Puppies!

There has been a lot of talk about puppies here at Random thoughts.

We've tried on a few dogs.  First there was Jack, a beautiful Golden Retriever from the Humane Society - with a SEVERE separation anxiety disorder.  Yeah, the dog, was on Prozac.  He ate, and I mean ATE the screen off of our window.  Metal screen.  He ATE it!   Jack is now living with a wonderful grandma who is home most all of the time.  Then came Murray, a little terrier mix from a 'friend' of ours.  He was too clingy for her liking.  Murray was a teeny thing.  Only 9 lbs.  Murray didn't like Jacob.  He started spending all of his time upstairs, hiding from the baby.  Then the snapping started.  Murray is now the king of the castle, living with the parents of a gal that Jeremy works with.  We've overnighted a couple of dogs for the foster my sister volunteered with - and neither of them fit us either.

We're not traveling as much this year.  We're spending most of our time around home.  Now is a good time for a dog.  Jacob's 4.  He'll enjoy having a puppy now.  We'll enjoy him with a puppy now.

We bribed Jacob with a puppy to poop on the pottie.  It didn't work. 

We decided to get a Lab.  My brother is on his second female (Precious - black, and Daisy - golden), my sister Cindy, just lost her golden male - Skip and she's always had Labs (until she changed to Goldens).  My dad had them for hunting.  Call it a family thing.

We decided to get our own dog - a puppy.  We know that there are plenty of animals needing good homes in pounds and Humane Societies all over this country.  We know that type of dog, doesn't work for us.  Not because of the dog - it's the owner.  We seem to be magnets for undisclosed issues with these animals.  I don't want to get schnookered into that again.

We're not out to breed and make money off of puppies.  We'll spay/neuter at the appropriate age. 

We're (and by "we" from here on out, I mean "Me") debating a little over male vs. female...though I'm leaning towards a girl.  Really, I'm the only girl in our house, I need a relief from the testosterone!

We're also debating black or yellow.  I wanted chocolate but, at DOUBLE the price?  Nevermind!

I have a name for her.  I guess, I made that choice.

I don't want a new puppy in the winter.

Good news - the breeder we chose (and we have our reasons for choosing them) had a new litter of pups yesterday.  Mommy had 8 babies, 2 black females, 1 black male, 3 yellow females, and 2 yellow males.  They'll be available sometime in March.

I guess, I'm finally ready to admit it - I want a puppy!

Am I crazy?

As done as it's going to get...

for now.  I still need to paint and prime all the white but, there just isn't enough time before Valentine's day to get to it.  It's just going to have to do! 

The first thing Jacob said when John was done was, "I wanna get naked and play in the water!"  And he did!

As the drain swirls - continued

Look!  It's a ceiling!  And wow, wow, wow, is it BRIGHT in there!

John was in this week and mudded again.  He'll be back on Sunday to do 1 more mudding and he'll put in my new sink.

Rest in Peace, Cutter

We found out this afternoon that we lost another good friend.  This is Cutter with Jacob on the floor, in the lobby at Manistee National Golf & Resort.  We stay there in the off season on trips to Manistee.  The price is right, the staff accommodating, the coffee always hot, the pool is typically empty, And they have Cutter - their "mascot" (the general manager's dog).  Sadly, Cutter was put to sleep on December 28th, 2009.  He's in doggie heaven chasing golf balls and begging for bagels.

We'll miss you "Old dog".

Fate? Destiny? Divine Intervention? All of the above?

I've been reflecting quite a bit in the past few months.  Thinking about my parents, my family, my friends, my challenges, my accomplishments, and of course, my failures. 

As I'm looking back, over the roads I've traveled and I see all of these bumps, and I see hills, valleys, dead ends, turn arounds, cut offs, short cuts, left turns, right turns, and I see where I am now.

I remember going down all of those streets, all of the intersections that led me to where I am today and I begin to wonder what it was that drove me to make the choices that I made.  Each turn.  Each road.  And sometimes, what made me stop or turn back?

Yet I realize, had I missed any single hill, not turned around at the right time, turned right instead of left, I would have missed what I have right here in front of me.

I would have jumped on the freeway and avoided the bumpy dirt road to Jacob.  I wouldn't have kept driving on the wrong street and gone right on by the man who has my heart.  I would have turned right to avoid the discomfort of taking a left and missed the amazing women I met through this blog.  I would have continued down a dead end and missed reconciliation in meeting an old friend for lunch.  So many instances in my life where I got out (or in) just in time.  How does that happen?  How can you explain it away?

I do believe your life is mapped out before you.  I believe the route is planned out before the stork leaves the nest.  I believe God has it all taken care of for you before He's even done with your creation.  I believe that every step I've taken and every new step ahead of me is all a part of His plan.  Each failure or mistake  is behind every accomplishment.

Every day I am thankful for God's plan.  Thankful for the people He's brought me, the people He's moved me on from, and the people He's taken to be with him. Thankful for where he's taken me and the directions he's given.

Cryin' for me

When I was confirmed in the Lutheran Church, my parents gave me a blue Bible embossed with my name in gold letters on the front.  I've carried that Bible with me every where I have lived. At some places, it was set out on a table, some stored in a drawer, now on the bookshelf in our den. Sadly, the only time it is opened is to store another Remembrance Card from another funeral. 

My best friend from high school lost her mom to a courageous 14 year battle with breast cancer this past week. The funeral was yesterday. I came home from Manistee and added another card to my safe place inside my Bible. Everytime I add a card, I look through them all and remember those I have lost. This morning though, I was remembering Jean's funeral yesterday and I was so moved by the strength of her kids and this family that Jean left behind. We all witnessed a tender moment at the funeral when her kids gathered around the urn, with arms around each other, remembering, loving their mother. As I sat in my seat watching them, I felt one single warm, wet tear run down my cheek.

I was sad for them, for losing their mother. I think though, I was more sad at the thought of losing mine. And not because I'd miss her - I'd miss her because she IS my mother but, she never WAS a mother and I don't love her for the things she did as a mother but, because she is my mother.  I was sad in knowing that we didn't come together as a family like that when we lost my dad.  I'm certain we won't when we lose my mom.  All I remember in losing my dad was feeling terribly alone.  I was, maybe happy for them to have that closeness, yet it hurt to know that we, as a family don't.

As I'm there at the funeral thinking all of this through, this song was played and it couldn't have been more fitting. (sorry to hit y'all with song lyrics - again!)

Cryin' for me
(Toby Keith)
Got the news on Friday mornin’
But a tear I couldn’t find
You showed me how I’m supposed to live
And now you showed me how to die
I was lost till Sunday mornin’
I woke up to face my fear
While I’m writing you this goodbye song
I found a tear

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wana be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me

I got up and dialed your number
And your voice came on the line
That old familiar message
I heard a thousand times it just said
Sorry that I missed you
Leave a message and god bless
I know you think I’m crazy
But I had to hear your voice again

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wana be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me


I feel a guilty, a little selfish, thinking of myself when my friend lost her mom.  And then I think - isn't that what we're supposed to take from a funeral?  Aren't we supposed to come away thinking about how we can improve our lives?

Unwritten

It's not a secret, I've been struggling to write here. I'll start something and I'm not comfortable sharing it so I don't or I try to stick with something safe - like pictures. I have ideas, thoughts or stories on the tip of my tongue but, I'm afraid they cross this imaginary line drawn between what I think and what is acceptable to share.  I really had a hard time clicking 'publish' with the last post.

One of my sisters has given me an amazing amount of encouragment to get back into writing. She's preparing for a writing class this spring and like me, she's haunted by a book with all blank pages.  She shared something with me regarding her haunt and now I'm going to share it with you. It's a song from Natasha Bedingfield.  I'm sure you've heard it on the radio.

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins


The rest is still unwritten

I wish you courage in your class, sis.  I hope for you to be able to fill those haunting blank pages with your thoughts.  I think once you get going and get comfortable, you'll really enjoy the peace it brings to you.