the Bfather went to jail on domestic violence charges and is now looking at 15-20 years in PRISON! He's been arraigned on the charges and will be sentenced May 14. From this point, we will accept letters from them and I may talk to her on the phone but, we will not see them anymore. Once Jacob turns 18 he can make the choice to have them in his life or not. We will continue to have a relationship with the Bfather's parents. I still fear Bmother will try something. Such as filing complaint with Child Protective Services against Jeremy or I. I wonder if her having an open case on herself would affect her attempt to file against us!?! I always said I had to do what I felt was right with her and for Jacob. God took out a billboard for me this time!

Friday we trekked to Portage to pick up my new camera, buy my annuals, get stuff for to finish building Jacob a giant sandbox, and to have lunch with Bramma H. I have to tell you this too...

We told Jacob we were going to see Bramma. He said, "No Bumpy (Grumpy) Bramma?" (Edna)
I said, "No, we're not going to see her. Do you not like her?"
"She mad!" He said.
"Who's she mad at?" I asked.
"She mad with mommy!"

We were a little delayed on our outing as we stopped at our fire station after seeing the doors were open. Jacob had a good visit with his hero, Shaun. Shaun turned on lights and sirens in a firetruck and let us check everything out. I asked Shaun how it felt to be a 3YO's hero, he looked at me and he just smiled. We did get some sad news - our buddy Shaun has a final interview with a police department in Florida and he will likely be moving away. We wished him luck and told him we'd certainly miss him. We had a great lunch and good visit with Bramma too.

As you may have already noticed from the Fickr previews to the left, the D60 has made its way home. I managed one good day out with Jeremy keeping Jacob occupied so I could click away. Believe it or not, all of the pictures I posted, subtract the flowers, were taken across the street, in front of the...wait for it...Allegan County Sheriff's Department!! Imagine that! The pansy, petunia, iris and tulips were shot in my very own yard. Thank you camera guy for recommending the UV filters for the lenses. I had to run at lunch for a lens cleaning cloth to remove a fingerprint!

We also have new pets. We have fish. Daddy's fish is Albert. Mommy's fish is Howard. Jacob's 2nd fish is Nemo. Jacob's first fish commited kitchen sink suicide. We found him in the drain strainer. He was dead. He either flopped out of the bowl or Albert and/or Howard pushed him. We're not sure.

Saturday I planted. In the rain. Jeremy spread his dryer lint (aka lawn patch) all over the front yard where we cut the tree down last year. My nephew, Matt stopped in and spent the night with us. We were down at the neighbor's watching them cut down trees, Jacob saw Matt coming towards us and ran down the sidewalk to give his cousin a big hug. Matt put Jacob to sleep, lying with him on the floor of our den, holding hands.

Mother's Day was uneventful. We called our mothers. Jacob gave me my "wetters", complete with a "spfonge Bob" card that he picked all by himself. Matt went home. Jeremy went to work. Jacob and I took a walk, came home, made "onies", watered plants, gave Jacob a "wife" (bath), got into our warm jammies and had some "fnuggle wif you" time on the couch. I got unprompted "mo mo (eskimo) tisses". He even threw in an "I wuv YOU mommy." I'm the "wuckiest" mom EVER!

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary,

How does your garden grow?

When we bought our house, our yard was all Cedars and ugly evergreen shrubs with nasty red berries that we either cut down or my brother pulled out with his truck. We also had hostas and fast moving ground cover. I'm gradually adding some color here and there. I'm trying to only use perennials in my make-over too. I believe annuals are mostly waste. I mean, they're pretty and all but if you're going to spend the money, get something that lasts. I do use some annuals for my containers but if they're going in the yard, I want them to stay.

I kept the Tulips, Daffodils, Hyacinths, Roses, and the pink Lily of the Valley the Brindley's had planted. I've added some Irises, a Lily here and there, Bleeding Hearts, amongst other things to them all and we won't talk about what I have killed. Oops! But, these are mostly Spring flowering plants so come summer, all I have is plain old boring green.

I got some new plants last night and I am very excited. I traded the last of my ugly-ass hostas for some new stuff. Why is it that old farts think that the only thing that grows in shade are ugly-ass hostas? I've dug up and given so many away - they were planted in every shady spot around our house. I'm planning to replace them with Trillium Lemon, and a Wood Poppy for now. As I find more shade plants that I like, we'll add those in there too.

Anyway, I was given some Zebra Grass, a butterfly bush, a chocolate lily, and another grass that grows to be 7 FEET tall! These are from a nursery and guaranteed! My neighbor came home during this trade and gave me permission to dig up a peony from his backyard. I've been coveting that line of peonys for what, 7 years now!?! :)

My sister Karen gave me some of her divisions last year (the year before too) and those are taking off nicely this year - just like she said they would. I do have to admit that I'm beginning to forget what is weed and what is plant! It looks awful - but I haven't been pulling any weeds until they flower - then I'll know.

I also ordered a Tree Peony for my front yard, a Double Knock Out rose, a Maximilian Sunflower, a Russian Sage and some Painted Daisies (shades of pink) for the side of the house. I was really looking for some things with height. I think I did okay.

Friday, Jeremy and I are taking a trip to the greenhouse for my annuals to do my front porch hangers and window boxes. I'll also pick out my hanging basket for the back door. I'm thinking shades of purple and yellow for this year as well as lots, and lots of Miracle Gro, hmm and maybe a vat of RoundUp too.

Saturday, I'll be playing in the dirt. All these guys will get planted. Of course, it's supposed to rain.

I'll get some pics out here soon - maybe some before and after...or before, transitional then after. Something like that.

Let's try this one more time.

Thanks Becky! Based on your advice we chose to go with Norman Camera. Jeremy called yesterday and put a hold on it, talk about a great experience. The guy (Matt) was very helpful on the phone, he set both Jeremy and I at ease. I'm looking forward to picking up my new camera this Friday!

I'm realizing the fiasco I went through with the first 'business' was telling me I wasn't quite as ready for this purchase as I thought I was. I had a few more things to research and more to learn before I made my purchase. You know - I felt amiss when I placed that first order. I knew it wasn't the right place or the right time for the purchase. I wasn't listening.

I've set out shopping for my accessories now. Looking for the right bag, a tripod (I'm looking forward to taking some night shots that I can't hold my point and shoot steady enough for), and a remote to take more family pictures. Something is yanking me in a direction I need to take. I need to follow this picture taking path and see where it leads me. There is this drive behind me that I can't explain. A little voice is telling me that this is going to be more than just a hobby for me. I hope that voice knows what it's talking about. I'm ready to start small and go from here. I'm listening now!

And Becky - thanks for the information. I've admired so many of the shots you have taken and I truly value your opinion/input.

Not so fast, girly!

I was soo excited. I'd searched and I'd searched for my camera. I read and I read. I looked and I looked for the best deal with what I thought I wanted. I found it and I ordered it.

(Keep in mind - this 'store' came highly recommended by numerous people who have purchased from them with no issues - I didn't randomly pick an internet store to purchase from.)

The store I ordered from called yesterday asking Jeremy if we were aware that the two lenses included in the deal were manual lenses rather than auto focus. The salesman and Jeremy agreed to take out both lenses and order ONE auto focus lens for an additional $50.

Jeremy called to tell me this. He was trying to do the right thing but he didn't know.

I called this 'store' and spoke to the salesman. The package I had selected had 1 manual lens and 1 auto focus lens. I thought I had 2 manual lenses, I didn't expect to have 2 auto focus lenses but, didn't realize what I did have until Jeremy told me about the new deal he'd made. The salesman sold Jeremy 1 auto focus lens and took one away from the package for an additional $50 charge. So now, I'd be getting 1 auto focus rather than the 1 auto and 1 manual in the original package...and paying an extra $50! No deal guy. Cancel my order please. The salesman comes back on the phone and says "Your order has been cancelled. Your credit card will not be charged. Good Luck finding it cheaper anywhere else!" and he hung up on me.

Also, in my reseach after the cancellation, I found this camera from this store, is what's called an import model. Meaning the US manufacturer's 5 year warranty is void. Isn't that nice!?!

I should have known this deal I found was too good to be true. I'm back on the hunt again. I've given up on the 'all inclusive made in China extra crap that's all gonna break in a week's time anyway' package. I'm going for the plain Jane, body, two lenses, camera bag package. And, I have re-learned some very valuable lessons, again. 1. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. 2. Buy high end electronics from a reputable distributor approved by the manufacturer. Most importantly #3. Trust your damn instinct!