CHICAGO! (Part 2) A room with a view

Our hotel - our hotel was fan-freaking-tastic!

We stayed at The Hilton Chicago and I wish I would have taken pictures in the lobby as this hotel was beautiful!

As first time guests, we were upgraded to a Lakefront room.

Some views from our window:

Navy Pier

We had to move our chair over in front of the window so Jacob could see out.  The Metra tracks ran about a block from the hotel as well as all of the taxis, buses, and fire trucks on the street.  The hotel is on Michigan and Lake Michigan Drive was 2 blocks over.

Wearing his new Chicago Fire Department shirt.  He wanted the letters on the back.

Jacob made friends with our doorman - Rufus who helped us out quite a bit and recommended an awesome diner for breakfast.  If you're ever in Chicago near 11th Street and Wabash, check out Eleven City Diner.  I had the Eleven City French Toast - challah with fresh strawberries, bananas and toasted coconut - OMG!!  It was sooo good - and I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day!  Thanks for the recommendation, Rufus!

CHICAGO! (Part 1) Children's Museum at Navy Pier

We had a great time in Chicago.  Jacob and I were 1st timers both to Chicago and to the train.  I'm going to post this in a few installments because there's just so much to share.  Enjoy!

Our train left Kalamazoo Station at 10:23 AM.  We arrived plenty early.  And Jacob waited impatiently for our train.

"It's coming!"

On board and having a snack.  Our car on the way out was pretty empty.  There were a few people sleeping.  We had a few stops (Niles, Michigan City, and New Buffalo, MI and then we were straight through to Chicago).



After checking into our hotel - The Hilton Chicago (we'll talk more about that later).  We headed out to the Children's Museum at Navy Pier.  This momma did her research and knew they had a special exhibit in connection with the Chicago Fire Department.

This was really cool - the hose nozzles had like little laser pointers and if you got the red light onto the fire, the fire went out.

And check out this truck!

They also had these interactive shadow screens.  Can you see the rain falling off Jacob's umbrella?  They had another with butterflies that would 'land' on your hand.

Here you could make your own flying machine out of foam and crank it up the tower to see if it could fly.

The Rainforest.

CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) Bus.

And best of all - the water!  They had all these little boats to float and you could control the water flow or levels with dams and locks.  They had a whole wall of little raincoats in all colors and sizes.

We took a little walk around Navy Pier and as if the train ride to Chicago wasn't enough...Jacob had to ride "Thomas" too.

Jacob was impressed with all of the taxis in Chicago.  He made friends with our first driver from Union Station to the hotel, Bernard.  After Bernard, he would talk to each driver, trying to make friends.  "Taxi Man?", he'd say.  They weren't overly friendly.

Saturday, what a day!

We had one heck of a busy Saturday!  We went to "The Breakfast Stop".

Jacob ate 2 pancakes!

We walked 3 blocks to the Sheriff's Department.

Crossed the street to the Library.

Where Jacob checked out 6 books (2 on tigers, 1 about sharks that he picked himself!)

Around the courthouse.

Down another 3 blocks to walk through downtown.

And back home to finish a few jobs. 

Those of you who know me, know that my house is generally really, really clean.  I hate clutter.  I'm terrified of becoming a packrat - of being over run by stuff..  I like everything neat and organized, a place for everything and everything in its place, but...once in awhile...it does get a little out of hand and every flat surface of my house becomes a dumping ground.  Saturday, I had planned to go from this:

To this:

And from here:

To here:

As well as from this:

Back to this:
(as you can see, I also managed to pour a few bars of soap.)

I was able to accomplish so much as Jacob took a nap and Jeremy was outside making this:

Into this:
(our old one was a wedding gift and after 9 years, it wasn't going to make it another summer)

After his nap, Jacob did some of this:

And Kelsey, she...

Ate some of these:

And thankfully, we had Sunday to recover, in the rain, and the thunder, and the lightning - a PERFECT day for napping, watching movies, and just plain old loafing on the couch (and a baby shower)!

Off the grid?

Do you ever just want to cancel everything and disconnect from all of the technology?  Away from the pressure to update, speaking of updates - all the ones from Suzie LookatME on her latest expensive vacation where she bought a bazillion dollar car and ate caviar for her last 10 meals - which is the only time she ever updates, and you cringe every time her name pops up.  Everyon has one of those along with the hand full of others pretending to be someone that they're really not - when you can't help but wonder. And not to be excluded. the so-and-so sent you an hug today, this one bought a cow and that one's horoscope, it's National Father, Son, Daughter, Christian, Disease and WHATEVER else week, and this laundry detergent that you like can save your soul.  (I know I can make those go away)  I just want to say "ENOUGH!"

I'm really fighting this urge to just turn it all off. 

Some days, all of it serves me a reminder that I'm really all alone here.  I'm the wife of a restaurant manager and he is never home.  I tried a soap business that hasn't generated a single reorder (it's okay - it'll be what it'll be - I'm not trying for pressure sales).  I have a few friends left from back home that never call or plan or have never even been to my house in the past 10 years that I've lived here!  At this point, are they really friends anymore? 

Make new friends, you say?

It's difficult to find people with common interests.  But, the biggest kicker is KIDS!  It's strange how much your kids or having kids changes the process of making friends.  People with kids older than yours don't quite remember what it's like at this age/stage.  People with a lot of family around don't know how difficult it is to find a sitter that you CAN trust.  People with kids younger than yours have schedules to keep and diapers to change and more crap to haul - and you're the one who forgets what that stage is like.  It's hard to go somewhere together with a bunch of car seats.  There are bedtimes, and feeding times, and find a potty times.  UGH!  It's so hard!

And the method in which you choose to raise your kids is a topic all in its own and I'm not going to touch it with a ten word sentence!

Single friends don't understand that you have a husband or need a sitter or don't have a sitter so you either have to bring your kid or take him/her along.  Married friends with empty nests forget that you do need or like to see your kids before they go to bed or that you do actually enjoy your husband's company.  Yet none of them understand the 'my husband is home for the first or only evening this week and I'd really just like to have a conversation or sit and watch a TV program in his company because I won't see him again for the next 3 days! I'm sorry I have to miss your candle/housewares/food/cooking/wine that-I-can't-even-drink-party.  But, I'd really like to see my husband for once.

And then one day, the phone stops ringing, there's no more email, no comments, not even any 'likes' and you realize that all of these things got in the way for so long that you're now alone (and you can't even say anything interesting either!).

Yet - there are the benefits too.  A friend who found you after 20 years and you're so excited to have him/her back that brings you to tears.  The news that my uncle had passed away and now that his wife is in the hospital having surgery after she took spill.  The updates from cousins that I've never met.  A post that my niece passed her college course.  Without this technology, I would miss these great things.

Jeremy is home the next 9 nights - meaning he doesn't close and he'll be home before 10PM on all but 3 of those nights.  :)

So, I'll do what I always do.  I'll take my tissue and wipe my tears and wait for tonight when I pick up the handsomest 5 year old boy I've ever met to tell me, "Mommy?  I missed you today!"  And none of this other crap will matter.

Remembering Uncle Art

Another of my father's brothers passed away this morning.  My Uncle Art, #3 of the 9.  He was 87 and had a tumor in his brain.  He decided that he didn't want to treat it, that he'd had a good life and he'd go when the Lord came to call him home.  I hope when it's my time, I am able to say the same.  I do believe that death is a little easier to take when we know the decedent had lived a good life, had family to love, to love them.

Uncle Art was a great man, who most always wore a smile and carried a laugh everywhere he went.  He kept all of the family stats, was the leader of the 'Up North Clan' and the eldest living brother.

As my sister said, "there was a great group of guys waiting for him to join them".  I'm sure they already had dealt him in on the next hand...the fifth brother to join the game. 

I took the news a little harder than I thought I would.  It seems as I'm getting older my emotions are closer to the surface (I'm crying at TV shows, commercials, etc.).  Yet, I tend to take things attached to my dad a little more to heart, and Uncle Art's passing is another broken link to my dad.  I guess it's kind of a realization that one day, everyone who knew my dad will be gone, and their memories of him will be gone with them.  It just stings a little.

My thoughts today are with my Auntie Mae, my cousins, and their families as they make the arrangements to celebrate Uncle Art's life.  They are certainly in my prayers.

Rest peacefully, Uncle Art for you loved and were loved by many.

Chick Days

Chick Days are back at our Family Farm and Home store.  Jacob loved visiting last year so when I saw "Chick Days" on the sign, I planned to take him in again to see those fluffy chicks.

And they had a bunny (complete with a "caution I may bite" sign).

(I forgot to mention that last year, Jacob couldn't see into the little pens - we had to pick him up!)

I couldn't resist!  They're so cute and fluffy. And Jacob was too scared to pet it.

And this is Jacob's photography debut!  I let him use my Nikon (can you believe it!?!).  Not bad, not bad!



Excuse me? What just happened?

Warning:  I'm going to get a little non-conventional here.  I'm going to talk about something you may not believe in, may not understand or might find totally weird and way beyond your level of acceptance.  You are free to read on or to pass.  No hard feelings.

Before I met my husband, I had dated another man for about 6 years on and off (more off than on).  There was a considerable age difference (21 years) and before you get all 'father figure' on me, that totally wasn't the case.  He was a good man.  He took care of me - again not in the fatherly sense but, and I wish I could explain this better, there is a certain air, a certain something about dating someone older.  There is a certainty in a man that is older, a confidence like no other.

This man saw me through a lot of things in that time.  My family didn't understand but, also in this time, I had been taken advantage by another man - against my will (we'll talk about that another time).  This relationship should have ended much sooner but, I needed him there to help me through that awful time.  I didn't tell anyone.  I needed to know that I was still something special to someone.   I couldn't get myself together and I saw that this man didn't want a future with me in the same way that I wanted a future with him.  He wanted to stay together, live together and just enjoy life together.  I knew that I wanted to get married and eventually have a family.  He already had 2 divorces and 1 kid.  I worked hard to get myself together and get on with my life.  I started a new job, I moved away.  I became more confident and I grew up.

In the last year of the relationship everything was sour.  To put the two of us into a room together was like putting us into a boxing ring.  Each of us taking our shots below the belt.  I always told him that one day, I was going to be strong enough and I was going to leave.  I was getting very close.

I left him on May 6, 2001.  I just left and I didn't go back.  I met Jeremy on May 10 and when I got home from meeting Jeremy, I had a letter in the mail from the other guy that it was over - I already knew that it was.   I scoffed and threw the letter in the trash, thinking "Finally, he gets it!  I'm free!".  The end of that relationship wasn't Jeremy.  I knew that I needed to close this guy's door before Jeremy's could be opened.  The old relationship had really been over for more than a year at that point only neither of us wanted to admit it.  My first official date with Jeremy was May 12.

I was never happy with the way that I left my ex.  I always felt that I needed some type of closure, that I needed to apologize for my actions over the years, that I need to put this mess to rest.  It really bothered me.  I thought about it often, I talked with Jeremy about it.  I knew that I was happy with my life now, I knew I was meant to be with Jeremy yet, this nagged at me constantly and consistantly.  I knew that I had more to say but, I also know that I was incapable of having a spoken conversation with my ex about this.

I was up home for an overnight this past November, and I ran into my ex.  I hadn't seen him since I walked away in May of 2001 - almost 10 years.  He looked good - he looked exactly the same!  I knew the whole time Jeremy and I were planning that trip that I was going to run into this guy somewhere/somehow that weekend.  And I knew it was unavoidable.  The whole interaction was creepy - he kept staring at me. 

I knew this guy had been watching my every move that night.  I saw a guy from work at the bar before I left.  He was behind my friend and I.  Standing at the wall.  I'd gotten up to talk to him a minute.  I saw my ex just glaring from the bar - I knew what he was thinking.  I knew every single one of his accusations without having to hear them.  And I knew he was thinking that nothing had changed with me.  What I had said to the guy from work was "Hey!  I was wondering if you'd be here.  I know you like to bring your mom when you're in town. (Yeah, She and my Aunt are losing their social security). This band is good  (yeah, I should have come in earlier).  Too bad this bar is so small (it's always like this - they didn't plan it very well).  We're getting ready to leave if you'd like our table (Great!  Thanks!  But, I have to use the can - can you wait a few minutes?).  Sure, we'll wait until you use the restroom so you don't lose it"  Now, doesn't that conversation just scream "Let's go get a room!?!"

Finally, as I was leaving (and I had to walk past him and his wife to get out of the bar), I stopped in front of him and I said, "If you're going to stare at me all night, the least you can do is say 'hello'." He was there with his wife (#3). Really, that didn't phase me. I wasn't upset that he chose her. I knew that I had Jeremy and Jacob waiting for me back at my hotel and it didn't matter. I didn't even have to convince myself.  We exchanged um, pleasantries - at least on my part (him?  not so pleasant).  And I walked away again.

I went back to the hotel and spilled my guts to my husband.  You see, I can't hide ANYTHING from Jeremy - I'm not capable. This run in/encounter with my ex made me even more uncomfortable.  And I could NOT shake it.

I'd been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love and I can't remember if it was during this trip but, I know it was after.  We were back at home, Jeremy was in the shower, and I was in bed reading and I was at the part where Liz gets locked up on the roof by Richard and she's forced to forgive or forget her ex-husband.  As I'm reading, I keep getting this cologne scent - it's not Jeremy's - and it keeps getting stronger, and stronger, and finally, I realize that it's HIS - it's my ex's cologne!  I did like Liz - I closed my eyes and I said "Look guy, I know that I did some terrible things to you, I know that I hurt you beyond hurt.  I know now that I was wrong and I'm terribly sorry - for everything.  I have forgiven myself and I forgive you for your part in all of this destruction.  I hope you can move past this as well and I truly wish you the best in life."   And he left just as quickly as he'd come.  I meant everything that I said. 

Jeremy got out of the shower and I'm all "YOU are never gonna believe this!"  But, he did - at least I think he did, he acted like he did.

Since that night - I've barely had a thought about that guy.  Any time that I have thought of him, it passes right through.  Like my mind says to me, "we're over this, remember?" and I move on to the next.

I don't know what I experienced.  I don't know what it's called.  Mediumship comes to mind but, that's contact with spirits of the dead.  He's still very much alive.  Well - according to Wikipedia - it's telepathy. It's weird but, call it what you want, think I'm psychic/psychotic.  I just know that even if I don't know what it's called I've finally forgiven myself and he knows that I'm over it.  It truly is a good place to be.