First Day of Preschool!

He started out well...excited to start school and enjoying his pancakes.

Until he found out he had to wear jeans. This was in the car on the way.

(Jacob did calm down once we got to the school and I did take 1 picture of him with a friend but, 4 other kids and their faces were in the picture so I can't post it.  He went in to the school, got in line, looked back and said "Mommy?", I waved, and on he went.  Thankfully, another mom was right next to me, I know her and I didn't want her to see me cry!  I managed to hold it together to the car.  Then Daddy and I went for foo-foo coffee.  I worked on my to-do list and Big Daddy-O took a nap!)

But, he must have enjoyed himself because this is the kid that we picked up!

He won't tell us much.  He said he built a tractor with a thing behind it.  He said he learned a new song and was singing "Adios...".  He told me that he didn't play with any boys and he didn't play with Sara (his friend from daycare).  And that he went potty twice.   He did say that they read a book (won't tell me anything about it) and they went for a walk...again no details.

Apparently what happens in preschool stays in preschool!

Following the Light

I've written many times about my struggles with my faith and I think I've finally come to the place I needed to be.  I think I've finally come around.  I think I've finally come to terms with infertility, my place and my plan.  I think I've finally learned that this isn't my game, I don't make the rules, I need to go where I am guided.  Some days it will be tough, some days, as easy as pie!  I think I've found my light!

I'm going back to the church.  Our little local church.  I'm going back because I need to go back.  I need the connection.

I'm going back to this church better than I was before.  By "better" I mean, with an open heart, with a joyous heart.  I'm going to be more involved more of a participant, open and willing.  I'm going to volunteer my time and my talents. I'm going to give without looking back.  I'm going to help with suppers, and cook for funerals, and put forth one heck of an effort!

This time, I'm doing this because I need it.  Because my soul needs it.  Because my spirit is craving it.  Before I did it because it was something I was just supposed to do.  It didn't matter my personal struggles or my anger with God.  I was supposed to join a church.  Now, I feel myself being drawn into it - like a bee to hot beeswax!  (my kitchen was over run with bees the day I made those candles!)

I want Jacob to have the pride in me for my service to my church, to my Lord, the pride that I have for my Dad.  I want him to shout "that's my church!" when we pass by.  I want him to enjoy the stories of Jesus that I was taught in Sunday school.  I want to sing the songs I was taught in my church with my son.

10/10/10 (how's that for a milestone?) - we'll be back in our seats, attending our church service.  Jacob will go to his first Sunday School.  There will be tears in my eyes many times that Sunday - not of sadness but, of knowing.  Knowing that I'm doing the right thing and knowing that my Dad is smiling down on us.  Thanks Dad - you can stop pushing me, I got it!

A trip to the Apple Orchard - 2010

All this talk of Soul in the Season (thanks Kate - I needed a reminder), I needed to get going with some special things I wanted to do this fall.  Saturday afternoon, we headed out to Fennville to Crane's U-Pick.  Now this place is pretty plain.  No corn mazes, no little rides for the kids, no little store selling expensive apple everything (that's across the street and was sooo packed they were parking on the sides of the highway!  It's a very busy highway...and with a little Jacob, I just couldn't chance it! Maybe next year.)  

My little apple picker!  And just in case there might be a fire...he's prepared.

Does that look like 31 pounds of apples?

Helping to open the caramels.

Our caramel apples!

We stopped in a little dive bar on our way home (because the restaurant at the OTHER orchard was so packed).  I always loved it when my Dad took me to the bar when I was little.  I always felt so privileged - being in a place that was normally just for adults.  We all split a little deep fried basket of heart-attack and some pop.

I also had to share my latest creation with you too because candles always remind me of fall, maybe because I associate them with warmth.  These are 100% beeswax.  They smell fantastic!



P.S.  - I'll be back soon with previews of our family pictures as well as Jacob's first day of pre-school!

Michigan Fireman's Memorial Festival - 2010

We thought it'd be fun to take our fire truck/station/fighter obsessed child for a little trip up to Roscommon, MI for the Michigan Firemen's Memorial Festival.  All I can say is WOW!  We saw a lotta fire trucks!

 
We also took a little ride past Camp Grayling.  A doe and her twins were having a late dinner.

Saturday morning, we drove back into Roscommon for the Firemen's Memorial Festival Parade.  As we were coming into town, the fire engines were lining up on the side of the road.  We saw the numbers from # 38 all the way up to #1.

Camp Grayling sent in one of their trucks.  It was really cool!

My poor fire engine lover!  He'd had enough of all of the sirens and horns during the parade.  I finally sat down with him and put my hands over his ears so he could at least enjoy the parade.  A boy next to us was sharing his candy with Jacob as he wouldn't let me take my hands of of his ears!  Toward the end, this momma just wanted to yell "ENOUGH with the DANG sirens already!".  Thankfully, our Daddy-O video taped the parade and I think Jacob has watched it non-stop since!

After the parade we drove out to the actual memorial.  We found a few local firefighter's names.  It always humbles me to think of those folks who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice  - police, firefighters, soldiers - for me, for us.  It takes a special human being to put themselves in harm's way - and 'thank you' never seems like enough.



A little bit of summer...

I feel a little guilty that I haven't posted much all summer but, I thought I'd share a glimpse of what we did.

I can't tell you the last time all 5 of us (Elenbaas) had our picture taken together.   Back row = Me (#6), Gloria (#3) and Karen (#2).   Front row = Cindy (#1) and David (#5).

And...most all of us. 

My nephew Alex and his big sister, Natalie (Jeremy's sister Liz's kids) at Jacob's Gotcha day party.

I saw a lot of cake faces this summer! (Natalie)

We saw a lot of "Big Guys".  This is Allegan County Sheriff's newest taken at the 175th anniversary of the Allegan County Sheriff Department celebration.

At Aunt Cindy's after shopping for new clothes to go to preschool.

A lot of swimming with our new puppy.  Including two trips out on Grandma and Grandpa H's boat.

And a bajillion Fire Engines.

Daddy's Birthday.

"A Louie cake" (Louie is my sister Karen's dog).

Cousin Alex and Zoe's birthday.  It's really cool - they're twins...born on different days.  One is 2 days older than the other.

And the Allegan County Fair parade.  The fellow in blue is the Allegan City Police Chief - Rick Hoyer.  The fellow in brown is Blaine Koops - Allegan County Sheriff.  We also got to high five the Chief of the Allegan Fire District during the parade.  Have I ever told you how lucky we are to live where we live!?!  We're DANG lucky! 

And this brown dog that we CANNOT keep out of the water!  She jumped in here by herself.  Man - is she a pain in the ASS!  But, she's gonna be a great dog and we sure LOVE her!

Yoooohoooo! Anybody Home!?!

Can you hear it echoing through the empty halls?

I just stopped in to check the mail, or so it seems.  I'm not spending much time here.  I pop in and see what the latest updates are with my friends who are busier than I and still manage to spend quality time with their blogs but, I don't stay long before I turn out the lights, lock up and take off again.

So?

Kelsey and Jacob are doing alright.  Kelsey is having less accidents in the house and Jacob is having less accidents with her.  He's not fond of her and the attention she's drawing from HIS mom and dad.  We seem to repeat ourselves A LOT.  "Kelsey 'NO!'  Kelsey 'DOWN!' 'KELSEY!'  Jacob get OFF of her.  Jacob stop teasing her.  Jacob!"  Yeah, that's about it.

I'm still working one less day a week and I'm still enjoying it.  Though it may not have been the wisest financial decision I've ever made, it is the wisest decision regarding my mental well-being that I've ever made.  I had told someone that I can't work full-time, mom full-time, dad full-time, wife full-time, and make a home full-time.  I'm slowly accepting that.

I'm not taking pictures...unless things I'm selling on-line count?

I'm not sewing or crafting.

I'm reading - a little.

I'm selling on-line and still meeting (or exceeding) my goal of $80/month.

My kitchen is clean.

My office is organized.

My basement has been rearranged compliments of the city.  We received a new sewer line, and were connected to the new sewer system.  They replaced our floor drain with a sump pump.  And put in a condenser unit on our central air system.  ALL at the CITY'S expense!

And just so you don't think I'm too perfect - my carpets need vacuuming, my flowers need weeding, and I have a few loads of laundry waiting for me.

I've logged some hours in the pool and walking the neighborhood with my kid and my dog (even my husband = gasp!).

I've been working with some incredible women who have helped me to expand my mind and become a better/happier person.  I'm taking some classes with them and learning many new things.  And simply loving life!

Lights out.  Doors locked.  See you again soon!

Searching for the light

 I've been working on a lot of things lately. I've written before that I struggle with religion and church. I want to find a church home but, the more I think about it the more I struggle with organized religion. I'll always be a Missouri Synod Lutheran - if not in practice then in my heart. My dad made that choice for me 37 years ago, it was his wish, it's how I was raised and what I was taught.   I feel maybe as if that's one thing that he gave me/that he left me after his death.  It's my one tie to him, the one thing we had in common, all I have of him besides his looks.  I do think church has changed since my dad's time.  I struggle with a church family that only wants you for your wallet. You know, we haven't attended our church in almost 5 years and our pastor hasn't once called to check on us? Yet my phone still rings for a driver or a  dish to pass for a funeral, special meetings to ask for more money, you know - the church's needs.  What about our needs?  Is that the Christian way? If so, that's not the type of Christian I want to be.  It's not what it was when my dad chose for us.

I haven't been writing. This spiritual struggle isn't easy to discuss, let alone write about. I haven't been writing because as soon as you say religion - everyone turns and bolts. As soon as you say "spiritual" everyone says "oh yeah, like Tom Cruise?" It's hard for me to say that I'm working on taking steps more towards spirituality because it's really against everything I know or have been taught but, I'm also wondering if everything I know or have been taught is what this is!?!

I was given a note the other day and I want to share it.  This note, if you think about it, and take it back to organized religion - it fits but, it fits the spiritual avenue as well.  Christ said "I am the way, the truth and the life (I've also heard 'light'), believe in me and you shall have eternal life."  He said in John 8:12 "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."  He never said "Come on in!  Dump the contents of your wallet in this here dish and get outta my house!"

WOW!  Do you know how many bible verses refer to God or Jesus as light?  Just sayin' is all.

I'm not saying that I don't believe in the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit.  I do, I most certainly do.   Can't I just believe in a higher power? Is that enough to give me eternal life with my creator?  Does it have to be tagged?  Does it have to be Lutheran or Catholic, Baptist or Methodist,  Buddhist or Muslim, Jewish or Pentecostal?  

Anyway, back to the note - the words are from the note, I added the photos from Photo8.com (they have a lot of great images free for use btw)

1.  The Heavenly Father is LIGHT

2.  The pyramid refocuses Light.

3.  Seek and you will find the Light.

4.  Serve the Light and you will find your freedom in the Universe.