...from Christmas

I wanted to share Jacob's new quilt that his Aunt Cindy made for him. I knew it was in the working and when we came home from Jeremy's parents on Christmas it was here. The red squares have farm animals and the sounds they make on them. It's adorable, warm, and Jacob loves it - so does his momma - the big sap, she cried.

We did have a very nice Christmas this year. Our first experience cooking a prime rib was successful and we will do that again. Jacob was into Christmas a lot more this year than last. He tore into every gift. I'm not sure there was anything overly exciting - ah...except for the Diego Lil' Quad which is now on the back porch for a little bit. It's really an outside toy. I don't know what Santa was thinking...

Responsibility? That's for grown ups...

I've been off of work almost all week and I sure am glad I didn't go up home. Time went by fast enough as it was!

Amber called last night. She is 99% thinned and having contractions. The Dr. told her yesterday, "it looks like we'll have a baby either tonight or tomorrow". I spoke to her this morning, and she did spend most of the night in the hospital. They sent her home about 9:30 AM for lack of progress. She was told to go back when her contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. Rob gets out of work at 4:00 and she's hoping she can wait until he gets there. Jacob and I are waiting...impatiently. Yes, she's going to call me when she goes back to the hospital. Yes, we're leaving when she calls. No, I'm not emotionally ready for this. Could I be?

Amber did give me a beautiful "in the event of my death letter" when we saw her. She wrote down things like how glad she was to have met us, and that Jacob has us. Also, some things she wanted to tell him. I couldn't help but cry. She's so happy with the choice she made in our family. I do want to say that I am so proud of my family and my friends for loving Jacob so much and all of the wonderful things you do for him and with him. I want you all to know how proud I am to have you. Thank you!

Jeremy and I went in and signed our wills yesterday. Having watched Amber go through this mess...again, shed a lot of light on some things we needed to accomplish. 2 years ago, I never gave thought to what would happen if I died. Sure, I designated beneficiaries on my 401K and life insurance. I never had to worry about care or support of anyone else. To sit in that little office and decide who gets what and when, who takes care of everything when I'm no longer here. And the most important worry, who's going to love my child - we, thankfully made that decision long ago - now it's easier for that person in the event of our death. Yeah, that's a lot to decide in a half hour. Our attorney did also make provisions in our will should we decide to adopt again, so we won't have to change it should Amber's daughter come home with us.

You know how when you bite your cheek, it swells, and every time you eat something, you keep biting that same spot? This whole thing with Jacob's hearing/speech is a lot like that. Now we know there is a problem, we're noticing so much more and remembering more from before. He does hear, it's more like...imagine yourself under water and someone is talking to you, you know they are talking but it's muffled and you can't quite understand them. To you, that's normal so you begin to associate those muffled sounds with objects and when you want that object, you repeat the muffled sound that you heard because that's all you have ever heard. It's kind of sad, huh? This is a pretty good article about ear tubes though and explains what will be happening here at Random thoughts in a month or so. We've never had an ear infection but this fluid was there at Jacob's 18 month check-up. Our Dr. doesn't think it's going to go away, nor does he know that 2 of Jacob's 4 siblings have had tubes.

The Dept. of Water and Sewer was here this AM to check out Lake Harper. Of course, "We're not responsible for anything from the shutoff to the house." they said. Oh, the water is coming in next to our main which is inside the house. So, the plumber comes on January 2 and his estimate, without looking is between $1500 and $2000. Hooray!

Lastly, when did freaking toilet seats get so dang expensive? Of course, we can't just lose one, we have to lose 2! One broke, and the other was such heavy particle board I was afraid Jacob would lose a finger plus, we all know what happens when particle board gets wet...ick!

If you haven't noticed, for us, when it rains - yeah, it pours and it seems like it's always raining. We hope to see you back again soon...bring your umbrella!

Making the appointments

We received the paperwork from the therapists for Jacob's evaluation...again. It said we would receive a phone call in about 10 days for them to make the appointment to come to the house. I imagine we'll hear back from them after the New Year.

We're going through Early On (again), they are a part of the Intermediate School District and I have been told many times over how wonderful they are. We first met them when Jacob was about 6 months old. They came to evaluate him then as our previous pediatrician had "some concerns". They were even more wonderful than everyone said. I, to be completely honest, I'm looking forward to having them come over again. The tests they do, it's awesome to watch your child do them and to see what he really does know. He blew through that first evaluation...by the way - her "concerns" were invalid and he actually scored into 2 categories above his age!

I also called and made the follow-up appointment with Jacob's pediatrician (we've changed from the Dr. referenced above...wonder why?) regarding the fluid in his ears. We go back on January 22. The Dr. will then make his decision and we'll know whether we're putting tubes in or not.

Jacob has been saying a few more words since his check-up. He was telling the girls at day-care yesterday to "come-on!". I have noticed though, that when he does talk, he sounds much like a hearing impaired child. Daddy is "Da", horsey is "sey", piggy is "gy", sit is "see". He says a few other things but sounds very nasal-ly when he does. Then again -he has said other things as clear as day - only one time though and won't repeat them. Like "Grandpa", "sit down", "car deal", and "drink".

I know I haven't been much help to his speaking thus far. I tend to talk fast without enunciating. I'm not blaming myself - it's just a fact is all. I know he's just turned 2. I know there isn't a drop dead date of when he's supposed to do what, and I know all kids are different. I'm not scared, I'm not worried, I'm not upset, I am a little concerned but, I know Jacob isn't deaf, or mentally impaired. I also know that a little coaching, a little therapy never hurt anyone. I'm learning that the fluid thing and the slowness to speak is actually quite common in kids and we'll all be fine. I just want to do what's best for my kid.

5 to go...

5 more days until Christmas break. If you couldn't tell, I am really looking forward to Christmas break this year. 11 days at home with Jacob - 4 of which Jeremy will be home too. I'm staying home this year, for the first time, in a long time. I typically go up home for at least a few days. It's not that I don't want to go home, with Jeremy's schedule, it just doesn't work as well this year.

We have about 6-8 inches of beautiful snow! I love the first big snow. When you look out and it's all smooth and sparkly, where no one has walked yet. A giant blanket of white covering everything.

Jacob and I went outside to play while Daddy shoveled the driveway. Our neighbors plowed the sidewalk from our house up to theirs so we walked a little bit and then took the sled the other way. We made it around the curve before the sled tipped over and I dumped Jacob in the snow. Of course, in his coat, snow pants, boots, etc. it's a little tough to get up. We got righted and headed for home. I had to stop and adjust the rope on the sled...made for short people...and then Daddy took over. Poor Jacob, Daddy took about 2 steps and dumped Jacob on his face in the snow! At that point, playtime was over! Jacob and Mommy went for the house. The poor kid, he didn't want to go in...but he was all wet - snow down his jacket, in his hat, up his mittens - ugh! We made it into the house, Jacob is crying, crying, and I put him down to wrestle off my boots, and he slipped on the linoleum in his wet boots and fell flat on his front on the floor. Poor kid! Funny thing...he didn't want to go back out anymore!?!

I ordered a prime rib today from the butcher. I've never made one before. Jeremy and I have, in the past typically spent Christmas Eve as "our time". We have a nice meal, open our gifts from each other, and before Jacob - went to church. We're going to cook our prime rib, we'll see what the little boy does with it and we'll open our gifts after he goes to bed. I'm really looking forward to this time together. Wish me luck on the rib!

The party's over...

Jacob had a great birthday party. Miss Jennifer, Grandma-Grandma, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Liz, Natalie, Alex and Zoe, Aunt Anita, Sloane and Bobby, Uncle Dave, Aunt Jen and Brooke, Aunt Karen and Uncle Mike were all here. We had a lot of fun with everyone! It was good to see them all too!

We had a Lightning McQueen party. I tried to decorate a cake myself and had to buy one from the grocery store at 10:30 the night before.

Jacob had his 2 year check-up on Friday. His pediatrician is recommending another evaluation from Early On. Jacob isn't talking enough. He should be using some sentences by now and is barely using full words. I wasn't surprised, I was expecting the Dr. to say just that. All of Jacob's biological siblings have gone through speech therapy - we knew it was coming. I called the therapists today, they are sending out the paperwork and they should be here in about 10 days to do the evaluation.

Also, at the check-up, the Dr. found some fluid in Jacob's ears - just fluid...no signs of infection. This may be contributing to the speech delay. Jacob goes back for a recheck in about 6 weeks. If the fluid is still present, we will open discussion to have tubes put in his ears. Again, 2 of his biological siblings have tubes in their ears - not a surprise to have Jacob need them.

We also have affectionately named the water in our basement, it's now known as Lake Harper. We're not sure if it's just seepage from the rains or if we have a leak where the main comes into the house. Nothing appears to be wet on or around the pipes but the floor sure is wet! We'll see if we get a $100 water bill.

Happy 2nd Birthday Jacob!!

Beautiful boy,

Two years ago today, you came into our lives in such a big hurry. You didn't even wait for the Doctor to deliver you - the nurse, she barely caught you! You're still in a big hurry, growing so fast, and learning so much. Sometimes I wish you'd slow down, so I can enjoy each stage just a little longer. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, full of happiness and everything a little boy could want.

Your birthday will always be one of the happiest days of my life. You were the most beautiful baby, and I will always remember every moment of how you came to be my little boy. I will tell you your story as many times as you want to hear it - over and over. It's my favorite story to tell.

Da and I are so proud of you, Jacob and how smart you are. You surprise us every day with the things you know, do, and say. We cherish every moment we have with you. We love reading to you, doing puzzles, coloring, even watching cars go by. I will always be grateful to Rob and Amber for giving us the best gift your Da and I have ever received...You!

Your First Mommy and First Daddy are always thinking of you. Today, more than usual. They do love you very much and hope you'll understand why they had to give you a better life than they could give you at the time.

You are a very lucky boy! You have a lot of people who love you - very much.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

A Birthday

It’s my child’s birthday
He just went dashing by
His eyes are sparkling with the excitement meant only for today.
Presents, kisses, hugs, cake, ice cream
It all seems so natural.
It’s a day of looking back and looking forward.

It’s my child’s birthday
But there is something different happening inside me.
This should be a day of complete joy
A day for Thanksgiving
But in the midst of all this excitement
I pause, because my thoughts are about someone else for a time.

It’s my child’s birthday
I have no memories of his life growing inside me and fighting to be released.
Another someone was there
Another someone suffered for my joy.

It’s my child’s birthday
But someone, somewhere, is feeling emptiness inside.
I’m sure she is wondering
Who does he look like?
Is he big or small?
Wondering if he laughs much.

It’s my child’s birthday
And in the midst of this blessed day that was given to me
I have a prayer

Oh God, that I may never forget that someone suffered so much to give life to my child. That someone loved my child, so very much that she gave him the right to live. May I never forget that moment and especially now, today, to offer a prayer of thanks for that someone and that you, dear God will always be there for her to help her through the hurts she will have when she stops to think,

“It’s my child’s birthday.”

Thank you Amber and Rob, with our whole hearts, we thank you.

What was your favorite Christmas ornament?

I was visiting the blog of a friend of a friend today and she was telling of a favorite ornament she had as a child. It sparked my curiosity...

My favorite, was my Holly Hobbie ornament. A big, white one with the satin strings and a plastic sheath over it with a picture of Holly Hobbie on both sides. My sister, Valerie had one to match but with the red Holly Hobbie girl...don't know her name. I believe my sister Gloria gave them to us. She always gave us an ornament at Christmas.

I too, have raided my mom's ornaments. I have most of mine from when I was a kid. I have both my Holly Hobbie and Valerie's as well as a few others that make me smile - from my nephew, Chris mostly. I know my brother has his collection of drummer boys from my mom's house too.

I'm interested to know, readers and please leave a comment - What was your favorite Christmas ornament? Do you still have it? Did you raid your mom's ornaments?

Go crazy folks! Go Crazy!

I was having such a hard time figuring out what to do for Jeremy for Christmas this year. We've been together for almost 7 years. I've never had a problem thinking of gifts for him. St. Louis Cardinals stuff, Denver Broncos stuff, clothes, slippers, books, movies, and baseball cards...examples of gifts past. I asked my friends, my co-workers - even my boss for suggestions. My boss did have one good suggestion though - sure to be a hit, thanks, that really helped. My friend, Jen, said, "Don't worry, it'll come to you." She was right. I was sitting here this morning, doing I don't remember what and "Ding, Ding, DING"!! I had the perfect idea. Something Jeremy has been asking for, hinting about, saying he wanted for as long as we've lived together. I did it! I got it! Honey, I promise, you'll LOVE it! I hope it gets here in time...

I'm the biggest pest when it comes to Christmas. Just like a little kid. All the pretty presents under the tree. It drives me absolutely crazy, when there's one for me from Jeremy and I don't know what's in it. Gifts from Jeremy only have this effect. Anyway, last weekend, he put a gift under the tree for me. I rearranged gifts under there last night and gave it a good shake. It didn't make any noise. Seems to be rather soft and sponge-like. It has the feel of clothes...

Honestly though, my greatest joy on Christmas is knowing that you have the perfect gift for someone, and having it confirmed when you see their face after they open their gift. It warms my heart when that magic happens. I think this might be one year when that happens a lot.