Sharing the kitchen

I have these little quirks.  Things I like done a certain way. Especially in my kitchen.  It's funny, my sisters never ever bother me when in my kitchen, I think because we all learned to maneuver around each other in my parents teeny-tiny kitchen.  When we get together, I'm not sure if we simply anticipate each other's movements or we're  not shy in our intentions or if we fall into this orchestra from our childhood but, it works.  Yet, with us, we're all still very different in our own kitchens, how we wash dishes, where we keep our tools, our bowls, or our bread. We still all work well together.  

Most places, I feel pretty comfortable in the kitchen and I think most times, I'm fairly comfortable having someone else in mine...except for that ONE person and we all have that ONE person who is always in the way.  The ONE where you need water and she's standing in front of the sink, you need something from the fridge and he's leaning against it.  You need a spoon and they're blocking the drawer.  No matter what, you move left and they move...right into your path. I just want to point them to a chair and say, "SIT!  Stay!".

I don't mind help in my kitchen, if you're truly helping me and most people can tell the difference.  I don't mind someone doing dishes and leaving me a clean stack on the table to put away.  I do mind when I go looking for something and can't find it because you put it where you thought it should go instead of asking me where I keep it.  In the past, at my house, I have always been the dishwasher.  Recently, I have taken on the role of Sergeant.  Some one else washes and I answer all the questions while putting things away.  It works so much better for me.  

To the point, have you ever noticed there are just some people you can't share a kitchen with?

I came across this in Ann Landers some time ago and I can completely relate.

Dear Well-Meaning Friends:

Please stay out of my kitchen

From my dishwashing, cooking and such.

You are kind to have offered to help me,

And I do want to thank you so much.

I hope you won't think me ungracious

When I ask that you leave me alone,

For my kitchen is not very spacious,

And my system is strictly my own.

So please stay out of my kitchen,

It may well prevent a few wars.

And when I'm invited to your house,

I promise to stay out of yours!

(in case you were wondering where the idea came from for this post, I bought a 6 pack of brightly colored scrubby sponges yesterday and I got to thinking about them, for instance - Cindy, Karen and I, most often wash dishes in a sink full of soapy water while Gloria often uses the soapy sponge method - which I will use if I have a small amount of dishes to wash - not that either is wrong, only different.  Which led to...and...and I remembered this Ann Landers....etc.)

Life IS Good

We moved here in December of 2001 and I have struggled since. How and where do you meet people?  Some said, when your kid starts school.  Some said when you get active in your community.  That didn't work.  Well...at least not right away.

It's not really a secret, I struggle with people, finding the right people and I've always kept my circle rather small.  True.  Genuine.  Honest.  Reliable. Kind.  Those are hard requirements.  Of course, there are things like, not too braggy or flashy, no green with envy types, etc. A lot of times, it's very hard for me because I generally read people right off the bat and I'm very rarely wrong about my first instincts.

I'm looking back at this past year, and there are a few new budding friendships and I am thankful/blessed to have these people coming in.  I'm learning to put myself out there and engage with new people - who knew THAT could be key!?!

I've finally cleaned up so much junk within myself.  Cleared out boxes and bags of negativity that was holding me down, holding me back.  Keeping the real me at arms length.

Well, I'm realizing that my life, my life is good.  My life is REALLY good.

Life is good!  I have an awesome partner and the best child EVER!

Life is good!  I have my sisters and my brother, I like them.  And they like ME!

Life is good!  I do already have some great friends.  Some really GREAT people in my life.

Life is good!  I have a beautiful, brown dog who adores her momma and her momma adores her!

Life is good!  I have a good job, a home, a car (and so does my husband).  We have food and soap and water.

Life is good!  I have been able to help a few families that do not have such simple things.  And warm my heart while doing it.

Life is good!  I have been given many opportunities to help others and I am able to say "Yes.  I'll help."

Life is good!  We can take a little vacation and afford to have some fun here and there.

Life is good!  We're making some plans to make our outdoor space more livable.  And I'm excited.

Life is good!  I've met some great people and I'm looking forward to what works out.

Life is good!  I'm tired but, it's a good tired.  It's worked hard, earned my pay, earned my keep and did a good job kind of tired.

Life is good!  I've let go of a lot.  Taken out the expectations and opinions of others and done my own thing.

Life is good!  I've embraced my weirdness.  So I like books.  So I'm kind of a nerd.  So I see and hear dead people.  I don't have a problem with it but, if you do, then I guess the problem is yours.  And I've accepted all of that.

Life is good!  I've learned to do what works best for us without allowing anyone else to cloud our decisions.

Life is good!  I've learned to laugh. To not take everything so seriously.

Life is good!  I've learned to hold my head high and smile.

Life is good!  I'm learning to walk away from the junk.

Isn't that what it's all about anyway?

What I'm giving up for Lent

As a Lutheran, we didn't really give anything up for Lent - Lent is the Christian season leading up to Easter. I had quite a few Catholic friends who gave up things like soda pop, chocolate, swearing, etc. and the Friday Night Fish Fry was quite a popular event in town during Lent.  As Lent is generally observed by a fasting (giving up). It's to set aside time in reflection of Jesus Christ and the events leading up to his death and resurrection.

So, the Lenten season begins today, with Ash Wednesday.  As Lutherans, again, well, we have an Ash Wednesday service though we don't have the ashes put on our foreheads but, as a Lutheran, I know what this time means.  I've actually been heading toward this for a few days without really realizing what time it was and/or that what I was feeling was a part of Lent.

Over these next 40 days, I plan to take my time in reflection and mindfulness (borrowing these words from a friend).  I understand what I mean but, I want to take these 40 days, and be more aware of my actions, my kindness, my thoughts, my direction. To bring more attention when I'm judgmental, unkind, critical of others, you know not acting or presenting myself as a good, or Godly Christian should.

Of course I did my research, I don't generally speak, let alone write until I'm certain but, I found this article on the season of mindfulness, also called Lent and I found it to be quite interesting.  We don't often take time to reflect upon ourselves.  To come face to face with our faults and work to clean them up.

I'm not saying any of this as well as the article linked above and if I try to go any further, I'll end up plagiarizing her story.

I hope you'll think about this practice as well.

It's not about the money but, it is...

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy, hasn't got money.  ~ David Geffen

I have a job.  I have a good job.  I love my job.  I work hard and well, I'm an overachiever.  I am not lazy.  I have never been lazy and I never will be lazy.  I can't not work.  If I didn't work, I would have the cleanest house in town.  My husband and my child would hate me.  Yes, I'd be "THAT mom" .  The mom that has all of her laundry done and put away, dinner on the table every night, and you would all hate me as I'd be volunteering for EVERYTHING put in front of me.  Shit.  I'd hate me.

I'm that kind of person.

I don't give up.  I try harder.  I back up, regroup and go again.  I like being the person who has it covered. Who takes the extra step, who planned ahead, thought ahead.  I like being an overachiever.  I like being accomplished.  I'm proud to know people can count on me to do it, to do it well, to do it right.

I don't cut corners.  I don't settle.  I want what I want and I'm willing to do what it takes to get there.

I don't gamble.  In any way shape or form.  You may have heard me say, and I do say it often, "I hate casinos!" or my other favorite, "I'd rather slip my $20 under the door and go home.".  I do HATE casinos. They are not my thing.  I work hard for my money, I like to keep it, not throw it away with no guarantee of getting anything back in return.  To me, gambling is a waste.  How do you think they build these big, sprawling game-rooms?  Why with YOUR money, of course!  I'm not willing to contribute to that.

I see people who receive a lump sum of money, be it a tax return or what ever and they all run out to dinner, buy furniture, expensive name brand clothing, take an expensive trip, yet they drive a vehicle with bald ass tires.  If I get a lump sum of money, it's money to fix something in the house or pay something off.  Or better yet, save for a time when I may need to buy those new tires.  I was told once that when you are poor, you tend to just see what is in front of you.  You don't look ahead because it's simply too far and too depressing.  If you only live in the now, it's not so bad.

I cook at home.  We often go out for lunch.  It's more affordable than going out for dinner.  I like to cook for my family.  In my home.  I don't like restaurants and in general, I don't like the people in them.  I find there are too many people who complain about nothing for a cheap meal.  It's not right.  Granted most of these people do have money and complain because they're jerks but, I have also seem many people who just like to complain.

I don't like when people assume that I have money and that I am a snob.  I have nice clothes, shoes, a new car, yes I do.  I work for these things and I'm cheap.  I don't buy anything unless it's on sale or I have a coupon.  I plan ahead.  I know my bank balance and I keep a close eye on it.  You don't.  Who doesn't like nice things?

I get really tired of people who assume I am rich.  Who say things like, "It must be nice to have a new car.", "Oh, is that new?", or my favorite, "Money isn't an issue for you.".

I live in a very economically oppressed/depressed community.  There isn't much for employment or drive to succeed.  Where most everyone in line at the overpriced grocery store has food stamps.  My argument isn't against food stamps, I simply struggle with those who are capable and CHOOSE to be on food stamps, or those who believe they are ENTITLED to food stamps.  Maybe I have too much pride.  Maybe I get tired of working so hard for what I do have and watching others live off of the system, yet to hear them complain about what I have, what I have worked for, what I have given up time with my family for.

For me, it's not about the money.

The time I took a break from social media

I've just had it.

Take this as you will.  I'm not speaking of any one person in particular and if you relate yourself to anything I am about to say, that is by your own deduction, not by my accusation!

I've felt my annoyance with social media rising lately.  Some people are quite humble, quiet and rather fun. Some laugh with me on my random stupidity or smile at something silly and I really will miss those!

I can't take the bragging, the boasting, the pouting, the dramatic, the falseness and the attention seekers any more!

The girl with the boyfriend who slept with their mutual friend and they broke up but are now back together "stronger than ever" ie. until the next time this happens, the "look at me" and the cryptic posters, I will not miss. At all. 

In the last week or two, every time I login, I just feel my blood begin to boil.  People who aren't who they say they are.  People with the moral concept of a freaking toad!  People who complain about their lack of money yet spending it like their hair is on fire.  And the lies!  Oh, the lies. 

There are some that are truly genuine and I can't wait to login again to see what I've missed from them. Some so sweet and so kind, it breaks my heart to lump them into this.

And my family!  I have LOVED having his connection to them and I'll miss them terribly.

All this and work too.  My plate is so full right now, I honestly and truly cannot afford the social media distraction.  I figure it takes two weeks to make a habit, it takes two weeks to break a habit. I plan to put my nose to the grindstone, buckle down and work hard to break the habit and start anew.

I'll miss you my sweet friends and who knows...maybe I'll take this opportunity to clean some house and make this a place for me to have some fun again.  

The Fenderberg

It's been way too serious around here.  I need something fun.

I was talking with a friend of mine, said a woman done hurt his pride...oh wait, that's Tom Petty and a really great song, by the way but, not where I was going with this...I was talking to my fellow winter lover about cars and snow while she was kicking the hell out of her truck, when this explosion of ice fell off she cheered - "I got that FENDERBERG!!"

I hadn't heard that term and I wasn't quite sure I had heard her correctly so, well, being the nerd that I am, I looked it up in my handy dandy Urban Dictionary app on my phone, like all good nerds do.

"Fenderberg - That disgusting clump of ice, snow and slush that accumulates under your car's fenders behind the wheels during the winter months"

I have also posted a few photos just in case you didn't quite understand.

I did not know the gross things had a name!  Fenderbergs.

That said, I too HATE fenderbergs!  Before getting into my car - at a public place, I walk around the car and kick off all the bergs.  I don't want them in my driveway - or heaven forbid...in my garage!  So I never kick them off at home.  They're heavy.  I don't want to shovel them up.  YULK!  The worst is when you're turning a corner and you can hear them scraping on the tires.  Ugh!

What about you?  Thoughts on the fenderberg?

It's not about me...

I had a nice long chat with my brother today.  It happens once in awhile where the planets cosmically align and we both have time to just talk...or listen as sometimes the case may be.  We talk about so many topics in such a short amount of time and really, it's one of my favorite things. I'm not sure how we even follow each other and if you asked me to repeat any part of it, I seriously couldn't do it.  Once in a while I walk away with a little gem of wisdom from him though.  I did this time.  In our conversation today, he said something that made me think.  He said, "It's not about me".

And he's right.  It's not about me.

This life and the things in it.  They're not about me.  It's about Jeremy and Jacob and giving them the best that I can.  Teaching my son to grow up and be able to take care of his wife and his family. To show him how to do things around the house.  To teach him - even if I fail or he doesn't learn.  We're struggling with his socks these days - He thinks I should put his socks on for him, I disagree.  I'd love to keep him close and dote on him because I love him but, it's not about me.  He has to learn for himself.  I can't keep doing everything for him, if I do, he'll never learn.  I'm here to teach him, to guide him. It's not my job to be his friend, my job is to be his mom.  Because,

It's not about me.

I have a job.  It's a simple (and complex) job.  I make a bazillion decisions everyday.  It's not about me.  It's about my company and doing what's best for them.  I happen to be an overachiever.  I have to put in my all, everyday, all the way.  I can't do less than that.  That's just me.  But, it's not about me and I won't pat myself on the back for it.

It's not about me.

I have a sister that has chosen to be by herself.  I love her.  I have to respect her decision.  I have to let her go.  Sure, I wish it wasn't like this, that she didn't feel the need to be alone.  It's not about me.  I can't make her come out.  I can't fix what ever is wrong.  I can't fix it if she won't tell me.  I can only be here for her when she's ready.

It's not about me.

I've been working on my Reiki, on communicating with spirit, this whole psychic thing and I wonder where this path may go, I get scared that people won't believe me or think I'm a fake or a fraud.  It's not about me.  Let these spirits come into your home all hours of the day and night, let them shower with you pestering you to tell this one, or tell that one.  I didn't ask for this....well, I encouraged it a lot.  But, these messages, these spirits are not about me, they're not here for me.  It's not for my benefit.  I don't even charge a fee.

It's not about me.

So many things I do, it's not for the recognition - if that was the case, I'd list them here for all the world to see, I do them to fill a need, to follow my heart, to give someone something that I know what it's like to need.  I do it to help.  I do it because God told me to.  It's not about me.  It's about being a human being, having a heart.  It's not about the cost or the sacrifice or anything else.

It's not about me.

I guess too, we need to look at other people and the things they do to us, things that hurt us, hurt our feelings and we have to remember at those times to look in and say - this may not be about me.  Maybe they have some other things going on, things within themselves that they need to do or to change.  We don't know everything about everyone and what their needs are.  Even things going on around us, this world it's not always about me.  Pick and choose, not everything is a personal attack.

It's not always about me.